I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
-Bertrand Russell

What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell

July 19, 2013 - 10:38 a.m.

Beauty and the Beasts

It is my birthday. Somebody make the anxiety go away. I have to read emails and listen to voice messages and haven't been able to. I often joke that it isn't easy being me but sometimes it's true.

I'm 56. What is the first thing you think of when you hear 56. For me there is only one answer, Joe DiMaggio's hitting streak. Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio?

Last night to beat the heat, get out of the house, and get my mind off my anxiety I went to the movies. So you know how for years I have said I need to go to the movies more Now I am. Take a guess what I saw. This wasn't like when I saw the The Lone Ranger. This was a thought through choice. Here's a hint it might surprise you. Pick your movie before you read on. Got it? Good. I saw .drum roll Pacific Rim! Why? Paul Krugman loved it and it was directed by Guillermo del Toro. I obsessed over Pan's Labyrinth and loved Hellboy. So when he makes a movie about giant robots fighting giant monsters I go see it.

Here it was the big summer blockbuster action movie. I thought it was stupid right? I hated it right? I'm going to tear it to pieces right? Krugman said the film was great fun but he wasn't sure it was great art. Krugman was wrong It is great art. The premise that the earth is invaded by monsters that come straight out of a Toho movie and humanity builds giant robots with human pilots to fight them sounds like a Saturday morning cartoon. I knew I wasn't going to be worried about credibility or realism. But here's the thing, other than the premise the movie was credible and realistic. It didn't have people acting like idiots. It wasn't done with a smarmy tongue in cheek. Sure it had humor but it played it straight. I cared about the characters. The scientists were dorky but not idiots. Everyone else didn't know better than them.

I don't know how del Toro does it but he makes ridiculous premises like Hellboy and Pacific Rim work. The heroes are actually heroic. They are willing to make sacrifices. They suffer but not as melodrama. There aren't embarrassing personal stories. The characters are too busy fighting monsters.

The 3-D left a bit to be desired. There were times that he seemed to forget he was filming in three dimensions. Occasionally the action during the fight scenes are hard to follow. There's a lot of movement and you aren't quite sure what it is what. Perhaps that's what he is trying to do. That's what real action IS like. So yes this is the big summer movie you should see. See it in 3D IMax. You want to be in the movie.

As much as I love it and as much as I love Hellboy I wish he'd do something like Pan's Labyrinth. Pacific Rim was great art but Pan's Labyrinth was great high art; one of the best films I ever saw, a classic. He should aim higher, he has the talent to reach the pinnacle.

It took me forever to get home. I forgot that the doesnt run late nights so I needed the . The Fastest thing to do was to take the to Atlantic Terminal and switch there. Instead I went to the seventh avenue line and only discovered my error then so I had to take the and switch at one of several stops in Brooklyn. Something was wrong and I had to wait half an hour for a .

I didn't see anyone I know yesterday so nobody will think I am writing about her so I can discuss a topic that's awkward, beautiful women. I said the other day that I know Carey's taste in men better than my taste in women. There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to it. When it comes to movie stars and such that's not true. My taste is quite conventional and unsophisticated, I like what I once read described as sticks with tits. Think Jennifer Love Hewitt. I do. But that has almost nothing to do with my taste in real life. It's not that I don't like well endowed thin women but I like so much more; tall and short, thick and thin. Off the top of my head I can think of three women that have body image issues thinking they are too fat that I have a strong visceral attraction for,

And strong visceral attraction is the very reason I had to wait for a day when I didn't see any women that I know. Just because my hormones are triggered when I see someone doesnt mean that's how I think about a woman but I'm always afraid that they might think so. I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable around me. So I'll throw out compliments but usually as a tangent, If I'm writing here I'll say the lovely Lisanne or the beautiful Betty (you noticed that I illiterate my sobriquets). I might say "You look beautiful today" or "you're looking too good for radio." But it is never direct.

Something else I noticed recently. I've always disliked society's preference for blonds. I think it is rooted in ethnic prejudice. Blonds are so much more common in Northern Europeans than other groups. Too often I've heard men heaping praise over a not so attractive woman just because he's blond. So I put up a higher standard for blonds or so I say to myself. But thinking back over the women I've had a thing for there have been a disproportionate number of blonds. What's that about? Of course my theory is random chance. It is way too small a sample size to have meaning.

OK so now on to my birthday. I have to sets of plans with the same person. We have to finalize which one. It is weather dependent. It's so hot I think I'm going for indoors. So here's my anxiety. I am afraid that one of my unread emails or unheard messages is the person I have plans with canceling. That's part of my special birthday anxiety. I had two birthdays ruined since I started writing this by busted plans with friends. it wasn't a matter of cancelling it was a matter of them screwing up meeting me. So both times I was just left there waiting in vain for someone that never showed up.

One more thing. All those Happy Birthdays on my Facebook timeline are wonderful. Thank you.

Interesting confluence of events. I just got a happy birthday from one of the most beautiful women I know.





Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
Late to Bed and Late to Rise - September 30, 2017
On Your Feet or On Your Knees - September 29, 2017
Why Life Doesn't End on Closing Day - September 28, 2017
Anna and King of I Am - September 27, 2017



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Horvendile July 19, 2013
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