I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
November 03, 2017 - 11:09 a.m.
I'm making an earlier start than usual today, 10:04; that's good as I'm not getting a ride to the MetroNorth station and have to leave here by 12:30 and I need to eat first. I tried and experiment, instead of taking my pills before I went to sleep I took them a few hours earlier. That left me less sleepy in the morning. I'm going to have to set an alarm to remind myself to do it every day. There is a lot of fine tuning in taking psych meds; I take Zoloft and Neurontin. I usually use the generic names, Sertraline and Gabapentin as that's what it says on the bottles.
Yesterday I went to my PO Box. I'm proud of myself I did several things that required overcoming anxiety including depositing a check. Long time readers know that's an issue for me, everyone else is going "Huh?" who has anxiety about depositing checks? Don't feel bad, my therapists and psychiatrists never heard of it either. When I started therapy and especially meds, my hope was to not feel the anxiety; that might be too much to ask for. Perhaps all I can do is learn to deal with it as I do my Crohn's disease.
I went to Trader Joe's yesterday and neglected to buy two important things, spiced apple cider and pumpkin spice scones. I bought a gallon of cider a few days ago and forgot how much cider we drink. I can drink a gallon all by myself in less than a week. There is nothing I can drink more of including water. It seems to take up no space and it's so good. I had a box of scones, but I made them last night. I don't know how long the season lasts but buy them. It's very easy to make and so good. There's nothing like scones hot out of the oven. Did I mention they have maple icing?
I want to discuss a subtle form of prejudice, using group descriptors where none is necessary. When you talk about people if their race, weight, age, ethnic origin, etc. is not relevant don't mention it when talking about them, especially when you are saying something bad about them. Nanci Griffith's Hard Times is one of my favorite songs but in this song about tolerance the second verse is:
A cafeteria line in ChicagoWhy bring up that he's fat? It's disparaging. Don't say things like "This black guy cut in front of me," or "This old lady took forever at checkout." Don't even say, "A nice Jewish man gave me directions." It's saying that these classifications are important and somehow tied to the virtue or sin. I was one talking about a rude person on the subway and a friend asked, "Was he black?" I answered, "What difference does it make?" It's harder with gender as pronouns are gendered. While I will call individuals "them" when I know it's what they prefer it is too confusing in general conversation. People will wonder if there is more than one person, What I did try and do is say, "This person" instead of "this man" or "this woman." Sometimes it's difficult and I don't worry about it. It's built into our language and takes a sustained effort to keep it up.
People intellectually might know this but I find they still do it. I'm sure I sometimes do and I make an effort. I don't call other people on it. That just makes the feel bad unless it's racist or sexist or the like. And of course, you should never use derogatory words, here's where gender often comes in. There are insulting terms that are used only about women, bitch, witch, whore, and some too offensive for me to use as I can make my point without them. Don't use them and use your judgement on chiding others about it.
Now to make breakfast and shower before I head out to therapy and thence to a party tonight.
I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.
Memories: Not that Horrid Song - May 29, 2018
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