I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
August 24, 2015 - 1:31 p.m.
My therapist is still on vacation and my mental health isn't good. Is that cause and effect? Good question; I don't know how to get a good answer. Well as I don't have therapy today writing this will have to do. I'm listening to Beethoven's Ninth and it's up to the Ode to Joy, that's as good therapy as there is.
I let anxiety stop me from going out last night. It was actually anxiety about anxiety. I was afraid I'd have an attack if I did what I planned. So instead I just went food shopping. I did get peanut butter Oreos; that's good therapy too. I was devastated, Oreos were on sale; they had chocolate cream Oreos and peanut butter cream. They didn't have what I wanted the Reese's chocolate & peanut butter cream cookies. It is so hard being me.
I was going to say that I have nothing on my calendar tonight, but I do. I'm going to see Tara O'Grady at the NYLO hotel. That's her regular Monday gig. When I'm feeling down with nothing to do on a Monday I can always see Tara and hear great music.
I often talk about musicians that I love and there are many that I'm friends with but what I've come to realize is that there are some that I'll champion. It's not just a matter of being good or even great. Right now I'm listening to Richard Thompson who is my favorite of favorites, but I don't champion Richard Thompson. I don't need to. Most people that will love Richard Thompson will already know about Richard Thompson. He doesn't need a champion. Even bands not that level can reach a point where everybody that I know, knows them. What distinguishes the artists I champion is not just that I love them but that I think that they have not reached their audience yet. They will always thank me for my support but I don't do it as a favor to the artists. I do it to rebalance the Force. There's not just the dark side and the light side, more abundant than either is the grey side, mediocracy. I see a world where blandness can find success and genius struggles and I am compelled to fight against that. I fight against Mother Sereda, the goddess of Wednesdays. In Jurgen she says; "I bleach. In time I shall bleach that garment you are wearing. For I take the color out of all things. Thus you see these stuffs here, as they are now. Clotho spun the glowing threads, and Lachesis wove them, as you observe, in curious patterns, very marvelous to see: but when I am done with these stuffs there will be no more color or beauty or strangeness anywhere apparent than in so many dishclouts." So I try to expose people to Kristin Andreassen, Jean Rohe, ilyAIMY, Bobtown, Harpeth Rising, Haas Kowert Tice, Scott Wolfson, Mark Allen Berube, Tara O'Grady, Carolann Solebello, Villa Palagonia, Evie Ladin, … . It' s not just music, I tell you about Jurgen and Phineas & Ferb and Cones Ice Cream on Bleecker Street. I want to spread the word on everything I find that shines with its own light and has color or beauty or strangeness. To put it simpler in a guest entry, 50 fun facts about gordondondondondondondon Carey. wrote "… when Gordon finds something he loves, he wants to share it with everyone possible."
To write that I had to find the original sources I quote. All of Jurgen can be found online, Jurgen: A Comedy of Justice by James Branch Cabell. You can even download it to your kindle and you should. It's a magical book. I actually opened the book to find another line that I've been thinking about; Jurgen's Shadow. After his first encounter with Mother Sereda he is given his youth back but his shadow was no longer his both other Sereda's. I was looking for a line but there isn't any. What the shadow does is just implied in many little bits but this is the gist of it from his second encounter with her...
"How can any of us know anything? And what is Jurgen, that his knowing or his not knowing should matter to anybody?"Mother's Sereda's shadow follows us all at times and there are times I prefer to remain in the dark than see it. When looking for the quote from Carey I found something to shine light and drown out the shadow, a goovie guest appearance.Jurgen slapped his hands together. "Hah, Mother Sereda!" says he, "but now I have you. It is that, precisely that damnable question, which your shadow has been whispering to me from the beginning of our companionship. And I am through with you. I will have no more of your gifts, which are purchased at the cost of hearing that whisper. I am resolved henceforward to be as other persons, and to believe implicitly in my own importance."
Once again it is too late to make pancakes but know what. I don't care. I'm making pancakes. And not just that I'm making bacon to go with it. I'm not going to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune I'm going to take arms against a sea of troubles. What hope does the sea have against maple syrup and bacon?
I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.
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Horvendile August 24, 2015
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