I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
2001-10-15 - 10:56 p.m.
I have an emergency diary entry ready. I thought I might need it today but I won't. I am taking this one out of the vault though.
How do people know I'm smart? They always have since I was a little kid. As I've said before my intelligence is the one thing I'm totally confident about: So much so that I often make fun of my own stupidity. I know what I'm really like but why would others think this guy who can't remember song lyrics, or names, or much else; a man who confuses the simplest things. Why would they think he's intelligent? Yet they do.
I know how I judge other people's intelligence, their ability to keep me amused. This might not be very scientific but it works. There is a direct correlation between making me smile and IQ. It has to do with what keeps me amused. When I'm with friends I'm constantly playing games. The games don't really have rules, winners, or losers but they are games. To people not in the game it will look and sound like conversation, conversation that doesn't make any sense. I think the heart of the games is association. Word associations, people associations, any kind of association. It is realizing why a raven is like a writing desk. (Because Poe wrote on both is one answer) This kind of thing just leaves most people behind.
I hope I'm not coming off as pretensions and conceited here. This is more in praise of my friends than of me. As I've said I have never questioned my own intelligence but it seems that some of my friends question theirs. This is of course ridiculous. It once again shows that it takes someone really intelligent to come up with something really stupid. I have a friend, who I'm sure would rock if she were on Jeopardy, who gets all defensive any time she doesn't know something. No one knows that much. There are 300,000 words in the English language but no individual knows more than about 80,000, most know far less. So everyone in America doesn't know the majority of our own language. Socrates said; "If I am accounted wiser than others it is because I know the extent of my own ignorance." Socrates may not have even existed but Plato gave him lots of good things to say. I'm looking through this entry and seeing all the mistakes that spellcheck is finding. It isn't lessoning my feeling of self worth that is why god created spellcheck, so that I could concentrate on other things. I can argue till I'm blue in the face but I doubt it will do any good. When someone is filled with doubts about themselves they have to find the way out of it themselves. Just in case though, if you are my friend I guarantee that you are smart, cool, witty, and worth listening to.
I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.
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Horvendile 2001-10-15
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