I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
November 02, 2013 - 12:33 p.m.
Wow I totally shifted my sleep schedule last night. I was up till after 2:30 and up at 10:20. I don't do that anymore. But it's the best night's sleep I've had in ages. I'm a natural night owl but the rest of my life works better when I go to sleep and wake up earlier.
OK so now you expect me to write something. I want a raise. I wish I remember the whole thing but Carey and I heard Steve Post do this amazing rant on his radio program, The No Show centered on his complaining, "Now they want me to be a DJ." I aspire to that level of neuro. O that a man's reach should exceed his grasp or what's a heaven for?
So remember I told you that my school had mailed my check to my old address in Queens? I found out yesterday it was cashed! I'm furious with everybody. It triggered a huge anxiety attack. I couldn't sit in school anymore after that. I checked my mailbox and I hadn't gotten this week's check. If they mailed it to my old address I'm going to go postal. So now I was in a hyper anxiety attack. The timing was a bit awkward but I went to dinner. I needed a good one and went to Hog Pit New York for the chicken fried steak. What did they bring out? Chicken fried chicken. I sent it back. What did they bring out? Chicken fried chicken. I think it was the same chicken fried chicken. When things go bad they go bad. I kept forgetting to charge my phone at school. so I took at my pocket charger and guess what. It was dead. I had forgotten to recharge it. The one good thing is they didn't charge me for my soda and they gave me a refill.
Then I headed to Penn Station to take a train to see Spuyten Duyvil at the Garden Stage. I got there earlier than I originally planned as I got antsy from the anxiety. Good thing I did. I arrived just a couple of minutes before the train two before the one I had planned on taking was to leave. When I saw the lines on the ticket machines I knew I'd miss that. So I figured I'd leave the train that left 18 minutes before the one I planned. That was good as I'm doing merch and like to get there before doors open. I could always keep myself busy grading tests. Remember I gave a test yesterday.
The ticket system is so much better at Grand Central Station for Metro North. The machines are in separate rooms and there's one line for all the machines in that room. So there's no "getting on the slow line." So yes I got on the slow line. I was almost at the machine and it was a couple of minutes before the train left. The interface is not very intuitive so people often are a bit slow with them. And then some people are bit thick and that slows it down even more. And there are the people like the woman two spots in front of me. After waiting on the line for 20 minutes she gets to the machine, says what ticket she needs, is told what it will cost, and only then realized that they expected her to pay for it. At least that's when she started to look through her bag for her wallet. I was two spots behind her and I already had my credit card in my hand and my wallet was in my pocket. I didn't want to waste time. It took her about two minutes to get her credit card out. And I missed my train by less than a minute.
I was talking to Fred about what is going on with a person like that. Is it a matter of intelligent? Fred thinks it's about not being organized. After we talked I came up with the hypothesis it's about living in the perpetual present. They just never think ahead. I spent my life visualizing what I'm going to do. They don't, at least not as much.
I have students that are that way. I see it grading the test. the start a question at the bottom of a page when there clearly is not enough room to finish it, If it is going to a facing page that's OK but not when it's on the other side of the sheet. Then you have to go back and forth copying what you wrote and the reader has to do the same thing. I sometimes say they have no sense of space but I think this is probably write. They just start writing without thinking abut what's going to follow.
That fits in with my new mission when teaching. Getting students to spend some time thinking about a problem before they start it so as to find the best way to tack it. Most don't do that. If there are several ways to tackle a question they will do the one they use the most often not the easiest method for that particular prolem.
I've been thinking recently that I don't suffer fools gladly. I get mad even when it doesn�t directly affect me. I hate when people don't understand the WfUV question of the day. Or when they get it but can't think of a song and say, "I know this songs doesn't fit the question but it sort of has something to do with it." If the topic was dogs they might pick a song about a little brother. "I used to play with my brother like other kids played with their dog."
Wow almost a thousand words in and I haven't even gotten on the train.
I graded tests on the train but it was a bit difficult because I had to switch trains at Jamaica. I wouldn't have if I had made the train I wanted to. Grrrrrrr.
I ended up being able to grade the first three questions on the train rides so I'm 20% done. The train was a bit late but that just meant I doors had just opened. Fred was of course already there. He had grabbed a seat and I grabbed the one next to him. When Gene came in he joined us.
Spuyten Duyvil always puts on a great show. They have it all musicianship, energy, and pizzazz. There music is still clearly evolving. They could so be one of the folk groups that became rockers in the 60s. They were so good that my anxiety faded into the background, They are also good friends. It's hard for me to not enjoy myself with them.
The merch table was very busy during the break. I enlisted Fred to do what I always have a friend do for me at the Garden Stage, buy my chocolate trifle and coffee as I'm stuck behind the merch table I only go there for the trifle. It is homemade and amazing. The music is a bonus.
The timing worked out. After the show I sold more merch and hung out with the band then walked over to the train station a block away. I should have only had to wait three minutes but the train was a bit late.
When I got home I plugged in my phone. It was totally dead. I went online and saw on Facebook that Christine Lavin had been trying to reach me. She needed math help. She ended up posting on Facebook and other people were able to answer her question and I just confirmed it. Most days my phone is just for amusement but If I can't use it then I need it for communication. It's always something.
OK now I have to make brunch. I have another busy day ahead of me.
I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.
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Horvendile November 02, 2013
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