I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
October 14, 2001 - 1:57 a.m.
Hard day to write about. I usually start with the narrative then go into my thoughts. I don't think that will work today. I had this all thought out perfectly earlier but I didn't have anything to write it down on of course.
I went to the Manhattan DMV to have my traffic ticket taken care of. That ended up being really easy though expensive. The good part is that it only took about ten minutes. I no longer have a suspended license. I don't have custody of my physical license of course. I'm still going to try and drive on days that public transportation would be really difficult, like tomorrow and this weekend.
I haven't been too happy lately so I did what men with a romantic turn of mind have been doing for millennia, I went to sea. In my case that meant the Staten Island Ferry, it's a few blocks from the DMV. I love the Ferry, for no charge you get a trip across New York Harbor. For a little imagination you can have a trip with Odysseus, Captains Courageous, Ahab, Eärendil, or any other mariner, real or imagined. It proved tremendously helpful for my state of mind. Reading Beyond Life helped quite a bit too.
I came to the conclusion that my problem was that I was not happy with the role that the Author wrote for me. I am a peripheral character in the story sure to end up on the cutting room floor next to Tom Bombadil when they make the film. It doesn't really do much good to complain though. Some authors serve their art, others serve Mammon, none serve their characters.
Somehow this made me feel better. I just got down to appreciating the ride. On the outward trip I was on the starboard side of the ship so I would have a view of the Statue of Liberty. I stand outside which leaves me with the tourists, not the commuters. I love seeing New York through a tourists eyes. It makes me appreciate how wonderful it really is. On the return voyage I stood as I often do in the stern so I can watch Manhattan approach, just like my grandparents did back in the 19th Century. They of course landed first at Ellis Island, which I passed on my left, before taking the ferry to the City. Imagine what it was like for people coming from a Shtetl in Eastern Europe to see New York laid out before them. It wasn't as impressive then as it is now of course. It is still one of my favorite views in the world.
When I finished my sea voyage I went up to my office. I had four more hours to kill and that seemed like a comfortable place to do so. When I got there I got into a political argument with Julius. He hates Clinton. I never bring up politics with him. I wish he wouldn't bring it up, we always fight when we do. I was able to end it by saying that I had to make a call, which was true. I had planned on calling Carey and the argument delayed me.
I hung out in the office for a few hours then I went to eat then to see Dave's True Story at The Living Room. I noticed today that I have fallen off their mailing list. I only knew about the show from looking at the venue schedule. I talked to Jeff about it. He noticed my email address when I added it online last night. He's checking out what happened to it. I'm back on their list just in time. They seem to be playing in New York frequently again. I'm seeing them again next Thursday. They have lots of new material, I can't wait for a new album.
I might have trouble updating tomorrow. I'm volunteering at WFUV then going to see The Professor and Maryann. I should be out all day. It will really help having the car. I can get to Fordham in 20 minutes driving, it would take over two hours by bus, subway, then bus or long walk.
It's so tough picking just one quote from Beyond Life. I think if it were more available I would give that to people instead of Jurgen. I think I'll cheat and use two. First:
You will observe that the beginnings of fiction everywhere, among all races, take with curious unanimity the same form. It is always the history of the unlooked for achievements and the ultimate, very public triumph of the ill-used youngest son. From the myth of Zeus, third son of Chronos (sic), to the third prince of the fairy-tale, there is no exception. Everywhere it is the despised weakling that romance accords the final and very public victory. For the life-battle for existence it was of course the men of puniest build who first developed mental ability, since hardier compeer, who took with bloodied hands that which they wanted, had no especial need of less reliable makeshifts.; and everywhere this weakling, quite naturally, afforded himself in imagination what the force of circumstance denied him in fact. Competent persons, then as now, had neither the time nor ability for literature.
Second:
So with men it is a truism that people of great mental powers are usually lacking in common-sense; for only the normally obtuse can be deluded by any pretence so tenuous as this of the ultimate value of doing "practical" things.
I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.
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On The Road Again - May 26, 2018
Oliver the Three-Eyed Crow - May 25, 2018
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Horvendile October 14, 2001
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