I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
-Bertrand Russell

What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell

September 06, 2013 - 3:12 p.m.

Dancing In The Streets

OK I'm dropping what I'm doing on the Internet to write this. That is how much I love My Gentle Readers. So you might want to actually read this.

I'm starting to feel a bit more like myself It's not so much that I'm happier but I'm doing a better job of fighting back against unhappiness. No matter what I look like to the outside world the real me is a swashbuckler. When I'm unhappy I fight back no matter the odds. Like Cyrano I relish the chance to fight 100 men on the bridge. "The fewer men, the greater share of honour. God's will! I pray thee, wish not one man more." When I'm depressed I lack the will to fight back. That's when I say I'm not myself. When I'm right in the head, I might not win but I won't accept the situation. This is pretty much what goes on inside me.

So how did I take arms against a sea of trouble? I went dancing of course. I had a conundrum of what to do last night. Rachel Ries is leaving Brooklyn and gave her farewell show in New York at the Living Room. Not only that but she promised homemade donuts! I love Rachel and I love donuts. At exactly the same time a few blocks away Jesse Terry was playing backed by Craig Akin and Abbie Gardner. Not only would I get my music fix but I knew I'd have a lot of friends in the audience in addition to the three on the stage. I thought of seeing half of one show and half of the other. But then Tarry O'Grady announced that she was doing Dancing Under the Stars on the sidewalks of Park Slope. I decided to go to that without realizing it was the same day as the other two shows. By the time my phone reminded me it was too late to get to the City. So being an idiot made the decision for me. Not that it was in any way the wrong decision. I wouldn't be passively listening, I'd be dancing.

I actually left a little late and Tara had started by the time I got there. Im sure it was just the first song. She was playing with her band right on the corner of 4th Street and 5th Avenue. I heard her from a block or two away. It was Tara, a sax player, bass, and Justin Poindexter from Amigos Band on guitar.

I failed to get up the nerve to ask someone to go with me but somehow I can always manage to get myself to ask strange women to dance once Im there. Unlike the last time I saw Tara play there were single woman, or women with men who didn't want to dance. I danced with four different women, all experienced dancers. The first was something of a disaster. I am not a good dancer. I don't really get swing dancing yet. It doesn't come naturally to me. But I do know one thing about partner dancing; you give your partner your full attention. While you are dancing your partner is the most important thing in the world. She never looked me in the eyes. The very first thing I ever learned in dance was, "keep focused on your partner's eyes." She looked around, perhaps for someone better to dance with. The second partner was better but she still made it clear that she was making a sacrifice dancing with me. The last two that I danced with repeatedly were great. They were also experienced good dancers but they had fun even when dancing with someone with two left feet. OK I'm not actually that good. Someone with a left foot and a wooden leg. But they laughed and we danced and they helped me and I had a ball. And of course was does "having a ball" mean? Having as much fun as you do dancing.

So here's a tip for all you guys that don't dance. Neither can any other guys at these things. All he woman can dance and none of the men can other than the instructor. So the division is between those that aren't afraid to dance and those that do. So me, the guy with the severe anxiety disorder, the one that couldn't find the nerve to ask a friend to go with him, finds the never to dance with lovely woman. And any women you dance with is lovely. Maybe that's the secret, a good partner is one that thinks you're lovely too. I actually felt that I was "bloody adorable" as Carey put it. I like feeling bloody adorable. I'm all too often simply bloody.

Tara is passing a tough test. I've seen her three times in less than a month and have not lost interest. In fact I've gained. I want to see another concert set, one with more songs from her second album, Good Things Come to Those Who Wait. I'm patient I can wait for it.

I got so involved writing this that I was late for my class. I hate that. I want to set a good example.

Here we are the second day of class and one student reads a text and goes right outside the room and talks on the phone for half an hour. Another student got up and didn't come back for about the same. I hate caring more than the students do. They don't even realize that it's wrong.

So now what do I do. I need to buy some shirts before Monday but it's Friday and I have nothing to do so I want to go to Free Music Fridays at the American Folk Art Museum. The performers today are the Four O'Clock Flowers. I saw them once before and liked them quite a bit. I had to check my blog to remember that. I have a few hours, to kill if I do that but no place around here I want to shirt shop. I guess I could go then shop afterward. Till then a walk in the park would be good.
That sounds like a plan.

I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.

Memories: Not that Horrid Song - May 29, 2018
Wise Madness is Now In Session - May 28, 2018
The NFL and the First Amendment - May 27, 2018
On The Road Again - May 26, 2018
Oliver the Three-Eyed Crow - May 25, 2018

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Horvendile September 06, 2013
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