I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
-Bertrand Russell

What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell

January 05, 2016 - 1:24 p.m.


Know what's on my mind now, my room is cold. I'm staying under my covers. My space heater is working non-stop so there's not much I can do. I'm under my blankets and wearing a hoodie with the hood on as I write this. This is when I'm so happy to have slipper socks.

I had another day of not doing much. I went to therapy yesterday. It was a lackluster session; Sometimes you don't want to talk about the things you need to talk about. This was one of those sessions. This is where I want the therapist to make me uncomfortable and get me to talk. She had to know I was holding back. Why didn't I just talk about them if I knew I should? Talking about some things sends my anxiety through the roof. This is why I think I need a new therapist, someone that can get me to talk about things without feeling like I jumped out of airplane without a parachute.

I found a nice surprise in my PO box, a package with a CD in it. I could tell that without opening it. The return address was "Rebecca & Kim" and it was from Vermont. I could not figure out who it was from. I put it in my bag and figured I'd open it on the subway ride home. I didn't; know why? I'm an idiot. I forgot about it while waiting for the train. When I got home I remembered and opened it. The mystery of who it was from was resolved. The problem is I'm not just an idiot but I'm also blind. It was from Rebecca and Ken, not Kim. It was from Hungrytown. How much of an idiot am I? I knew they were sending it to me. It was their new CD Further West that I'm going to play on the radio.

Ken and Rebecca used to be in supergroup, The Strangelings as were the Kennedys. The Kennedys new CD is West, Hungrytown's is Further West; they deny it but this is totally inter-Strangeling rivalry. I bet Eric Lee, Cheryl Prashker, and Chris Thompson make an album called Furthest West.

Further West is great and unlike anything else. I can say that about everything by Hungrytown. They follow their own path but it's not neuromusic. It doesn't come off sounding weird, it always has echoes of familiar things, yet in the end is in a genre all its own.

Last night I watched Milk the film about Harvey Milk. He's someone I always knew something about but not much. I know he was a gay activist that advocated people coming out and was assassinated. I somehow always felt he was one of my people. Watching the film I saw he's totally my people. He was a middle class Jewish kid from Queens that majored in math and loved opera. There was that whole being gay thing but isn't the point that sexual preference is not more important than all the other stuff? That's it's just one part of who you are?

The portrayal of Dan White, his assassin was fascinating. I'm not even sure if assassination is the right word to use. Unlike every other assassin I can think of he had a personal relationship with Milk. Not sure if I'd call them friends but they were colleagues and Milk did go to White's daughter's christening. White's live was deteriorating for reasons we are not shown. He was clearly unstable. The murders of Milk and Mayor Moscone might have been motivated for personal reasons. He was angry at Moscone for not appointing him to the board of supervisors. He blamed Milk for not backing him on a bill and felt betrayed. He was homophobic but was willing to support the gay rights bill till Milk wouldn't support his bill. Was it political or personal? No reason it couldn't be both.

I won't argue via Facebook comments so I'm going to vent here. A friend of mine incidentally to a discussion on exercise mentioned that she had an auto-immune disease; another way of being one of my people. Someone suggested she try bone soup. I had recently read something on how it's nonsense and quickly found it on the NPR website; Taking Stock Of Bone Broth: Sorry, No Cure-All Here. I simply posted the link without comment. I got back, "Better to encourage those who are interested." Why? Facts aren't important just interest? You know this is my number one pet peeve. I can see people not knowing about research, not knowing the facts, but to simply discount it is beyond my imaginings. She didn't refute it, she didn't saying the methodology was wrong, she was just saying she likes this other thing and others should too. Want to know why people don't believe in evolution? That's it. Want to know why people don't believe in global warming? That's it. The problem is education is not a cure all. It helps but if you are of that mind set you opinions won't be changed by facts. It does help if you are exposed to scientific thinking as a kid, to learn that science is not a collection of facts but a way of thinking.

OK now to get people really mad at me. Ammon Bundy and his militia are not terrorist. They have not killed anyone, taken anyone hostage, or even destroyed property. They are not terrifying people. Who is in danger? They are wackos doing a non-violent occupation with the added complication of guns. They did not come in guns blazing and forced people to leave. They went someplace that was empty. When the SDS did things like that were they terrorists?

Calling them terrorists is an uncalled for escalation of rhetoric. If everything becomes terrorism we will have to come up with a new word to mean terrorism. Terrorism is the use of random violence to achieve political ends. Revolutionaries are not terrorists unless you want to call George Washington a terrorist. Murderers are not automatically terrorists. The kids at Columbine were not terrorists.

While we are at it Obama is not a socialist. Trump is a horror but till he commits genocide don't compare him to Hitler. It isn't necessary to use the most extreme words available to make your point. That is what Trump does. Does it make you respect him? Does it convince you he's right? No it excites others that think like he thinks, but it does not make more people agree with him. So tone things down.

Back to Bundy and the way the Feds are dealing with him. In the wake of Waco and the Branch Davidians they are understandably cautious. Don't forget that the Oklahoma City bombers were motivated by Waco. The Southern Poverty Law Center who I admire tremendously think we were too lenient after Bundy's father was allowed to keep his cattle after that stand-off with the government and that emboldened Bundy now. I agree with that. Yes, we have to avoid bloodshed but that doesn't mean letting them go. They can't stay there forever and they should be arrested but we shouldn't be storming the place either. No one's life is at risk now. There's no rush.

OK I squandered another morning and it's 1:23, I have to eat.

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please hold me accountable.

Memories: Not that Horrid Song - May 29, 2018
Wise Madness is Now In Session - May 28, 2018
The NFL and the First Amendment - May 27, 2018
On The Road Again - May 26, 2018
Oliver the Three-Eyed Crow - May 25, 2018

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Horvendile January 05, 2016
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