I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
January 31, 2018 - 11:38 a.m.
There is a cat talking to me as I write this. I wonder if he reads this? Probably not, cats only read about themselves.
Last night I went to the Knick game, my first in a while. I went years without going but now it's a thing again. I'm going next week too. Sports fan me needs out more. Elton John was playing at The Theater at Madison Square Garden, that meant there was a crush of people getting in and tougher security. My bag was almost empty, yet they took more time examining it than they ever have. Good thing I forgot to take my nuke with me. I didn't get in until right before the National Anthem was sung. I still beat Alan; his train was delayed and didn't get in to about 5 minutes into the first quarter. When I took the train in from Queens I took the previous one. I don't like getting there just as the game starts and it provides a cushion for the unexpected.
The Knicks played the Nets in a subway series. Unlike the Mets and Yankees, you can get from MSG to the Barkley center taking just one train, the 2 or 3. Too bad you can't really play a Day/Night doubleheader in basketball. The Mets and Yankees did that once; one game in each stadium.
The Knicks are mediocre this year, an improvement. They manage that by being very good at home and very bad on the road. That means I expect the Knicks to win when I see them, especially when they play the Nets who are bad no matter where they play. Since Dolan took the team over the Knicks have been one of the worst run franchises in sports. The Nets are now giving them a run for their money. They did a Dolan move, they traded their future of over-the-hill stars.
With all those high expectations, what did the Knicks do? They won easily. Race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong but that's the way to bet. It was a fun game to watch. The Knicks best player and first-time all-star Kristaps Porzingis was raining down threes, he was 6-8 from behind the line, and scored 28 points. He also blocked two shots; he leads the league in blocks. He was not the star of the game, that was Enes Kantor who 20 points, 20 rebounds, 5 assists, and 2 blocks while shooting 8-10. Neither of the Knicks' two best players is American, Porzingis is from Latvia and Kantor from Turkey.
There were two amazingly inconsiderate people in my section. We sit high, the 18th row. We have to climb narrow steps to get to our seats. The woman one row ahead of me had her handbag and her drink on the steps as I was coming in. She moved the drink but left the handbag. Then she put the drink back. Later I went down to get a drink of water, the woman had her bag and her drink on the steps and as I was behind her didn't even remove the drink. The guy in front of her put down three pizza boxes over two steps totally blocking the way. I said, "Hey guys, you can't block the stairs." Pizza box man looked sheepish, apologized and picked up the boxes. Bag lady just picked up her drink. When I came back the pizza boxes were clear, but the bag and drink were still blocking the stairs. Once again, she picked up her drink. This time I didn't mince my steps and walked right on the bags straps. I was tempted to step on the bag but resisted. When the game was over, and everyone is pouring out, she still had the bag on the stairs. Once again, I stepped on the straps, this time deliberately.
I didn't rush home and watch a rerun of the State of the Union. I didn't watch it when Obama made it. Even if I liked what he was saying Trump's syntax would bother me. The Times had a running commentary, I did read that. I'm tempted to give my own State of the Union here. I think I've done that before. It's a lot of work to do it right so knowing me I won't; it's not going to change the world,
I made plans with one of the people that I have plans to make plans with! I was giving up on that. That encouraged me. I think I'm going to try with someone else now. I have to use what I learned in therapy to hold back the flood of negative thoughts unleashed when I reach out with someone to meet. I'm going to do that now, before I finish this. I did it! I sent a text. I have to remember to tell my therapist that. Saying "therapist," triggered anxiety. Our minds are complex and often inexplicable. We talked about that last session. "There's a reason for everything" is fake news. Much of what happens is Butterfly Effect.
I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.
Memories: Not that Horrid Song - May 29, 2018
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