I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
December 27, 2013 - 9:21 a.m.
I'm starting this very early, it's 8:12. I went to sleep some time after 2:30, that was the last time I glanced at a the clock. It might have been an hour after that. But I'm up now and can't get back to sleep and I want to keep busy for now. Maybe I can crash when I'm finished here.
I'll cut to the chase. Last night I went to see Dar for her annual Brooklyn Boxing Day show at Bell House. Lots of Bs in that. Some years there are some seats for the show and some years there aren't. Meg hurt her knee so we needed seats There are always a few seats in booths at the back. That's my excuse for getting there early. We of course know I'd do that in any event. I made great time and made it there almost an hour and a half before doors. Now for Moxy Fr�vous there's have been a line out front by then. Last night I was the first one and wasn't joined by anyone for 15 or 20 minutes. Oh well. The only real problem is that I didn't bring my book like so I couldn't read. That meant playing on my phone. As standing was difficult I didn't expect or want Meg there early. She actually got there about 45 minutes before doors and we were joined by Chris a short time after that. That was our party. We'd have still have had fine seats if we all arrived then. We did save two more seats, one for a friend of Chris I didn't know and another for Kevin.
I enjoyed the time waiting with Meg and Chris. I haven't hung out with them in a while and we had lots of catching up to do.
Why don't I know more people at Dar shows. I've been seeing her for 18 years or so? Part of the reason is that there's been a large turnover of her crowd. Oddly at least in the section where we were sitting there were more men than women. There was a time when the crowd was 75% female.
The opening act was someone I've known longer than Dar, even though she's much younger, Lucy Wainwright Roche. She's the daughter of Suzzy Roche and Loudon Wainwright and I saw her at Roche's shows can it be 25 years ago? I heard her sing at their Christmas shows. I must have caroled with her at some point but I don't actually remember that.
This was by far the best I've ever seen her. You wouldn't think that someone with her history that's been performing for a decade would improve that much but she did. What really surprised me is how much better her singing has gotten. That's shows she's been working on it.
She was always the epitome of someone whose songs are not as interesting as she is. But that's partly because she is so interesting. I have always loved her stage manner and banter. Like pretty much everyone in the family on both sides she is someone that I'd love to just sit down and talk to. Songwriting I expect to get better and it has. Still not as interesting as she is but they are good. I thoroughly enjoyed her set.
Dar is one of my touchstone artists. Yes she is THE prototypical sensitive chick with guitar, the kind of act I am quick to dismiss. The difference of course is genius. She's a sensitive chick with guitar with something to say and who knows how to say it. She makes it look easy but each song is clever. I was going to say crafted, and they are, but plenty of people have craft and still leave me bored.
I listen to Dar and I can't help but like her. Lucy said that when she was 13 she fantasized about being able to talk about her problems with Dar, and now she can. And you can so see that. You don't have to be a 13 year old girl to feel like that. Hell I want to talk about my problems with her.
What Dar isn't great for is taking pictures. She is always standing there with her guitar. Not much changes. But this pic that I posted last night is one of the most popular I have ever posted on Facebook.
The color is off and it isn't very sharp but that smile says it all. Here's one other of her.
For most of the show she was joined by her usual keyboard player. yes I should have gotten a pic of him too but I didn't. At the end she was joined on a few songs by special guests.
That's the New York Gay Men's Chorus. She did one song, a cover, that she said that students at Vassar college should have sung to the Hillsboro Baptist Church people, that it even referenced Kansas. I knew what it was from that, Somewhere Over the Rainbow. That was magical.
After the show Kevin had room in his car to give one person a lift and of course Chris and I both said Meg. I had to stop at the bank on the way home and grab some dinner. It was at Wendy's. That was not a good part of the evening. I did like hearing the bell at Borough Hall chime midnight.
I led with Dar but something of note happened earlier in the day. I watched the first episode of Red Dwarf on Amazon Prime. Now I loved that show. I discovered it right away before anyone I knew had heard of it. But that's because I caught the second episode when it was first broadcast here. I've seen man episodes multiple times but never the first. I shocked people when I said that on Facebook.
All this sounds so up but that isn�t how I am feeling. I've been feeling sorry for myself. I don't like that. It isn't that I think don't have real problems. I do. You know a lot of them and there are others that I just elude to. You'd go awww, if you knew them. So it isn't that I don't think I'm complaining about nothing. It's just that feeling sorry for myself will make me less not more happy. So that's all I'm going to say about that. I'd feel dishonest if I just ignored the strongest feelings I'm having.
Oh wait. I forgot the part I wanted to write. So instead of telling you about what's going on and my inspiring pep talk to myself I'll just give you some allusions I'd use.
There's Cyrano of course, and Saint Crispin/Crispian's Day speech. Why can't Harry decided which it is? A leader is supposed to be decisive. I'd feel a lot better about the battle of he could make a simple decision like that. Will anybody know what I'm talking about? Do people know it as the St. Crispin's Day speech? I found out recently that almost nobody I asked knew the The Gift of the Magi. Maybe if I just say Henry V people will know.
That was funny in my head last night. That's a lot better than feeling sorry for myself. And' that's all I'll say about that.
I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.
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Horvendile December 27, 2013
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