I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
September 09, 2014 - 12:09 p.m.
I did a lot worth writing about yesterday. Let's see if I can actually write it. I'm in a fairly intense conversation on Facebook while I do. This could get interesting.
It was Monday so I had therapy. She likes that I'm blogging about my descent into depression. I like what I've been writing. Oh and she agrees that I'm officially depressed. Yay! That was not even ironic. I do have issues. So the thing that makes it depression is that "wheel of fire" thing where I find it so hard to let it go. I'm doing a good job of it right now. Writing is good therapy. I concentrate on the writing. Finding the right words takes up so much of my brain that it can draw more mental resources than even obsession. So back to actual therapy. When I'm in bad shape like this her style changes. It's more giving me a sympathetic ear and less challenging me.
After therapy I had to make a number of choices. I got out at 4:30 and had to be on Avenue A at 8:00. It was about 15 minutes away. But it takes me an hour to get home so the back and forth didn't seem worth it. I decided to go to stay in the City and go to a movie! But first I had to get bagels. They are half-priced after 4:00 on Mondays. But it looked like it might rain and I was afraid the bagels would get soaked. And I forgot to bring my shopping bag so I'd have to hold them in a plastic bag instead of on my shoulder. So I didn't get. Now I'll have to buy bagels at full price. I did go to the Jeweler that fixed Heather's hearing aid. It's across the street from the bagel store. My watch stopped. I couldn't believe the battery went dead so fast. I hoped it wasn't broken. Something had chipped the crystal so perhaps it was. I love the jeweler. He's a mensch. He's fun to talk to. My father would say he's a good businessman. He made me want to go back to him. And he fixed my watch! a piece of glass and fallen into the face. I didn't see it. He removed it. He didn't even try to sell me a new crystal.
I then went to the Union Square Movie Theater. I didn't even check to see what was playing. I figured I'd see if the timing for some film worked out right. It did, Guardians of the Galaxy. I got there at 5:00 and it started at 5:10. Of course the first ticket kiosk's cc reader didn't work right and that wasted a lot of time so I didn't get to the auditorium till 5:08. Still early of course. I've been depressed and I wanted my therapy food but I resisted having popcorn. That's so difficult as it was exactly what I wanted but because of the Crohn's I can't have it. It made me sick last time I tried.
There's a walking talking tree called Groot. All he can say is "I am Groot." I of course watch all the credits. There was a deGroot and Groot. It's not like that's a common name. That's totally how they got the job.
The schedule said that next show was at 7:00. That was great as I wanted a break when I could talk to Katrina on the phone. but the film ended at 7:20 and by the time I was out of the bathroom and onto the street it was 7:35. So I had to walk straight to the HiFi bar to see Don Piper w/ Dave Schramm, James Mastro and The Kennedys. It's part of a monthly series that Don does there. I knew about this show because of the Kennedys of course. Funny I don't remember when I heard about it but it's on my calendar. Maybe it was from the Newsletter. It was a tiny room and the room was packed without the show being promoted.
I'm going to mainly talk about the Kennedys but I have to say something about James first. I've known him for ages. Longer than the Kennedys actually as he was in the Bongos. But I've only known him as a guitar player. Last night he put on his singer/songwriter hat, literally.
The man can write a song. As someone I know of as an instrumentalist I was wary of his lyrics but that is his greatest strength. He has something to say and can find the right words. When I get surrounded at music at NERFA I realize most songwriters have nothing to say. They just want to write songs and reprocess what they hear. James doesn't. I told him to write more. I want to hear more.
The Kennedys did all new or unreleased songs. I had only heard two of them before. One is actually old, Williamsburg Bridge. Pete did that as part of a solo project that he never released. That's a shame as it is some of his best songwriting. It was a song cycle about New York. Williamsburg Bridge was perhaps the best song on it. It's about Brooklyn as the promised land. Pretty amazing stuff. Great imagery. He had done it solo the other times I've heard it. This was the first time with Maura on harmony vocals. It's now a Kennedys song. It was even better.
The other song I heard was Fireflies. It and White Snake are based on the book A Day in the Life of a Severed Head by Lan Yan. Pete and Maura are going through a burst of creativity. Songs are pouring out of them and this was just the tip of the ice berg. I can't wait for the new album. I can't wait to the longer show they are doing at Rockwood Music Hall, their 20th Anniversary Show. They are going to do more new material there. Maura introduced one song by saying, "one person in the audience will know who this song was about" and looked at me. That put the pressure on. But then Pete gave it away by saying it was Dave Carter. I would have gotten it. It's a powerful song about a powerful songwriter. Dave meant an awful lot to me and I always felt a connection to him even though we never spoke. That by the way is just bizarre. It's me. He was in my social circle. Why didn't I ever go up to him? One song was written in the Strangelings mode. How could I tell the guitar part was meant for sitar? I actually asked Pete that but then we got distracted.
I some pictures. Not many came out well. I don't know why as the light was good.
I wrote in my last entry that Pete and Maura always make me happy. They did. The music also connects with me. And unlike Dave I talk to them. I had a great conversation with Pete before the show and with Maura afterward. There was even after effect. I've seen the wheel of fire much less persistently since I saw them last night. I have to keep on the run now to keep the depression at bay. It's good to have something that lasts beyond the moment.
OK it's late. I better get moving. It's omelet day. I think I will splurge and one with peanut butter.
I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.
Memories: Not that Horrid Song - May 29, 2018
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