I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
-Bertrand Russell

What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell

February 15, 2014 - 11:45 a.m.

Of Kristins and Critters

I'm feeling pretty good this morning. I could analyze why or I could just blog about my day. As soon as I wrote that anxiety starting creeping in so blog about my day is the winner!

Yesterday was long and size does matter. I woke up at 4:23, yes I'm the kind of person that figures out to set his alarm at 4:23 not 4:20 or 4:25. I went up to WfUV to volunteer. I stayed there till 12:30 then took the Ram Van to the Lincoln Center campus around the corner from my school. When I checked my PO Box which is on the way I found the book I ordered, The Wise Man's Fear: The Kingkiller Chronicle: Day Two but not the shoes I ordered earlier. I thought maybe it was in the back and I never got my notice. That happened before where I got a package and wasn't notified. I asked someone who worked there if she could check. She said that if I had a package I'd get a notice. I told her that I got a package recently without a notice and could she please check She kept saying that it can't be, that I get a notice if there's a package. The fact that I didn't get a notice once just couldn't register with her. It was impossible so it didn't happen. I just tracked the package. It was delivered yesterday. It was there. I'll pick it up on Tuesday. I need those shoes.

I am trying something new in Precalculus. I never like the way that course goes. It covers too much material and the students get lost. So I'm going to cut out lots of material and teach slower. I just want them to know the things you really need for calculus. I hope it works out. They did terrible on the first quiz. I gave another one yesterday. I left it it school so I can't grade it. I hate doing that.

I had an awkward amount of time to fill after school. I finish at 3:30 and had a house concert in Red Hook at 8:00. Now that seems fine but it takes me about an hour to get home and near an hour to get from home to the concert and I wanted to write an eat dinner. Going home meant an extra hour commuting. I stayed in school to write, as I like working on my desktop. And by the time I was finished it was after five. So I would have gotten home around six. cooked dinner, then headed straight out. Instead I ate at Hog Pit New York. I haven't done that in a while. Since I started cooking again what I have cut out is fast food. That's a good thing.

As I said the concert was in Red Hook. You know the expression, "You can't get there from here?" That's about Red Hook. There is just no easy way to get there. it's like Appel Farm. It is 55 minute away from everyplace There's an H.P. Lovecraft story, "the Horror at Red Hook." It was about his xenophobia. It should be about how hard it is to get there. But they do have great music and one of my favorite house concert series, The House of Love. Amy just does it right. It's as far from being a business as you can get. It's friendly. My crowd doesn't go there but I still fit in. My crowd should go there. Thanks to Google Maps I got t here just as door opened but as there were people there before me I'm sure they let people in as they arrived. I did NOT grab a set down front. I took an easy chair. I can't resist a comfort.

Oh I guess I should tell you who was playing, It was Kristin Andreassen and Critter aka Chris Eldridge of the Punch Brothers. Chris has been going with Kristin just about as long as I've known her. He's played with her before but I never heard her call him anything but Critter. I have seen the Punch Brothers but was not close enough to recognize him. And here's the thing, Kristin has never introduced us. I talk to her every show. I've sold her merch. I think it's deliberate. She is afraid I'll steal Critter from her. So not only does she think I'm gay but she's trying to thwart my love life. If that's the effect I have on women no wonder I never have a Valentine. I'm devilishly handsome with a soul like an angel so it needs an explanation. It can't be become of my lack of modesty.

After slogging through a Kristin desert I'm now seeing and therefore writing about her quite often. That is of course a very good thing. She rates her own macro to insert a link to her homepage. Kristin is a singular songwriter. I can tell a song is hers immediately. I just can't for the life of me figure out how. I'm pretty sure it's the lyrics but I wouldn't bet the farm on that. What matters is that there is nobody similar. If you want to hear the kind of music she makes you have to listen to Kristin. This was the first time I heard Chris do a song solo and sing lead on songs. I already knew he could get a guitar to reveal its soul. They were joined by Stephanie Coleman on fiddle, Dietrich Strauss on trumpet, and Aoife O'Donovan on vocals and guitar. I wouldn't know any of these people without Aoife. She was the only one there other than Kristin that I know well. I met Aoife at Falcon Ridge ten years ago this July. At least that's the first time I saw her perform with Crooked Still. I didn't get friendly with her for another few years. But through her I met Kristin from their trio Sometymes Why, Ruthy Unger is the third member. I knew Ruthy from the Mammals. So perhaps I could have met Kristin even if I didn't know Aoife. But I still consider this part of the Crooked Still universe. Oh and I know Stephanie through Kristin.

I hear a lot of music so when I say this was a special night it means something. It's just February but this will be one of the highlights of the year. That I can hear such amazing music in somebody's living room is a miracle. That I can be friends with people that can make such music is incomprehensible. I'm like Forrest Gump showing up at the right place at the right time.

As I said I didn't know anyone there other than the performers but as usual I made friends. I sat by Ariana, Critter's cousin. I thought she looked familiar, We have been to some of the same shows. So I met Chris's cousin before I met Chris. After the show I corrected that and introduced myself to him as I've given up on Kristin doing it. I told him my first name and he knew my last. That always scares me. Why would anyone have heard of me? I think the NSA keeps asking people around me.

So what is with me an paranoia jokes this week? Amy has a dog that I played with quite a bit last time I was there. This time he kept walking right by me and didn't stop when I tried to pet him? I told someone that I think he was doing it as a deliberate snub. She said that I should talk to my therapist about that. My therapist? The dog should talk to his therapist about his obvious acting out. He has issues.

Imagine if I hadn't taken the mental health day the day before.

I used my phone to see exactly when the next bus was coming so I wouldn't have to wait for it outside. I kept careful track. I knew when it was 0.6 miles away. And then I started saying goodbye to Amy. And I became my mother's son. I couldn't get myself to leave. Finally I did. I ran out the door. I ran to the bus stop, the bus had just left. It was late so I went back to the house to wait. At least this time I could make proper goodbyes to Kristin and Ariana. I gave myself more of a cushion when I went for the next bus and was there five minutes early. I was joined by two other people from the concert, Michael and the woman whose name I was sure I would remember. But I don't. I thought I'd forget his name. I talked to them the entire bus ride. Intellectually I know that I'm good at mixing with strangers but inside I still dont feel that way. I walk into a room with strangers and I feel intimidated. I decided that I can't honestly say I'm shy but I still have that fear of talking to people. I just overcompensate. And yes I'm always afraid I talk to much. I totally hear you say, "Yes you do."

Luckily nobody asked the bus to stop on the way back so we got back to Fulton Mall very fast. I couldn't believe we had reached the last stop. I got home around 12:30. I left home at 4:50 AM so it was a long day. Not that I went right to sleep of course.

Tonight I have a musical double header so I'll be on the run again. That's good it stops me from thinking about the things I don't want to think about. Now to make breakfast French toast is on the menu.

I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.

Memories: Not that Horrid Song - May 29, 2018
Wise Madness is Now In Session - May 28, 2018
The NFL and the First Amendment - May 27, 2018
On The Road Again - May 26, 2018
Oliver the Three-Eyed Crow - May 25, 2018

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Horvendile February 15, 2014
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