I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
-Bertrand Russell

What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell

October 27, 2017 - 2:31 p.m.

Koan the Barbarian

I took my last Sertraline this morning and my therapist had to cancel this week. I the pharmacy doesn't get back to me I might not get more pills till Monday when I see my psychiatrist. I'm pretty sure that gives me a free pass to break the law this weekend and get off an insanity defense. What you think that's crazy talk? See I'm right.

I like joking like that, but I don't want to spread common misconceptions. First off people with mental illness are not more likely to commit crimes; they are far more likely to be victims of crimes. Secondly psych defenses are rarely successful especially for serious crimes. You watch Law & Order and you think it's a major problem for prosecutors and is abused. It's not. Thirdly people who get off on psych defenses spend on average more time institutionalized that those who go to prison.

I finally found a collage maker that does what I want, BeFunky. I hate the name, but it works if not as easily as Picasa whose passing I'll be mourning for a long time. At least I was able to make the Event Photo for On Your Radar with Joanna Wallfisch, Alice Howe & Freebo, and Millpond Moon

I also created a Spotify playlist, so you can sample the artists, Spotify Playlist. Don't you want to go now? We really need an On Your Radar website.

Everything is set for NERFA, a matchmaker named Cheryl found me a match. I told her that I'd name my first son for her. It will make him tough. When you are a fan of Shel Silverstein and Johnny Cash that's where you mind goes.

I always find myself singing when I make breakfast. I never decide what to sing; I just find myself singing it. Today it was an original composition that I composed as I sang and cooked, Vagenda of Manicide. I don't remember where the phrase came from; something some prominent misogynist said. Who was it? The song is from the point of view of a misogynist and warns that supporting the Vagenda of Manicide is suicide for men. The trick is to make it so ridiculous nobody thinks I'm being serious. It does fit in with two of the three political topics in my blogging queue; abortion, sexual harassment, and the left's reaction to Senator Flake's speech. The problem is once again I don't feel like lecturing on politics. I don't have writer's block, I have plenty of ideas, I just don't want to use them today.

I also don't want to go out now, but I have to. I have to get that form to claim my unclaimed funds from New York State notarized. I'm glad I remembered that. There is a notary public at the bank, it's a short walk from there. Everything on City Island is a short walk from here. I can reach either end in ten minutes. Who else thought it was nota republic as a kid? Not only do I remember things like that, but I enjoy remembering things like that. My therapist noted that I always smile when I do.

Yesterday, I said that Wise Madness is a koan. My life is a koan, by the Copernican principle my guess is that yours is too. The purpose of writing this is to express what I'm thinking about. I'm thinking about the topics I listed above but don't want to write about them. Last night when I went to sleep I was feeling terrible about my relationships with people. I had to meditate to snap out of it. Today I'm talking about naming my son for Cheryl. I don't have a son and it's not likely I ever will. I'm going to leave you to contemplate the contradictions in my life and your own. I'll do something simple and clean, take a shower.

I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.

Memories: Not that Horrid Song - May 29, 2018
Wise Madness is Now In Session - May 28, 2018
The NFL and the First Amendment - May 27, 2018
On The Road Again - May 26, 2018
Oliver the Three-Eyed Crow - May 25, 2018

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Horvendile October 27, 2017
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