I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
2002-04-11 - 10:53 a.m.
I had today's entry all planned out. I worked on it quite a bit last night and was ready to just knock it off this morning. I just hit a snag though. The entry involves a link to something I put on another website and I just found out I have to await approval. So now I have to wing it today.
We have so much cake and pastry in the house that I decided to bring some of the excess to school. I left it in the math office. On Monday I avoided people at school. Yesterday I talked to Anna, the administrative assistant and Meryle the Chairman of the department. They were really nice and supportive, as I knew they would be.
Class didn't go great yesterday though better than it did on Monday. I'm not really sure that they are doing their homework. All they had to do was some integrals for yesterday. It was just repeating formulae on many of the problems. There is no way they could possibly get them wrong if they made an effort. In class I wrote on the board a list of integrals that they had to memorize including the integral of sec(x)tan(x) = sec(x). That was also a question on the homework. While I don't expect everyone to have that memorized overnight I expect them to be able to look at the list of seven integrals that I gave them and expect them to read it off it. I don't think everyone did.
After class I had an uncomfortable bit with Julius, my office mate. Julius is an unusually nice person, I really like him. When I was sick he took over my classes for free. I'd have been in big financial trouble if he didn't. He went into an anti-abortion rant. As you might have guessed I'm strongly pro-choice. He was talking about how an abortion doctor killed someone during an abortion. He didn't mean deliberately just as a complication of the abortion. I pointed out that like all medical procedures that it entails risk but that it is actually far safer than giving birth. I shouldn't have bothered. He was against abortion for other reasons and that fact was irrelevant. I almost didn't say anything but I didn't want him to think that my silence meant that I agreed with him.
After class I was going to go online but someone was using the computer. Speaking of which somebody deleted my favorite places on the computer at school. Why would someone do that? I put them back and put them in a file with my name on it. The computer is shared by everyone in the office but I think I use it the most. I am the only one who takes care of it too. I provided the mouse pad and positioned it so that it is easy to use. I am also the only one that turns it off like you are supposed to.
On the way out I ran into one of my students from last semester. She went over to me and told me that I was the nicest teacher in the school.
After class I decided to walk back to Penn Station. I used to do that quite a bit but after my father got sick I had to try and get home faster. It was a beautiful day and I really enjoyed the walk.
Tonight I'm seeing EFO at the Bowery Ballroom. I'm meeting Gella , Kat, and Shelly for dinner first. We are eating at Peanut Butter and Company. Good friends, good band, and good peanut butter. That makes for a good day. I think I'll walk all the way down to Greenwich Village too. It looks like a really nice day.
Joy said the nicest thing about me the other day: She said that I live my life with gusto. It's the kind of thing I always would always like to think about myself but doubt is true.
We each have two selves. There is the public self that the world actually gets to see. It never comes out quite like we'd like. It is a flawed echo of our platonic ideal. That is the other self, the intended edition, which has not had to suffer the wear and tear of actually existing. My intended edition does live life with gusto. I didn't think that it came through on the floor model though.
I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.
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The NFL and the First Amendment - May 27, 2018
On The Road Again - May 26, 2018
Oliver the Three-Eyed Crow - May 25, 2018
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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 License.
Horvendile 2002-04-11
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