I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
2000-11-13 - 01:10:10
No treatises today, no philosphical ramblings, no, theories of the world. Today its an actual diary entry.
I need love.
So here is how the day starts. I agreed to help a co-worker move today. She doesn't have a phone now so she was going to call to confirm, she wasn't sure she would be able to move today. She didn't call so I didn't go to meet her. I get a message on my machine then asking where I was. OK that wasn't good but she is not a close friend and I suspected this might happen.
Then I called Aubrey my best and oldest friend. We've been friends since 1971.I was the best man at his wedding and he'd be the best man at mine if a miracle occurred and I got married. He will never make plans in advance so I stopped trying. His idea is to call me and say "do you want to go to the movies? Diana (his wife) and I are going to see (fill in the blank) it starts in 15 minutes." I get no input on what to see and I usually have no time to get there. So I just try to call him up a few hours before I want to see him and see if he can make it.
I call today at 4PM and ask him if he wants to have dinner. He says yes that I should meet him at 6:30 at his house. He then calls at 5:50 and says he is at his parents how about meeting him there in 15 minutes. Typical. I say OK but it will be a bit later than that. I get there and I found out that he and his wife have all ready eaten. The I spent the evening talking to his wife, father, son, and nephew. Everyone but him. I told him I couldn't spend a lot of time too since I had to mark tests. Then the kids were acting up and I had to put up with that. Finally they had to leave because their son was overtired and I said I had to go home to mark tests. As we were leaving his wife said I should come over more. Why? I try and this is the kind of thing that always happens. I never spend any quality time with him.
None of my friends ever act like they want to see me. OK not none but not enough. Right now Lisa is the only one I can really ask to do something with me and expect a yes answer. People don't seem to think that my company is worthwhile or that I deserve basic consideration. What happened today with Aubrey and the Co-Worker is what seems to happen to me all the time. A couple of years ago I had two fruheads were supposed to visit me from out of town. Both never bothered to let me know they weren't coming. Actually one of them did it twice. Once she was coming down for one show the other time to spend a week with me.
So if I sometimes get testy over breaking plans you know why. Its a real hot button for me.
OK that's it. Not very entertaining today I'm afraid.
I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.
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On The Road Again - May 26, 2018
Oliver the Three-Eyed Crow - May 25, 2018
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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 License.
Horvendile 2000-11-13
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