I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
November 18, 2010 - 10:14 a.m.
It's Thursday and NERFA ended on Sunday so I guess it's time for me to start writing about my life since then. I'll be back to writing about NERFA later. No wonder I talk a lot, I have a lot to say.
Let's start with school. I had one of those moments that make teaching worthwhile on Monday. I was teaching the method of completing the square. After a student got something right I made some joke about the self-esteem of fractions and she spontaneously said how much getting it right helped her self-esteem. She was beaming. Now here's the thing, this was the student that was always worried about how I was going to grade things as opposed to what is right. The light bulb switched on and she discovered the real reason to learn, it gives joy. That's the most valuable thing I can teach anyone. It raised my self-esteem. It gave me joy.
On Tuesday night I didn't go out, I graded tests instead. I had them all ready for class on Wednesday. I don't know what's going on. My classes are doing well. In my morning class the median grade was 82; in my afternoon class, 77. Of course there were still frustrating students. One couldn't understand why what he wrote was wrong so he felt it was unfair for me to take points off. Oh and we are talking about one or two points.
Another student drove me nuts twice. I have told the class over and over again that they have to write the test in order. I even explained why. That I grade everyone's question 1, then everyone's question 2, and so on and I can't have to start hunting through the test book for the question. He wrote a question out of order and I missed it. It was the last question and he did it in the middle and I just didn't see it so of course I took off all the credit for it. When he pointed out that he did it I said I'd give him the credit but that for now on he should do the test in order. He complained that I didn't write that on the question page. I said, "I told the class many times." That wasn't good enough. It wasn't in print so he didn't matter.
Earlier in the class I was going over the test and as I turned to the board to do a question I saw that he was reading a text on his cell phone. I've also told them that wasn't allowed many times. As I turned to the board I said, "Someone is reading a text message. When I turn around I don't want to see the phone." I then spent some time doing the problem and when I turned around what did I see? He was looking at his cell phone. When I said to put it away he didn't. He just lowered it. This isn't a kid. This is an adult. How can someone be so oblivious? Does he not realize how bad this makes him look to me? Could he say any clearer, "I don't care what you think or say?"
After taking Monday and Tuesday off from music last night I was back in the swing of things. I went to see Red Molly and Girlyman at City Winery. I had told Laurie that I wanted to do merch at the show back when the show was announced in the spring. When I got there I wasn't on the guest list. Fortunately I saw Laurie and she didn't remember I was supposed to merch and Bill was doing it. Don't worry, this was a good thing. Laurie asked the management to put me on the list and I got a decent house seat. So I got to watch the show in comfort with a group of Molly's friends and not have any merch duties.
Before the show and during the break I hung out with Meg Braun and Lyndon. Meg is in the Macro Class of friends. Friends I write about so often that I wrote a macro to insert a link their websites. She works with Lyndon at the Christopher Street Coffeehouse. He doesn't just run the coffeehouse but he is also the minister at the church. He lets this atheist say, "Some of my best friends are clergymen." OK that's a plural and he's one person but once Gella's a rabbi and Melissa's a cantor it will be true.
Where was I? Oh yeah, the concert. I felt a bit bad that I couldn't sit with Meg and Lyndon or as I usually do at a Red Molly shows with Chris and Gene and Isabel. Oh and I dressed up all pretty, in my black ninja outfit and my white tie. I was wearing the black anyway for school and I wore the tie because I knew Chris would have his camera and he took what will be my new Facebook profile photo. Abbie and Laurie, my makeover consultants approved of the look.
I have a confession to make. I don't love Girlyman. I like them but they don't connect with me. This was a long show and I hit the wall and got bored. The crowd was going wild and that made me feel alienated. I did my best to fight the feeling. They did a harmony sing-along and I sang along enthusiastically, much more so than most of the audience. Why do I call it a confession? Lots of people whose tastes I really confess love Girlyman. I'm the outlier here. But my taste is my taste and it just doesn't excite me. They have beautiful harmonies but they don't take me to the places that We're About 9 or The Roches do. Their lyrics don't set my mind racing. I also feel bad because I like them as people. C'est la vie.
After the show I got to talk to Red Molly for the first time in ages. Well actually I talked to Molly during Girlyman's set because she joined her friends at my table. But this was my first time talking to Abbie and Laurie since their extended road trip that included going to Alaska. I told them about NERFA and how Lynn Miles introduced Black Flowers by saying, "You might know this song from the beautiful version that Red Molly did," I knew that would make them happy. It did.
Am I incapable of writing an entry of less than a thousand words now? I used to do it all the time.
The plan for today is to go shopping for the first time in two weeks. When I got home from NERFA I found that my milk had gone bad. Yuck. I'll have to load up on perishables. Tonight I'm off to the aforementioned Christopher Street Coffeehouse to see Friction Farm's NERFA Decompression Party.
I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.
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Horvendile November 18, 2010
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