I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
April 28, 2015 - 11:30 a.m.
I'm tempted to get very meta today. I discussed with my therapist that no matter how I feel I can always get myself to write Wise Madness. Yesterday here I discussed how I backed into writing. That is actually what I'm doing now. Even if I don’t know where it's going I can start with solid facts and see where my mind wanders
Yesterday was a tough therapy session as I'm having a tough time. There's always a battle between taking the easy way and confronting my issues. I have to do a bit of both. I sometimes back into therapy too. I am trying to learn to back into life when needed.
After therapy I went to the bagel store and was crushed. They had no salt bagels. I can't eat bagels with seeds and plain bagels are boring and garlic is tasty but not combined with many things so I just didn’t buy bagels. They are half-priced on Mondays so it's the only day I get them. I'll have to make do without when I run out of what I have.
Then I went up to my PO box and all that was there was a card to "resident." Ugh. My next stop was food shopping. I needed food for the week and I went for comfort food .I got both hot dogs and mac and cheese. Here's the thing, mac and cheese doesn't remind me of childhood. I didn't like it as a kid. It's pasta. I don't like pasta. But a few weeks ago I was someplace and that's all there was to eat so I tried some and found I liked it. How did that happen? It's not like I haven't try pasta many times. It isn’t something that makes me feel nauseous but I never like the texture. But mac and cheese is fine. Live and learn. It's also very cheap.
For dinner I had for me the ultimate comfort dinner, hot dogs and fries. I never make fries but I felt my psyche needed it. I was right. It did make me feel better. And latter I made myself a peanut butter sandwich. I'm lucky I'm not fat as food is my go to thing when I'm stressed.
I tried to get more comfort from J.R.R. Tolkien. I watched The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug on my computer. At least I started to watch it. It's a crime against humanity. The Lord of the Rings is mythic and grand. The Hobbit is charming. Jackson removed all the charm. It gets everything wrong. I love the chapter about Beorn. It is one of Tolkien's respites. There is the comic introduction and then just appreciating Beorn's wonderful lifestyle. And there's mystery. Even Gandalf doesn't know Beorn's origins. But that all goes out the window in the film. He doesn't even get how Beorn dressed right.
They expanded one short book into three long films and yet some of the best parts are cut out. Why? The journey through Mirkwood is all about the slow despair building so that eventually they get so desperate they leave the path. But in the film they just get lost for no reason.
I finally gave up when it ruined their escape from the Elf King's palace. What are orcs doing attacking? That was it for me. This was not a film based on the book. This was a film ripping off lovers of the book.
So then I moved on to Game of Thrones. I fell asleep during it. I'll try again. I have a feeling I'm never going to get into the series. Sort of how I feel about the Mets. I know they are winning but I still am very skeptical about them getting into the Series.
I edited my photos from Meg's Farewell show. I posted them on Facebook but I'll give a link to them on Picasa here.
I am considering weighing in on what's happening in Baltimore. I have so many friends that live in the area. I take it personally. I will but I'll keep it short. What people have to avoid is the thinking that goes, "forget __________ _____________ _________ it's all about ___________________." I read that too often. None of it justifies any of the rest but it's all interrelated. So here's my suggestion. Take a break from changing the subject. Let people talk about the thing that is bothering them and not say, but what about ____________?" It's possible for many sides to all be wrong. One specific though. The rioters are not the protesters. The protesters are not defending the rioters. The rioting is done by criminal gangs taking advantage of the situation.
OK that was short and I didn't pontificate or make believe I know what's "really" going on. I'll take it.
I'm going to let you go without telling you about the new religion I'm working on. It's not a spoof like the Flying Spaghetti Monster. OK I'm writing myself a note. I know how I want to write about it. I'll make that a future entry.
Now I'm going to make breakfast. Which is it today? Bacon and eggs or a sausage omelet? I'll find out soon.
I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.
Memories: Not that Horrid Song - May 29, 2018
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