I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity. Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all. - H. L. Mencken Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so -Bertrand Russell What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ... -James Branch Cabell
September 30, 2017 - 4:30 p.m. I had a strange night's sleep. I went to bed late, after 2, I might not have been asleep till 2:30. I woke up at early, went to the bathroom, and went back to bed around 8. I figured I'd sleep another hour, maybe two. I did sleep surfing, where I bounce between sleep, the hypnogogic, and hypnopompic states. Sleep surfing is blissful. I came out of it and felt that it might be as late as 11 AM, then the carillon from the church started, that meant it was noon. I didn't wake up till the time I'm usually finishing blogging. I can't remember the last time I slept that long when I wasn't sick or depressed. I made breakfast before I opened my computer. I considered not writing today but it's 3:29 and I have some time before I leave so I might as well. Yesterday I had therapy. There's an idiot story for at least the second month in row. Every Sunday I lay out my pills for the week. Last Sunday I ran out of pills. That meant I needed refills yesterday. I forgot to do that. I have one of the three pills that I need for tomorrow. I will have to make a special trip to the hospital to pick it up. I wonder if I can ask them to forward it to the CVS near me. I'll ask. I'm an idiot but an idiot that is smart enough to make things idiot proof. I just put in a repeated event in my calendar, every 4 weeks it will remind me to call the pharmacy at the hospital in the morning and order a refill. Some people aren't as stupid as they look; I'm not as stupid as I act. I have a second therapy related idiot story. On my phone's note app, I have a heading, "therapy homework." It's things I want to remember to discuss during my sessions. I forgot to look at it at my session. I try to make things idiot proof but sometimes my idiocy outruns my intelligence. I love my therapist. Does your therapist apologize because she can't give you extra time? We always run long but she couldn't yesterday because of her next appointment. Yom Kippur started at sundown. I have not eaten bacon since then. Don't worry, I am still a devout atheist. When I went shopping on the way home I bought a ham steak and had that for dinner, after sundown. For breakfast I had a hameggandcheese roll. Most days I have a pork product breakfast so that's not so special I just take more pleasure in it on Yom Kippur. This isn't to rub it in to observant Jews. It certainly isn't to defy god; that would be stupid as he doesn't exist. It's just a tradition, my favorite kind of tradition, personal. It's a celebration of who I am. The Trump administrations response to Puerto Rico in the aftermath of the hurricanes is evoking Bush and Katrina. The low point goes beyond Bush, Trump's mean-spirited tweetstorm directed at Carmen Yulín Cruz, the mayor of San Juan. It's reminiscent of his attacks on the Khans, the gold-star family, at the RNC. His lack of compassion and empathy is breathtaking. The government's response to the crisis has been problematic. Unlike Texas and Florida, it didn't suspend the Jones act immediately, it took a hectoring from the press and the public. The same goes for sending the hospital ship U.S.S. Comfort to the Island. Despite all this justified blame there has also been unfair criticism. You know how nobody understands what's involved in doing your job? That they think it's much simpler and easier than the reality? The same thing is true of running a country, more so. Trump was constantly guilty of this during the campaign, he thought handling North Korea and Health Care was easy and he could handle it without breaking a sweat. He still doesn't understand the legislative process. He has no appreciation how much detail is involved in creating a health care system or taxes. Other people don't realize how difficult it is to provide aid to Puerto Rico. The roads are impassible and there's a huge shortage of fuel. When people say, "why don't they just … " they don't understand the situation. Forget Trump, no president would be the one implementing the recovery. If it were easy the career civil servants would have things under control. What an administration can do, and this one isn't, is provide leadership and give people confidence that they consider the crisis a priority. Normal measures are not enough, this is not routine, it takes an extraordinary effort and innovative thinking. Now I have to get ready to go out. I'm seeing The Brother Brothers tonight in Red Hook and have to stop at Trader Joe's on the way. It is literally on the way; the bus goes right past it the store in Brooklyn Heights. I have exactly an hour to get ready. I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge: please hold me accountable.
Memories: Not that Horrid Song - May 29, 2018
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