I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
-Bertrand Russell

What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell

June 12, 2014 - 11:56 a.m.

Tara Ra-ra-boom-de-ay

Horror of horrors I have no eggs in the house and will have to have cold cereal for breakfast. I can see you shudder at the thought. But I am made of sterner stuff and will forbear.

Yesterday I went to a swing dance! How could I resist the Terrific Tara O'Grady was playing 15 minutes away from me at the Brooklyn Public Library, 5 stops on the . Thanks to Tara and Herb Gardner I swing dance. Once again I didn't have a date. But I did ask lovely women to join me. They just couldn't make it. One went so far as to be in Michigan to get out of it. But I went anyway and I danced anyway. When did I become someone that could go up to strange women and ask them to dance? And the thing is I'm not a good dancer. And not only that but some of the experienced swing dancers let me know that in a not nice way. But I persevere and enjoy myself. I think aliens take over my brain when I'm at a dance. I would never have the nerve to do that otherwise. I like dancing with the people that aren't good. I can let them know that the secret is to not care if you are good and that as long as you feel the music you are doing it right. I got two dances from one lightly experienced woman who was still way better than me. She was fun too.

I got there early and talked with Tara and some of the guys in the band. While we were talking I heard a crash. Tara was facing me so she saw it.

The Yellow one is a City cab that can cruise anywhere. the Green ones can only pick up passengers in the outer boroughs. They are new. The yellow one clearly tried to make a right turn from the left lane and cut off the Green one. I thought there might be a fight but there wasn't. Two fire engines eventually came while the dance lesson was going on. That seemed a bit excessive.

Yes there was a dance lesson so once again I learned the basic moves. I learned a new one, the sweetheart. I'm slowly building up my repertoire. I am pretty sure that dancing is one of those things that I'll never be good at no matter how much I practice. The same goes for most sports and music. I have practiced both of those quite a bit and I'm still bad. I still enjoy them. I have to take up playing an instrument again. I have to dance more. I will accept competence, I don't need to be good.

As much as I enjoy it is more fun when I'm with a partner. The one time I had one, Renita, who is a great dancer, I had the best time. This was my fifth time dancing in the last year and a half. Twice to Herb, and three times to Tara.

I always enjoy Tara whether I'm dancing or sitting in my seat. She's known for playing Irish music and making it swing. But that's not all she does. Her best album is original songs she recorded in Nashville. But that doesn't have the hook so it gets the least attention.

I took some pics on the walk from the subway because Grand Army Plaza is pretty.

I didn't take too many pictures at the dance because I was either dancing or scouting out women to ask to dance. But I did get a few.

Arturo Perez The dance instructor

Tara has style

I took one video of the dancing.

You didn't expect that. I saw the dog dancing earlier but I was dancing so I couldn't video. I was glad he danced again.

I met two friends at the show. Richard who I expected as he's Tara's photographer, and Morse who I didn't expect. I know him from WfUV volunteering. I knew one other person there, Tara's friend Sarah. I thought she looked familiar and couldn't place her. I hate ot having a brain.

After the dance I was going to go shopping but I couldnt resist eating at the Vanderbilt which is right in the neighborhood. That's why I have no eggs. This time I ordered the cheddar bratwurst. That was great. It is an official favorite restaurant of mine now. And of course afterward I went to Ample Hills Creamery for ice cream. I know how to live.

I have therapy today and she's going to be proud of me. When I was unhappy I did things to make myself happy. I pretty much always do that but this week it worked. It all comes down to that last quote at the top of the page. I seek the exquisite wonderfulness I can get even if it's not the exquisite wonderfulness I most want.

Oh and I wrote a poem. I have been having trouble doing that. I should never have trouble writing. Writing is one of the things I do get good at through practice. It's short and that's what to do when you are stuck. Just write what you can write. I wrote this on the way home the night before then lost it when I stopped to talk to the landlady about the cops stopping a car right in front of our house. Yesterday I was able to recreate it. I think it's very me.


A half and a half makes a whole.
But this half and a half just make two halves.
But when this half and a half are added together
The hole is halved and more bearable.
Now off to my terrible suffering cold breakfast.

I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.

Memories: Not that Horrid Song - May 29, 2018
Wise Madness is Now In Session - May 28, 2018
The NFL and the First Amendment - May 27, 2018
On The Road Again - May 26, 2018
Oliver the Three-Eyed Crow - May 25, 2018

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Horvendile June 12, 2014
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