I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
-Bertrand Russell

What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell

June 13, 2013 - 11:15 a.m.

A Camel is a Horse Designed by a Committee

Where should I go with this? I'm still not in a good emotional state. My first stop yesterday was my PO Box. I found my Copper Ponies EP, Ring Them Bells. Go read the review I wrote on CD Baby. Is it wrong that I am proud of my writing? I am. I like the way I put words together. I like that I phrased that as "put words together.

After picking up the mail I went to my office and listened to it, wrote the review, and enjoyed a computer with smooth internet access. Not only that but I greatly prefer a desktop to a laptop. It is far more ergonomic.

I then forced myself to go to the Last Homely House West of the Mountains to get more of my stuff. That is something that should never happen. You should never have to force yourself to go someplace you love filled with people you love. I asked Celebrian if she could tell I was having an anxiety attack, she could. But that's only because she knew to look for it. I fooled everybody for years. I can turn it off to the outside world. Sometimes it's turned off inside too. That's a blessing. Right now I can't turn it off. That's because I'm writing about it.

When I got to what had been my room I collapsed. I didn't faint but I had to lie down and take a nap. I fell asleep immediately. I'm not sure if that's from emotional exhaustion or an escape mechanism.

I got my stuff, and this time got a hug from Celebrian. I needed that. Everyone was out when I left the day before. Hugs are even better than chocolate.

I trekked back to Spanish Harlem and was too tired to do what I planned, go shopping. That means I have to go out for breakfast. I so much prefer cooking myself. I went to the Burger Bar for dinner. It's another of the burger fries and shakes places that are proliferating. It was good. I loved the shake. There is nothing really special about Shake Shack. It's just the herd effect. It's popular because it's popular. I just read a great study. They put 48 songs online and offered them to the test subjects for free download after they listened to it once. There songs were ranked in order of their popularity. The rankings were honest for the first 750 downloads. then the divided the subjects into two groups. In the first the rankings were given honestly. In the second the ranking after 750 people were reversed but kept honest thereafter. So what happened? In the group where the rankings were reversed the songs that were the least popular became the most popular and visa versa. Being thought popular made them in reality popular. Quality doesnt out. It's largely a matter of luck.

The people getting formal showcases at NERFA were announced today and the contestants for the Falcon Ridge Emerging artists have been decided though not announced yet. As usual there are some people that I love chosen and some huge disappointments. That's going to happen no matter what method is used. It's hard to judge art. There's the classic evaluation of Fred Astaire's screen test; "Can't sing. Can't act. Balding. Can dance a little."

The one thing I would change in the process is to get rid of decision by committee. I'd much rather see someone that one person thinks is great rather than a bunch of people think is good. The way I'd organize any of these things is instead of making a four person committee have the four judges work alone. Then you essential have a sports team style draft. The judges choose in order an artist. Each one would compile a list of her favorites and when her turn came choose the top artist unchosen. The order would be reversed after each round. The Medicis did a better job of picking artists than any committee ever did. And yes I'm fantasizing about being a judge. I do get to essentially do that when booking the Budgiedome.

It worked. The anxiety totally went away while I was writing about music. Now that I'm done it's back. It's pouring outside and I have to go out if I want something to eat. I'm hungry and it's late. I think I better get in the shower, get dressed, and get something to eat. Should I go shopping in the rain? I'm not sure. I am sure that I should stop procrastinating and get moving. Tonight is John Platt's On Your Radar. I should have something simple to write about tomorrow.

I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.

Memories: Not that Horrid Song - May 29, 2018
Wise Madness is Now In Session - May 28, 2018
The NFL and the First Amendment - May 27, 2018
On The Road Again - May 26, 2018
Oliver the Three-Eyed Crow - May 25, 2018

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Horvendile June 13, 2013
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