I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
October 13, 2016 - 11:50 a.m.
Interesting, I slept late but I'm starting to write this close to my normal time as I've wasted far less time online than usual. I figured I'd eat before posting but now I'll write first. I'm pretty sure the earlier I post this the more people read it.
OK My Gentle Readers, here's a test. What do I do on Wednesdays? I always see the same hands. Wednesday is Prince Spaghetti Day. No it isn't. It's therapy day. But as a side note, know how I say I don't like pasta? I decided that's not true. It's not my first choice but if that's all there is to eat I'll eat it. OK now back to Therapy Day. Jane was busy but Bernie drove me to the MetroNorth station. I was spinning my wheels, I'm not exactly sure how, and left later than I feel comfortable. The upshot is that I made the train with only a few minutes to spare. To make it I had to put my coffee in a travel mug and take it with me. It's not like I would do without coffee. As promised I had bacon and eggs for Yom Kippur breakfast and that needs coffee with it.
Therapy went smashingly. She is now also acting as my case worker. I had scary snail mail to deal with. She didn't let me put it off. First thing she did was ask me if I brought it. Then she opened it. then she read it to me. Then she made the scary phone call for me. I had to describe what I was feeling at each step. She wanted to see how I physically reacted. I didn't know that my skin flushed. I observed what was going on inside me. That was interesting. I get outside myself by observing what's going on inside myself. It gives perspective. Have I mentioned that I love my therapist? I have homework. Finding an ophthalmologist that takes Medicaid to perform my cataract surgery. I want to be able to see again. This is not easy for me.
Because of the train schedule I always arrive at therapy early. Sometimes she takes me early so I sit in the waiting room. Yesterday there was a Donald Trump rally playing on the TV. That is not good for my mental health. That is not good for anyone's mental health. It was a poor choice by whoever in the office decides what station to play. I'd prefer it if there were no TV on. I can then read or listen to my music in peace.
After therapy I took the bus back to the train station. Once again thanks to schedules I have a lot of time to kill. That's how a 45-minute appointment ends up taking all afternoon. I rewarded myself for doing well in therapy by getting ice cream at Carvel. It's also how I console myself for doing poorly in therapy. Hey I don't do it every week. Some weeks I go to Dunkin' Donuts.
When I arrived at the New Rochelle Station I did my new routine of going to Stop & Shop. I love being able to shop at a real supermarket. I especially liked it yesterday as I planned on making dinner for Bernie and Jane. I made my specialty that I have not made since I left Brooklyn, sweet garlic chicken. I was lucky, chicken breasts were on sale. We had the other ingredients at home but now I need to get more garlic. I also got corn on the cob.
I had better timing than usual with the buses home. Yes, it's buses from the train that I need a bus to get to. This is a food, commuting, therapy edition of Wise Madness.
Know what's better than eating a delicious meal that you made yourself? Sharing a delicious meal that you made yourself with people you love. How am I single? It might be that being cute in a spiny anteater sort of way thing. The chicken came out perfect. Next time I make it I used a little more garlic.
I froze three chicken breasts and I also have thighs in the freezer. I have a food supply. I have to make sure to eat home more often.
I'm finally hooked on Stranger Things It took me to the sixth episode. Winona Ryder is still annoying and I still get mad at the characters for being jerks but Eleven pretty much makes up for it all. I don't remember the boys' names but I like them too. There was one didn't but he came around and apologized to El so now I'm fine with him. I will admit it. I like watching TV. I like having TV to look forward to.
I'm hungry now so I'm not going to write about politics or whatever is in my ideas bin. Sausageeggandcheese on a bagel beckons me. Maybe I'll have it on an English Muffin. They had buy one get two free at Stop & Shop so I have a lot of English muffins. I haven't even finished the ones from Stop & Shop yet.
One thing my therapist has me doing is being mindful when I eat. I'm supposed to examine every sensation. That is therapy that I don't find difficult. It's what I do. I can conjure up the taste of the chicken and corn from last night. I'll savor every bite of breakfast. Give it a try; it makes life better.
I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.
Memories: Not that Horrid Song - May 29, 2018
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