I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
-Bertrand Russell

What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell

December 14, 2013 - 12:57 p.m.

How To Sleep in a Stormy Brain

I don't really want to write about yesterday because it was basically about existential angst, thats where depression and anxiety meet, fall in love, and have lots of children, that run around my psyche breaking things. So I decided to just say that and write the rest of the blog as if that weren't so.

First something from the day before when I was actually feeling good and reading Witches Abroad a Discworld book. I even made a note about this on my phone. Then I forgot to include it in yesterday's entry. "Discworld is real in a way that reality could never quite get the hang of. "

It took me forever to get some traction and get moving yesterday, well duh. I didn't make it to Trader Joe's or doing laundry. I finally managed to get to school around 4 PM and finish preparing my final. I had almost finished writing it the night before. I had to write two more questions, easy ones, then get it formatted properly, print it out, take it to find errors, correct the errors, print out enough for the class. Print out graph paper, collate it, and stuff them in blue exam books. Good thing I took it, I caught four errors I had to change. I was proud of myself for being good and doing all that. This way I don't have to keep telling students to make changes on the test as they take it. I had my usual fun with the word problems. One question was about a Dalek and a Cyberman destroying a city. On the last test I wrote this question.

It takes Phineas two hours longer than Ferb to make a robot platypus. If Phineas works for 7 hours alone then Ferb and he work together another 2 hours they can make 2 robot platypuses. How long would it take each of them working alone?

Because I didn't want to have to explain latin plurals I wrote platypuses not the correct platypodes. Platypodes just sound great. There actually is no generally recognized correct plural of platypus. Yes I've researched this. So I say be pedantic in the name of euphony. If each of you uses platypodes and gets two friends to use platypodes it will become the generally recognized correct plural.

I finished too late to get to the Museum of American Folk Art for the Free Music Fridays so I grabbed a quick dinner at Steak and Shake. I had an encounter with some thoughless people. There's a counter right by the food pick up that I like to sit out. If I'm at the closest seat when my buzzer goes off telling me that my food is ready I don't even have to get up and leave my stuff at my seat. I can just sit there and get my order. There was a woman sitting there with two guys that were standing but I saw they were getting ready to go. I stood there, next to the chair clearly waiting for it and she hangs around talking to the guys while keeping her bag on the chair so I can't sit. But that's not the worst. They all left their garbage on the counter. I had to throw it out for them. I was standing right there. They saw me sit down, but wouldn't pick up their trash.

After dinner I headed down to Two Moon Caf for the Second Friday Series hosted by Carolann Solebello and Bev Grant. The second Friday of each mother Carolann, Bev and Ina May Wool, and a guest artist do a show. It is always on my calendar but most months are busy with something or other or too tired or having an anxiety attack. This month I know my attack would be helped if I went and spent time with friends. There was not a big crowd and it was an intimate show. I wish I wasn't so distracted by my issues. Carolann did some songs she hasn't performed live before that I loved even if they weren't Ironman. Bev did a cover of Jean Rohe's Arise! Arise!. I'm being lazy and not checking the punctuation on that. There were actually two guests, Orly Bendavid and Julia Klot. Why did I think that Orly would be a man? Is it because her last name means son of David? Because I thought of the Paris airport and airports are masculine? No because I'm an idiot. Julia is a 13-year-old girl that lives in the neighborhood and sounds like she could have a future in music. She writes her own songs.

I didn't just have friends onstage Katherine was in the audience with me.

After the show Carolann gave me a drive to Atlantic Center. Because I couldn't get myself out of the house all day I had to stop at Pathmark and get eggs. They are much cheaper at Trader Joe's but I needed them for breakfast this morning. Then I headed home.

When I went to sleep I tried to fill my water bottle in the kitchen sink and couldn't because there was no cold water. I filled it up as best I can in the bathroom. There is not enough room to hold it vertically there so I can't fill it all the way up. I texted the landlady and told her. It was not an emergency. But then after I went to sleep, at 2 AM, I heard someone walk up the stairs and go to the kitchen. Then I heard the person go to the landlady's door, it's right by mine, and pound on it. Can you believe she woke her at 2 AM for that? And the landlady, who is a lovely woman, has two small children.

Fortunately no matter how many things the children of anxiety and depression break I can almost always fall right asleep. I woke up in the middle of the night and did some major spoon bending. I got myself seeing things in a better light. Unfortunately I'm an idiot and forgot it. When I got out of bed to go to the bathroom I saw that the middle of the night was 7:30, when I wake up for school. Well it felt like the middle of the night and I was able to sleep another couple of hours.

So my plan was to not write any of this but list my favorite albums of the year. I'm still going to do that. This is not going to be a best albums of the year thing. I no longer buy albums not at shows though I get some from WfUV. Mainly I have albums by musicians that I see live. I'm also not going to count. This is just a list of some, not all of the albums that I loved that were released in 2013. I learned my lesson a few years from< a few years ago when I left off Spuyten Duyvil's "Niew Amsterdam" because I didn't have the release date entered in the database. I didn't include some EPs that I loved. So here are bunch of albums that you should buy and listen to.

  • Another Life/Another Live - ilyAIMY
  • A Celt in the Cotton Club - Tara O'Grady
  • Child Ballads - Anas Mitchell & Jefferson Hamer
  • The Goat - Round Mountain
  • How to Sleep in a Stormy Boat/Same Old Storm - Amy Speace
  • It's All Good - Deni Bonet (I might have listed this last year as I had it but the official release was 2013}
  • Steel and Salt - Carolann Solebello
  • Tales from the Forgotten Kingdom; Ladino Songs Renewed - The Guy Mendilow Band
  • Temptation - Spuyten Duyvil

As for my favorite album of the year, that was clear, the eponymous Jean Rohe and the End of the World Show. If you didn't know that you have not been paying attention.

I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.

Memories: Not that Horrid Song - May 29, 2018
Wise Madness is Now In Session - May 28, 2018
The NFL and the First Amendment - May 27, 2018
On The Road Again - May 26, 2018
Oliver the Three-Eyed Crow - May 25, 2018

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Horvendile December 14, 2013
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