I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
-Bertrand Russell

What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell

November 03, 2011 - 12:06 p.m.

Theobromatic for the People

What am I going to write about today? I've thought about many things but which will find their way on to the page? It's odd that I'm writing this and I don't know. Hey that's something else I'm thinking about.

My two classes could not be more different. I enjoy teaching the Tech Math class and have a report with them. Not coincidentally I've given up maintaining an air of dignity. Once you've dressed as a platypus that's pretty much impossible. Yesterday I was making Star Trek communicator noises. They key is that I always take the subject matter seriously, just not myself. If I'm having fun the students will learn better. I just have to be sure that it doesn't become a distraction.

Calculus class is getting a bit better but it's heavy going. The students don't want to be there but as I said that I won't count the disastrous first test if they shape up some are trying to do better. One student said to me, "I'm understanding better now that I'm paying attention." That can be classified under, "Well duh." I can't afford to lose my dignity in this class. They are looking for any excuse to not do the work. I think I might have actually got them interested yesterday. I taught them integration by parts. Sometimes the answers seem to appear out of nowhere as if by magic. That always gets me excited and it least got a smile out of a few of them.

I ran into one of my old students yesterday and she wanted to know if I'm teaching Calculus 2 next semester when she's taking it. I love that she wants to be in my class. That's the best validation of my teaching.

I had another bad night's sleep. I'm not used to that anymore. It used to be common but now I usually fall right asleep and sleep through the night. I found myself watching one of my favorite episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Lie to Me" at 3 AM. Back before Joss Whedon gave up direct control of the show it made you think about important things. Last night it made me think about the peace in the Middle East and how the obstacles to peace are not deep seated ancestral hatreds but exactly the same obstacles that are stopping Europe and the United States come to grip with their economic problems. The people trying to solve things are people. They don't want to think about complex truths. They prefer the simple lies. Let the confidence fairy solve the economy. We can get everything we want if we just show we are strong. Everything we want is vital; what they want isn't. We can't accept anything that isn't perfect, except of course the status quo. Too bad that after asking to hear the lies they don't say "liar" like Buffy does.

But that's not what I'm here to talk to you about. How did I relax after getting worked up over that? My religion. "You're religion? You don't have a religion? You're an atheist!" I do have a religion now. Have as in ownership. LORi and I invented it on our way up to Canada. It's our latest plan to become zillionaires and save the world while we are at it. So sit back My Gentle Readers and learn the path to salvation. I'm going to win you over by the third word.

We worship CHOCOLATE!. Do I even need to say any more? I know that most of you are now saying, "So do I!" We are Theobromatics, from the genus of the cocoa tree, theobroma cacao the source of chocolate. It means appropriately enough "food of the gods."

Our first theological discussion was if chocolate is god. Lori suggested it was because any sentence you say about god you can say about chocolate; god is good, chocolate is good, god is love, chocolate is love. I pointed out that you can't say "chocolate hates fags." No chocolate is chocolate, what we worship, we'll leave the theological fine points the consciences of the individual worshipers.

Which ritual do you think has more appeal; Eating a tasteless wafer and drinking bad wine or eating a chocolate truffle and drinking a hot chocolate? Don't bother to answer. We all know. Chocolate makes you feel good. Chocolate makes you happy. Chocolate gives you a warm feeling inside. Your body produces the same chemicals when you are love that are released when you eat chocolate.

Just think of the baptismal chocolate fountains. You are sold aren't you?

I've already explained Peace Through Chocolate. That will now be an organ of the religion. You may refer to chocolate as the bringer of peace.

We are a religion with a broad principles, dark, milk, and white. We don't discriminate against anyone. We have the chocolate for you. Like bacon in your chocolate? Chili peppers? It's all good. It's chocolate, of course it is good.

You want to expiate your sins? Make a sacrifice of chocolate. There's a lot of sin so there will be a lot of chocolate for Peace Through Chocolate.

How does this make us zillionaires? I'm here to preach the gospel, not our business plan. Let's just say that there's something of a markup when the chocolate is consecrated.

There are still details to work out. We were talking temples, like the Parthenon made of white chocolate but that's not fixed in stone, I mean chocolate.

Do you want to be a communicant? In the clergy? A major donator? Let us know.

Now I'm going to make breakfast but first I'm going to have some chocolate.


I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.





Memories: Not that Horrid Song - May 29, 2018
Wise Madness is Now In Session - May 28, 2018
The NFL and the First Amendment - May 27, 2018
On The Road Again - May 26, 2018
Oliver the Three-Eyed Crow - May 25, 2018



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Horvendile November 03, 2011
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