I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
June 27, 2017 - 10:28 a.m.
I'm starting to write early, it's only 9:15. It's partly because I woke up early but partly because I didn't let myself find distractions. I'm going to pat myself on the back. My therapist would approve of that. Part of what therapy does is give me an unbiased and educated outside point of view. Even better it's a counterpoint to points of view that cause angst.
I notice that I'm often writing about therapy of late. That is not a conscious decision on my part. It's the direction my mind is going of its own accord. It's so odd but the mind can have a mind of its own. It sounds like total nonsense but you know exactly what I mean.
Yesterday's big adventure was culinary. For years I have wanted to make a loin of pork. There's just something about the way it looked that I liked. Then Gary made it for his guests when we stayed with him during the New Bedford Folk Festival. That won me over, I loved it. The problem is that it's not something that's practical to make for one person. Last time I went to Aldi they didn't have the country style ribs I usually get but they did have a small pork tenderloin and it was inexpensive. It was still too big for one person, even over two meals, but it was perfect for three so I bought it and decided to make dinner for Jane and Bernie.
Then I had to figure out how to make it. Gary had smoked it. I don't have a smoker. I do have a slow cooker. I have the internet. I searched for a good recipe. I found one. Just the name will tell you that it's meant for me; Slow Cooker Bacon Garlic Pork Loin. You want to try it too. It's easy to complain about the internet but it makes our lives better. Without it I'd have to buy a cookbook and hunt through it and hope that it had a recipe I wanted. On the internet, I have thousands of recipes to choose from.
I was going to make roasted potatoes with it but decided to see if I could find something more exciting. I did; Parmesan Garlic Crash Hot Potatoes. The only ingredient I needed to buy was grated parmesan.
I had never made either of the dishes so Bernie and Jane were guinea pigs. I was a bit nervous but I have never made a dish from a recipe that was a disaster. If you go through the recipes you'll see that they are simple, there aren't many ingredients. They don't involve special skills unless you want to call mincing garlic a special skill. It's the kind of thing you can learn to do in 5 minutes on YouTube. Once again, the internet comes to the rescue.
The dinner was a success; I love cooking for other people. I don't know why but I do. Most of my life that just meant grilling; I could always grill. That's what a boy learned to do when I was growing up. Cooking in the kitchen came later. The bacon wrapped pork loin was what I was excited about but the potatoes were even better. I'm going to start making them regularly. Jane described it just as the recipe does, it's crispy on the outside and creamy on the inside. The effect is similar to the Hasselback potatoes and they are less labor intensive.
I'm an idiot. I forgot to make dessert, it's just chocolate pudding but I bought it. Maybe I'll make it tonight.
Good thing Bernie and Jane have a dishwasher. The cleanup is always the hardest part of cooking. Even with the dishwasher it's the hardest part.
I wish I had taken pictures of dinner. I even took care arranging it when I served it. I carved the pork loin into slices and surrounded it by the potatoes. I meant to take the picture then didn't. Is that an idiot story? I don't think so. I mainly wanted the picture to illustrate this entry. I could also use it on Instagram. I've been neglecting my personal Instagram in favor John Platt's On Your Radar. I use that to promote the series and post at least once a day and prefer twice. Pictures of my dinner are not going to help there.
One final thing. I try to not post about my fantasy baseball team, The Nashional Batnoses too often but sometimes I need to indulge myself. They are currently in third place. What makes that impressive is that we've been devastated by injuries. I drafted six starting pitchers. Five are on the Disabled List, three of those on the 60-day DL as is my starting second baseman. I came out of the draft happier about my team that I have in ages. I was right to be.
I had to write about the team because it's important for my mental health. When I'm feeling bad I just have to check on what's going on with them, good or bad, and it takes my mind off my troubles. I get involved in making plans and coming up with strategies. The anxiety always stops me from doing it before the season starts but once it does I can do it. It's inexplicable; my mind has a mind of its own.
I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.
Memories: Not that Horrid Song - May 29, 2018
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