I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
March 22, 2018 - 3:00 p.m.
I was listening to political call-in talk radio and realized something obvious. You know how you are never supposed to read the comments? Call-in radio is nothing but the comments. When reading the comments or listening to people that call in they key to keeping your sanity is to realize that the respondents are not an unbiased cross-section of the population. It's a safe space for people whose opinions are ridiculed because they are ridiculous. I'm not saying that all or even most of their opinions are ridiculous but that people with ridiculous opinions are over-represented. It doesn't have to be politics; the same thing happens in sports talk. It happened on the Tolkien newsgroup I frequented in the 90s. I still get mad thinking about this one guy on the group.
I stayed in yesterday and got nothing done. I'm thinking of getting things done and feel the anxiety rising. That is part of what it is like to be me. I better change the topic, or I'll be anxious.
I took advantage of the cold weather to make myself a hot chocolate with marshmallows. That rates high as a mental health food. I will repeat my recommendation of Swiss Miss Simply Chocolate mix. It is the by far the best inexpensive hot chocolate mix. It is made with real milk. When I was a kid that was something of a pain as you had to heat it in a pot, be careful to not overcook it and then be careful when you poured it. Now I just put 8 oz in a measuring cup and pop it in the microwave for 2 minutes. I know it's spring now, but you'll still have opportunities to drink it this year. Buy some store brand mini-marshmallows and toss some into the cup and you have a dose of happiness.
I'm watching the second season of Jessica Jones it's superhero noir. Jessica lives in the same milieu as Sam Spade and Phillip Marlowe while she is darker than either. It is as much a story of a person coping with severe mental health problems as it is an adventure. There I a scene at her court-ordered anger management class where she gives the litany of ways that live has screwed her over; her anger grows as she proceeds. What makes it work is that through the depression, anger, self-loathing, and alcoholism, as much as she denies it she's a good person that can't help herself from helping people. Marvel heroes have always been known for the emotional issues but hers are more understandable and at the core of her being.
I was going to write something from my ideas bin; it's about a specific musician but applies to many. The problem is that it's not expandable. What I wrote in my notes was, "For god's sake vary your tempo. Attack of the drones!" If you listen to a lot of music you know exactly what I mean. You'd think it would be obvious to try and vary your songs, but it isn't. This was triggered by hearing a musician where every song and every part of every song sounded alike. You might be able to get away with that if you were writing brilliant lyrics, this musician didn't. One song was introduced as "My silliest song." I'd rate it at 75 millipythons; that should require no explanation. Silliness is a virtue.
I'm going to go back to not dealing with my current lethargy. That's the problem with lethargy, it's self-reinforcing. Unlike Jessica I'm not going to let that grow into self-loathing. This is what happens when I go almost two weeks without therapy. I want to end with something silly and inventive. I view myself as silly and inventive; that's part of why I don't loath myself. If I were on Facebook now I would find something to riff on. It's tougher to be silly ex nihilo. I got it. I won't be silly, but I'll be inventive. One of my talents is the ability to write haikus quickly. I'm going to look out my window and tell you what I see in 17 syllables.
Potter's Field island,
I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.
Memories: Not that Horrid Song - May 29, 2018
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