I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
-Bertrand Russell

What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell

February 20, 2013 - 11:43 a.m.

Lie Detector Club

I'm going to organize this in the backward order than feels natural to me for the benefit of My Less Regular Gentle Readers who want to hear about the fun stuff not the inner workings of my psyche.

Yesterday was therapy. I usually have it on Mondays but it was moved to Tuesday because of the holiday. The only reason I could make it was because my school did the same thing and followed Monday's schedule on Tuesday. I guess I should save the psychologist session for the psyche section of the entry. That would make sense,

I eschewed my usual post therapy fun food, what I call my therapy food, to race down to Joe's Pub to get tickets to see Polygraph Lounge, the show was last night. Why didn't have my tickets already? That's part of the psyche thing. If this were anyone but me I'd be disappointed that he wasn't punished for waiting so long. I got one of the best seats in the house, the center counter seat. Everyone who bought tickets had chosen tables. Of course most seats at Joe's Pub are great since they reconfigured it.

After I bought the ticket I got some fun food. I went to Crif dogs. I went for cheap this time, two regular crif dogs, tater tots, and a red birch beer for $8 plus tax. I don't think I've reviewed crif dogs I'll have to do that.

Then I went back to Joe's Pub for dessert. There is a $12 minimum so I had a dessert and coffee. This is the dessert.

That is a chocolate malt in juice glass. Can you see the scale from the cookies? It was great and cute but not exactly filling or a bargain.

Now for the music. Who is Polygraph Lounge? Years ago, probably 10, I told Pete Kennedy about some weird band, perhaps the Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players and he told me about Polygraph Lounge. They later did a show with the TFS. I associate the two. They are Rob Schwimmer and Mark Stewart two insanely talented session musicians or is that musically talented insane people? They are both. As Polygraph lounge they play hysterically funny songs and all sorts of bizarre instruments. So yes there is a Theremin. And they give their audience nose flutes. There is a lot of Peter Schickele in their act. Throw in some weird Al. But remember they are virtuoso musicians. Who have they played with: This is from their website:

Individually they have worked with Paul Simon, Wayne Shorter, Steve Reich, Laurie Anderson, Bang on a Can, Stevie Wonder, Annette Peacock, Antonio Carlos Jobim, Willie Nelson, Anthony Braxton, Kurt Vonnegut, Eliot Feld, Fred Frith, Sam Rivers, Burt Bacharach, Muddy Waters, Alwin Nikolai, Vernon Reid, John Cale, Sammy Davis Jr., Hanson, Bette Midler, Adam Guettel, Queen Latifah, as well as Simon and Garfunkel (collectively).

Polygraph Lounge is what they do when their keepers aren't looking

That's a photo of them with the aforementioned Pete Schickele aka PDQ Bach. .

They had two shows last night the first kid friendly and the second adults only. I went to the Kid's show for two reasons. First I never saw one of their kid's shows and secondly it was earlier so more convenient. They always seem like big kids to me so it seemed like a match made in heaven. It isn't like their adult shows are risqu, there is some "adult" material but it isn't what sticks in my mind. I figured that it would be like an adult show minus some innuendo. I was wrong. It was an almost totally different show. It was like some of those great episodes of "Disney's Wonderful World of Color" that I watched when I was a kid. They probably did too. They taught the kids about music and instruments. Just look at the stage and you'll see that kids would love it.

Mark on the baseball bat trumpet

Rob on the Theremin

Mark also played the didgeridoo, conch shell, and plumbing saxophone but those pics didn't come out. I was thinking how great it would be to have them come to a school. Carey would love to have them come to her preschool class. She could impress them by saying how she was conducted by Peter Schickele. As I was thinking about Carey they sang "Barbara Ann." You might not think so but Carey and I know that's funny. Sometimes the jokes aren't meant for you.

What surprised me was that they were more Disney than Warner Brothers. In their adult shows they are subversive like WB. Well OK when they did the "Siren Song" a song accompanied by a car alarm, they do make a monotheistic guilt joke. It's the one song played in their adult shows too.

I love kid's shows when they are done right and this was done right. I was laughing and singing and dancing along and you really shouldn't be allowed to have so much fun.

OK now for my psyche.

As soon as I heard about the show I thought of asking Marti to go with me. I did. She said she'd have to see if she could make it. I thought there would be time pressure getting tickets so I was a bit nervous about waiting. I obviously didn't have to be. She did get back to me and the anxiety struck. I couldn't for the life of me open her email. I talked about it with my therapist two weeks ago and said I would read it that night. I couldn't. I couldn't the next night. And then I started feeling guilty about not getting right back to her. That made it worse. She wrote me again and I felt even more anxious. The day last week when I couldn't move because of anxiety was triggered by that. I finally wrote her last night when I got home and profusely apologized. I felt so bad. I want so much to see Marti. I hardly ever do. We went ten years without seeing each other till we reconnected this summer. And here I went and screwed this up. I felt so guilty. I still feel guilty. I hope she can forgive me.

What causes these attacks? I'll tell you, I don't know. My therapists thinks, without evidence, that there are discoverable causes. I think it more likely that it like the weather, a complex system whose detailed behavior is so sensitive to tiny changes in condition that it is unpredictable, the butterfly effect.

I have no school today but I have to go to school to get some work done. I wanted to do it yesterday but didn't leave early enough to get it done before therapy. In fact I was almost late to therapy. I got involved talking to Arwen. We always make each other late. It's Elven magic.

Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
Late to Bed and Late to Rise - September 30, 2017
On Your Feet or On Your Knees - September 29, 2017
Why Life Doesn't End on Closing Day - September 28, 2017
Anna and King of I Am - September 27, 2017

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Horvendile February 20, 2013
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