I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
June 03, 2012 - 9:19 a.m.
I'm in starbucks and I can't get on the internet. The internet is of course the only reason I'm at Starbucks at 11pm. It is the only reason I'm not at home. It is working for other people and the wireless thing says I'm connected but I can't open webpages. Can I live through the night without being online since this morning? If you never hear from me again look for my body. I'll have died of internet addiction withdrawal. Honor I expect you to write a new verse about me for Internet Junkie. I hope somebody goes through this computer so they find this file. Then at least I'll have not died in vain. I'll die blogging as is only fitting.
I have tons to write about of course. I am feeling all inspired. Of course if I were on the internet I would not be writing now. I'd be checking my facebook, my email, my iGoogle, and my fantasy baseball team.
I'm still working on connecting to the internet. I tried the repair feature on the wireless to no avail. I tried disconnecting and reconnecting. I tried rebooting the computer. I tried another browser, and I tried a hard reboot. What else can I try? Tomorrow morning I'll try connecting someplace else. That's too bad as I have to be in the train station tomorrow morning anyway. Maybe I'll just try starbucks then. Sigh, It's so hard being me.
Now let's get to the story of my day. This morning I found a place for breakfast. Not the greatest but it was good and had lots of local color. It was the typical greek coffee shop. The owner pretty much shouted "cheeburger cheeeburger" after you ordered. Another customer started shouting at a guy standing outside the restaurant that he was blocking his breeze. He was possessive of the wind. That takes a bit of ego.
After breakfast I walked the neighborhood a bit exploring then went to Pathmark for some things. Till the gas is hooked up I can't really cook so I bought peanut butter and bread and OJ. I can have one meal a day at home at least.
That was pretty much it for my day. I spent the rest of the time in my apartment vegetating, napping, and trying to talk to people on the phone. There was loud music blasting the whole time. I thought it was a idiot in a car but it was actually a dance event going on outside my window. It was some sort of autism awareness or fundraising thing so I couldn't even feel righteous indignation at the assault on my senses. Did I mention it was disco music?
I spent the day unhappy. The only person I could really talk to on the phone was Lisa. Everyone else was busy. I needed some company.
I cured that by going out tonight to see Jim's Big Ego at the Living Room. How well located is my apartment? I got there in less than half an hour. On the way home I actually clocked it from the moment I walked out the Living Room's door till I turned the key in my apartment, it took 34 minutes. Why the extra time? It is two trains and I waited eight minutes for each of them. That's longer than expected. It took 5 minutes to get from the Living Room to the subway platform so the actual time for the subway trip plus the walk to my apartment was 13 minutes.
When I got to the City I ate dinner then headed to the venue. I wanted to get there early so I could talk to Jim and find out it if I he wanted me to do merch. Usually I'll email him before a show but things have been a little crazy here in case you didn't notice.
When I got there I thought I'd find him in the bar or the green room but he was actually on stage doing sound check. I thought there was a band on earlier. So that worked out nice as I got to sit in comfort and listen when I wasn't talking to him. And yes of course I did t he merch. He has a new CD, Stay. Where is it? Oh yes, in my bag. I'm ripping it now. Most of his set was songs from it. My favorite was Another Thousand Years, about the various end of the world predictions. It's part of his non-theist set along with My Cult. Yes Jim is one of my people. He is more than that, he's one of my personal songwriters. He was writing songs just for me � before he knew I existed. I don't know how that works but it clearly does. Good thing that other people like the songs too. That's just serendipity though. They are designed just for me.
What I noticed last night is how beautiful many of Jim's songs and arrangements are. If you don't listen to the lyrics you wouldn't know they are often scathing satire. They sound like love or gentle uplifting songs. Some could even be Christian Pop. Another Thousand Years has these sweet harmonies like Christian Pop, except of course they are about the rapture having to wait. Now that's cognitive dissonance.
When I had to choose a genre when I ripped the CD I called it "Nerd Rock." It belongs somewhere in the neighborhood of They Might Be Giants, Moxy Fruvous, and Jonathan Coulton. Pandora thinks he and Moxy Fruvous are each other's closest match.
I also mentally file him with Dave Cantor, Mark Allen Berube, Brian Gundersdorf, etc; songwriters that create their own esthetic. They have influences but they feel like they invented songwriting from scratch. They follow their own rules. They write the songs inside them instead of the songs they think other people want to hear.
Near the end of the set someone tapped on my shoulder. It was Craig. He was playing bass with the next band. I couldn't stay for the whole thing as I had to get up early today and I wanted to go online first. The best part was getting to talk to Craig for a bit. I love serendipitous meetings. I usually see Craig at least once a month but it's been ages so it was extra appreciated. The singer/songwriter he was playing with did not write directly for me. She didn't make much of a connection. That doesn't mean she was bad. It doesn�t even mean that I won't connect if I see her again. But as of last night it was just nice sounding music but nothing special. Too bad as she was gorgeous. I especially notice those things when I'm not loving the music.
I left after half her set, talked to Jim a bit at the bar, then headed home. Yes home. I have a home. I only stayed there 2 minutes. I grabbed my laptop and headed off to Starbucks to enter cyberspace. [It's now Sunday morning and I'm writing this in McDonald's] After walking a block I heard, "Gordon!" it was Marjorie. My more Careful Gentle Readers with excellent memories will recognize her name. She is part of my once a year Pesach Family. She's the daughter of Louis and Sylvia who host the Seder I go to. When I told Alison where I lived she said, "I think Marjorie lives right there." She was right. It took me only a day to run into her. Alison mentioned other people I sort of know that live here. I said, "But Marjorie and I really know each other. If she spots me she'll shout out "Gordon!" in a happy and surprised tone and come over to talk to me. To my delight that's exactly what happened. That was my second serendipitous meeting of the night. I knew I liked this neighborhood.
Now you are up to speed. You know I made it to Starbucks and couldn't get on their internet then got on McDonald's network after everything closed down.
Today I'm heading out to my storage. The lovely, saintly, and kind Joe is going to drive me to the unit and help me sort things out. The mean Lori not LORi will help too but I'm sure that's just because Joe must have some blackmail material on her. She would never do anything nice like spend a day opening unlabled boxes for things I need then labeling them and sealing up the ones I don't need then driving me all the way back to Brooklyn just to be nice would she? I mean she's Lori and I am committed to calling her mean. It's tradition and without our traditions our lives would be as shaky as a fiddler on the roof.
I'm taking the LIRR out to near where they live so being at the McDonalds at the terminal is very convenient. Otherwise I'd eat someplace else. Though if I had to have one meal at McDonald's it would be breakfast. I got a sausage, egg, and cheese mcGriddle and a coffee for $3. It's decent too.
I have to stop at Target's for a tape gun before I get on the train so we can reseal boxes. Of course if I run out time we can always get that in Queens too. I might end up doing that just so I can listen to as much of John Platt's show as I can. I can't get it on the radio in Atlantic Terminal but I can online. I was happy to hear that I can get WFUV over the air from my apartment. You can't in much of Brooklyn.
Now to post this and take care of my other internet stuff.
I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.
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Horvendile June 03, 2012
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