I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
2002-03-20 - 11:04 a.m.
My last entry was under construction much of yesterday, if when you looked the photo's overlapped or went over the text, look again.
I spent a huge about of time preparing that entry, most of the morning and the evening before too. I love writing about my friends, I love attempting to be artistic, and I love playing with html so I couldn't resist.
When I finished and got offline I got some bad news though. They think there might be something wrong with my father's spleen. He's in lots of pain; at first they thought it was a blood clot from an injection. The pain kept getting worse though so they performed an ultrasound yesterday. Today we'll get the results. I hope it is just a clot and the pain is the worst of it. He is supposed to come home a week from Friday. If it's the spleen all bets are off. He'll probably have to go back to the hospital.
It is so tempting to say it's not fair. That he's gone through enough. That my family has gone through enough. I won't say it though. Who ever said the world was fair? Was it fair to the people who died in the WTC? Was it fair to the people of Bosnia? To the six million? No, so why should anyone expect it to be fair for anyone?
This all fit in with what I wanted to write about anyway. You might have noticed that I'm somewhat pugnacious. I spoil for a good fight. I have strong opinions and I argue for them. I try to fight for good causes. In my heart I'm a knight errant. I know that I end up just being an over opinionated curmudgeon but I do the best I can.
When the doctor told me that I had cancer he said he'd knew I'd get through it because I'm a fighter. I think he actually got that part wrong. That was something I had to accept not fight.
.
GOD, grant me the serenityTo accept the things
I cannot change,
Courage to change the
Things I can, and the
Wisdom to know the difference
That's part of the Serenity Prayer. I usually don't like things like that but this one is true. When people tell me to accept things because that's the way the world works I think they are usually wrong. Nothing is written in stone when it comes to people. They can be stupid, arrogant, selfish, and even evil. They can also be kind, generous, intelligent, and most important of all they can change. It is always worthwhile to make the effort. I often exhort people on these pages to be better. I know there is very little chance of it making a difference. I still think that perhaps I can influence someone just a bit, a tiny bit. Then that person might influence someone else a tiny bit. As the wave of influence spreads it might reach someone with more powers of persuasion than me and influence people a lot. Not likely but you never know.
Now when it comes to something like cancer the important thing for myself was to accept it. The fighting was really done by the doctors. There wasn't much I could do. I do what I can of course but that is the easy part. I find it easy to accept the natural world. I know that I can't do anything about it. I can't change my biology, or the weather, or the laws of physics. That stuff just happens. Considering what my life's been like I think I'm lucky. I can accept the stuff I really need to.
I do have trouble accepting some things with people that I should. Whining really doesn't make people want to spend more time with you. I can show you the data on my research if you like.
Even though people can change it never pays to expect them to. If there is a cause of friction between you and someone else if you want it to be removed you better figure on making the change in yourself. That isn't to say that you can't tell someone that something bothers you. Sometimes it isn't a big deal and they'll stop doing it. You just can't count on it. Most of the problems I have with my mother are centered on her trying to change me. What I have to realize is that I have to accept that I can't change that about her.
Everyone has their quirks that get on your nerves. I think of it as the cost of doing business with that person. If the person is worth the cost then you live with it. I'm glad that there are people that are willing to pay the cost of doing business with me. It's pretty high.
I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.
Memories: Not that Horrid Song - May 29, 2018
Wise Madness is Now In Session - May 28, 2018
The NFL and the First Amendment - May 27, 2018
On The Road Again - May 26, 2018
Oliver the Three-Eyed Crow - May 25, 2018
creative commons
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 License.
Horvendile 2002-03-20
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