I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
November 05, 2012 - 11:47 p.m.
I let today slip buy and now it is 11:15 pm and I haven't updated. I do have an excuse; I had a Crohn's disease attack Sunday. I went shopping at Trader Joe's then planned to eat breakfast and spend a short time at home then go to Pathmark for more post Sandy restocking. I grabbed a bagel with peanut butter from Murray's Bagels on the way there so I wasn't particularly hungry when I got back. I ended up falling asleep at the computer. I woke up and made my bacon and eggs then fell asleep again. Then I went out to Pathmark but by then it was dark.
The train was still not running on eighth avenue below 34th street so I walked over to sixth. The walk there was fun, I practiced waltzing. No I wasn't actually dancing. I was practicing the moving my feet to the Waltz tempo, the song? Long Island Cowboy by Abbie Gardner. After talking to many people about dancing the night before I realized that for me to internalize a waltz I had to think of the count not as 1-2-3 but as 1-2-3 4-5-6. That way my left foot is always starting on 1. It was late enough that I figured I'd have dinner out but realized I wasn't hungry. That was actually the second sign I was sick. The first occurred when I was getting dressed. I was wearing a spring jacket (my only jacket) over a heavy Mets' hoodie, the kind where the pockets connect. I call it a kangaroo pouch. I felt something in the pouch and didn't know what it was. I unzipped the jacket and found that what I felt was my hernia, it was my intestines sticking out. It doesn't get hard unless there is food under pressure in them. That's pretty much what Crohn's attack is. My intestines get blocked and pressure builds up. But as I didn't feel any discomfort I thought I was OK,.
When I got to the store I found it was closed! I didn't feel stupid as I saw someone trying to get in, she must have arrived shortly before me. Then 30 seconds after I arrived a woman showed up and she was surprised it was closed too.
On the walk back to the subway I lost the spring in my step. On the train I started feeling sick. By the time I was home I was in a full fledged attack. I felt miserable I took 20 mg of prednisone and laid down. I ended up laying down most of the evening. When I had to get up to urinate I got whatever else I needed, water, acetaminophen, and warm blankets.
I managed to all Lisa up to wish her a belated happy birthday but I couldn't talk for long. I collapsed and stayed in a state between sleeping and awaking. I nodded in and out. Finally the prednisone kicked in and I started to have to run to the bathroom. the blockage passed and my intestines started emptying themselves, As soon as that happened I started to feel better. That's what ending an attack is, the food starts flowing through the intestines. Around 10:30 I called Lori. I felt strong enough to talk and needed someone to talk to
It's pretty amazing that I had to come up with this cure for a Crohn's attack on my own. I had always noticed that as soon as I started taking prednisone I'd start feeling better. Taking 20 mg at a time works faster and better than taking smaller doses more often. I had a doctor who said that prednisone takes weeks to work so if I felt better it was a coincidence. That's nuts. I've taken it for other things and it works almost instantly. When I take the 20 mg the inflammation decreases the intestinal passage enlarges and the food flows.
then as I slept so much of the day I had trouble sleeping at night. I also kept running to the bathroom. For most people it would be the worst diarrhea attack of their life. For me it was a relief. It meant I was getting better.
I went into school today for the first time since Sandy. I'm going to have to cut things out as we missed three classes and there are only two makeup dates and I will have missed two days for personal reasons. So what did I do today? I covered a topic I said I'd skip, completing the square. I couldn't resist. I need it to derive the quadratic formula and I decided that I wanted to cover that even with the time pressure.
After class I made up a quiz and did some prep. Then when I went to leave I found that my ski cap was missing. I have no other warm hats. I also have no warm outerwear, it's all in storage. I decided to stop at the Salvation Army, it's across the street from my apartment. I didn't find a hat but I got a beautiful and warm camel hair coat for $20.
I went back to the apartment and played on the computer for a bit then went out on another attempt to go to Pathmark. I failed again. This time I stopped at Marshall's first looking for a hat. I also found a scarf that's a great match for the coat. the top of the coat doesn't button so I need to wear a scarf. That is all mini-Hagrid's fault. She said it was meant to be worn with a scarf. But that isn't what I mean. It's living with a woman. I'm impressionable. It made me buy something because it matched something I owned. I don't think that way normally. It's as bad as when hanging out with Red Molly got me talking about hair product.
I then went to the bank to deposit my check. That is still a major accomplishment for me. Then I grabbed dinner. Then it was late and went home.
So that's my day. Not much happened but it took me 1,028 words to say it I never got to the things I had planned to talk about. But now I'm tired and should get to sleep. Tomorrow I'll go to Pathmark and I'll vote. Maybe I'll get a pic of me in my new coat.
Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
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