I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
2002-02-28 - 1:44 a.m.
I got a google hit for "Bernie Rocks" yesterday. I posted about that on theDa Vinci's Notebook Yahoo Club and included a link to the entry where I said "Bernie Rocks." I got 17 hits from that posting. I have to resist making gratuitous postings on other clubs and groups now just to boost the ratings. I have to remember I'm not a TV network I have scruples about what I'll do for ratings. Of course if everyone reading this sent a link to my diary to five of their friends and if each of them sent the link to five more ...
I really need to get a life. Does anyone have an extra they aren't using?
I finished marking the tests this morning; the average grade was just over 60. There was a zero and a one. Those people were not regular attendees in class. To balance that out there was a 100 and a 99. All in all I think the test worked out pretty well. I gave it back to them to correct and they should be able to boost the class average up over 70.
One girl came up to me and said she missed the test. I told them in the beginning of the semester that if they have to miss a test they should email me or call the office. She did neither. She says she was sick but provided no proof. I don't really know her; she is not someone who speaks up in class. As a rule I don't give make-up tests, they are a lot of work and are not really fair to everyone else. I told her I'd decide what to do on Monday. That I'd either give her a test then or tell her she can't make it up. I won't give her a zero I'll just not count the test. What do you think I should do? Email me and let me know.
After class I did my usual mad dash home to see my father. The plan today was for me to wait for my mother to get home and then use her return-parking pass so I wouldn't have to pay the $6 for parking. She got home late today, about 6PM. She was going to stay till 5 when he was supposed to go to dialysis but they bumped it to 8 PM. I'm glad they did or I wouldn't have been able to see him for the second time this week.
While I was there his new roommate, the annoying robot was discharged, coded. His heart didn't stop beating but his blood oxygen level dropped to 24%, it is supposed to be 100%. He turned blue and they couldn't wake him. When upping his Oxygen didn't bring him back they called in the team with the crash cart to revive him. To allow easy access for all the people they wheeled my father's bed out of the room into the hall. I had to leave the room too of course, as did his roommate's girlfriend. His roommate is only 32 years old. I don't know what is wrong with him but he was on Phenobarbital and it sound like he had a bad reaction to it. His girlfriend was so frightened. I kept debating whether I should talk to her and try to comfort her. I decided not to because I had never seen her before today and hadn't spoken to her at all. I'm feeling sort of bad about not trying to help. I have no idea what I could have said though. A nurse took care of her and I felt better when I saw that. I kept my father company as they took him on a tour of his floor trying to get him to an out of the way place where he could stay till we could go back in the room. It all came out OK in the end, they revived him and he was even hungry when we got back to the room. My father said he seemed strong and active all day so this whole thing was a bit of a surprise. By the time we got back in the room it was 7:50 so I knew that they'd be coming for my father soon. When they did I asked if he could go down in a wheelchair instead of a gurney. He was feeling stronger and thought that would be more comfortable. They said yes and last I saw of him they were wheeling him in his chair to dialysis.
When I was leaving the building something happened that made me feel good. At the exit there is a regular door and a revolving door. I always try to use revolving doors when it is an option as it saves on heat in the winter and AC in the summer. It is the environmentally friendly thing to do. In front of me was a mother with a young daughter, perhaps six years old. They started going out the regular door but the daughter asked if they could go out the revolving door. They did and I followed them. When they got out the daughter said with great enthusiasm, "That was so cool!" I loved that. People think of things like that as the innocence of the child. I think that's backwards. She has the awareness that other's lack to see that it is cool. The world has many wonders that we just need the wit to perceive.
This is weird something came up today that reminded me of something that I had been meaning to write about. I forgot what triggered my memory but I remember the topic. I was talking about it with Gella on Friday night. In society and there are some ideas that are so prevalent that it becomes uncomfortable to speak out against them, people will treat you like a pariah if you do. Sometimes in a subculture it is the opposite opinion that is the norm and can't be refuted. The same thing happens with people. There are people that you dare not speak against and others that you dare not speak for. I will often speak up for the pariahs but even I who pride myself on not going with the crowd won't speak against the heroes without a really good reason to back it up. This kind of situation is always trouble. This is how ideas become dogma. People will never hear the opposite opinion so it will die out. Soon no one questions the accepted wisdom. There really isn't much we can do about it but it always makes me feel awkward.
I'll give one example, there aren't too many people I feel I can tell that I'm sick of hearing God Bless America to. Alan and I say it to ourselves because we both knew the other felt the same way without asking. We are both very sensitive to religion being forced on the public. I of course also object to the song, it isn't very good. I apologize to Irving Berlin but it's not. There are plenty of other patriotic songs, why did it become THE song to play after 9/11. The Star Spangled Banner is actually quite apropos.
I'll give a second example; In a crowd I used to run with there was one guy that everyone thought was the greatest thing since toast. My friends thought that he was shallow and a phony. He was high on our list of potential serial killers. He'd make a perfect sociopath, outwardly charming but with no real consideration of others. We didn't dare say this to anyone else though.
There is an upside to all this. When you do find the person that goes against the crowd and trusts you to bring it up to you or that you trust enough to speak about it with it's a bonding experience. The first time that Carey , Lawrence , and myself got together Carey and I were so happy that he brought up several things that we often talked about ourselves but wouldn't say to other people. I'm sure you've all had experiences like that and know how good it feels. You just want to say, "That was so cool!"
I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.
Memories: Not that Horrid Song - May 29, 2018
Wise Madness is Now In Session - May 28, 2018
The NFL and the First Amendment - May 27, 2018
On The Road Again - May 26, 2018
Oliver the Three-Eyed Crow - May 25, 2018
creative commons
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 License.
Horvendile 2002-02-28
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