I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
August 15, 2014 - 11:01 a.m.
OK time to write. Actually it's past time to write,. I do that.
Yesterday Heather asked me for help with a desk. She actually asked me to help her get a desk from Woodlawn in the North Bronx to her apartment in Williamsburg on the subway. I told her that wasn't happening. Instead we went to Target in Fort Greene and bought a cheap one. We got it back to her apartment in a cab, It was heavy but I had no problem carrying the box alone till I tried to get it up her tight stairway. I lost it on the turn and almost fell down the stairs. I didn't. But I needed help managing the corners.
Then came the fun part, assembling it. Like Richard Feynman I try to cultivate a reputation for incompetence so people don't ask me to do things. But I actually can do things. Then I get hurt when people think I can't do things then wonder why they think I can't. I'm a bit complex Or is that stupid. Well here's a hint. After telling you I can do things there is an idiot story coming up.
Why can't they get competent people to write assembly instructions? This one had a few doozies. There was a picture of one panel that a cam had to be inserted in. There were two holes a larger and a smaller. In the picture the larger was closer to a groove. In the reality the smaller was. The cam only fit in the larger one so that's where I put it. I just hope it lined up well.
Before we started I insisted on having something to put the blister pack of hardware in so we wouldn't lose any of the screws or parts. I know how things like to fly around once you get started on these things. The room the desk is in is tiny and there was not much floor space to work with. That's foreshadowing
When I got to putting a brace connecting the legs I found I was short a screw. Somehow it fell out of the box I put it in. At some point the box was moved or jostled and it fell out. Not really sure how that happened. It has high sides. But we found it and I put the brace in.
Then I had to put glue in some holes in the desk top that dowels fit in and couldn't find the dowels. I knew they were there before. We emptied the room and couldn't find them. Ugghhh! I measured the hole as � inch. We went to the hardware store. They didn't have the short dowels only ones three feet long. We found the quarter inch and bought that and figured we'd cut it to size. We got back and it was too big. It must have been 3⁄16 inch. We went back to the hardware store and I as suspected they didn't have one. I used Google on my phone to find another hardware store, a bigger one. It was a 15 minute walk. They had it. we also bought a small saw to cut it to size. Yes they also only had long ones. I get back. I cut the dowels. I insert the dowels. Then I saw there were no holes in the back panel for them to fit in. Here's the idiot part. I had put the back panel in upside down. The missing dowels were already inserted in that. I put it in the way the picture showed but the picture was wrong. it never mentioned the dowels and I didn't think about it when I did it. That meant taking things apart to reverse the panel. I was some work but I did it. From there things were easy. here's the finished product.
See the draws work and everything. I really can do things. I have been doing that kind of thing since I was a kid. When things go wrong I can recover.
After finishing that Heather gave me grilled cheese as my reward. That's one of the foods that has no right to be as good as it is. it's crummy cheese product, they can't even legally call it cheese, and bread. But it tastes so good.
Then I went to Trader Joe's. The price of bacon has gone up everywhere but there's hasn't so I tried some of their bacon as I'm out and that's a catastrophe. It's black forest bacon. No idea what that implies but I hope it's good. it's bacon, it's good.
When I checked out the cashier said I had a radio voice. I objected and told the story about how I heard an announcement I had recorded on WfUV and when I heard it I said, "Who is that announcer, he's terrible." But the cashier said "You sound like Ira Glass." So here's the thing this isn't the first, second, or third time I've heard that. I hear that often. And I do sound love Ira Glass and his voice doesn't make me cringe like my own does. So what's that all about? Maybe I should ask WfUV for an on air job. I was not being serious there. I mean that would be a total waste of my good looks.
I'm not one of those people that's got all upset over Robin Williams. He was never a favorite of mine but I can see how he could be for others. It isn't like so many other celebrities where I just scratch my head and think people just fell for the publicity machine. But that's not what I why I brought him up. It's the negative things people are saying about him. I'm not talking about Rush Limbaugh's hate filled lunacy. He says outrageous hateful things because he's paid to say outrageous hateful things. I'm talking about the ordinary people who are vilifying Robin Williams for committing suicide, saying it was selfish or cowardly. Well yes it does hurt other people and it's a terrible thing to do. But it's not a rational decision. It's the affect of a disease, depression. I don�t have those urges at all but I have anxiety and I understand actions that are beyond a person's rational control. With me it more often involves not doing things that I should be doing but it amounts to the same thing. As much as I hate him I won't criticize Rush for being a drug addict, just for having no understanding or compassion for others in similar situations. They people who post that Robin Williams was selfish are being selfish. It is hurtful to so many people to read it and does no good. It isn't going to stop someone else from committing suicide. You want to get others to remember that other people care about them? Remind them that you care about them. When I posted about losing my job Katrina commented on how many people told me that they felt for me. I know people care. That's important.
I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.
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Horvendile August 15, 2014
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