I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
2002-03-01 - 1:27 a.m.
I got nervous at the start of class today, only about half the people were there. The rest showed up in a few minutes though. I spent almost the entire time going over homework today so I didn't get to teach related rates which I was looking forward to. I might write out some problems this weekend to hand out on Monday so this could be a blessing in disguise.
I was complaining that I have nothing planned this weekend but it isn't true. I'm playing bridge all day Friday; it's the Long Island Regional. On Sunday I'm going to the Knick Game. So it comes down to me not having plans for Saturday. I'm sure I'll find something to do.
My father's insurance said they wouldn't cover the rehab, that is ridiculous and we are appealing. He can't walk, how can they say he doesn't need it? I think they know they will lose but hope to discourage us. It is really a horrible system. They try to take advantage of people who have so many other things on their minds. I'm not going to start a rant on the health care system though. Let's just say that Canada does a better job of it than we do.
I really wasted tonight. I called Carey and after that didn't do much at all. Oh well I can't always be productive. I did print out convention cards for Roy and myself for the bridge tournament, he's been getting after me to do that for months.
I got to call Leah from school today. I used to talk to her several times a week; I miss that. She's going through a tough time, send her good thoughts.
I'm not going to stretch this out tonight so I'll add one stupid thing. I'm addicted to FreeCell. Since I've gotten this computer in June of 2000 I've played 1206 games of it. I played it on the old computer too. I always flirt with winning 82% of the games. When I got sick I played quite a bit when I wasn't my best and it fell to 78%. Today I got it back to almost exactly 82%; I am a bit over that. I shouldn't care about that but I do. Now despite the fact that it has always hovered near 82% I always feel that I can really do better and that freak events bring my average down. I now have a chance to prove it. Let's see if I can bring it up to 83%.
One more thing before I go. I came up with a theory that Carey is really Jewish and just pretends to be Irish to attract the Jewish guys. I based that on the fact that this diary entry of Gella's was totally written in Carey's style; a fact that Carey admits to. In it she says she wants to be a Rabbi so I think that clinches it. The theory sounds bizarre but it reminds me of a true story. When I was teaching at Queens College there was someone named Sami Beraha in the math department. He wasn't a teacher and he wasn't a student. He was sort of a wight that haunted the department. When I was a dungeons and dragons dungeon master I made him an undead creature. Sami was something of a mathematician and a lot of other things too. He used to catch unaware people and tell them all about Beraha numbers. . He is also the only terrorist I ever knew. He was a member of the Stern Gang, a Zionist terrorist group that that operated in Palestine before independence. He told me such delightful things as that if a Christian's house is burning on the Sabbath you shouldn't try to save his life. He also told me this story. He paid to have sex with a prostitute. When they got up to her room and she started undressing he saw that she was wearing a Star of David. He then beat her up because a Jewish girl shouldn't be doing something like that. After the beating he listened to her and found out that she wasn't Jewish, that she just wore the Mogen David to seem more exotic to the gentile men. On how many levels is that story wrong? It involves antigentilism, male chauvinism, violence, double standards and so much more. Not only did he do that but he told the story as something to be proud of.
I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.
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creative commons
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 License.
Horvendile 2002-03-01
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