I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
-Bertrand Russell

What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell

July 21, 2013 - 10:40 a.m.

Let Me Eat Cake

I slept late and I'm running off early today so I have to rush writing this. We'll see how it goes.

So yesterday was my birthday. The earth has orbited the sun 56 times since I was born. There is absolutely no way that has inherent significance but culturally we have made it I important so it is important.

I have a million issues but aging isn't one of them., I'm not afraid of getting old and not afraid of dying ,,, eventually a long time from now. My birthday is a holiday to celebrate me. I like me. So I like my birthday.

When I have had birthday anxiety it has nothing to do with problems with my birthday but social anxiety, the same I get many New Year's Eve and many people get on the holidays. I want to celebrate my birthday with a friend or with multiple friends. last year I went to the Chocolate Room with a group of friends. That was great. Most of my life I've had one or sometimes a few birthday friends. Friends I always spend my birthday with. Some years I had a few and had to celebrate my birthday more than once. That's a good thing. But I had a dry spell with no natural person to spend my birthday with. It didn't help that Falcon Ridge was the weekend after my birthday most years so everyone was busy getting ready. This year they moved FRFF. I decided I wanted to do an old fashioned birthday for me. Not a party, not a group getting together but doing something with one friend. For years it was Carey, then it was Carey. Sorry that all my friends have the same name. It's been Lauren and Lisa. This year I asked Katherine.

I had two options, One was the Waterboys at Prospect Park. I love the Waterboys and haven't seen them in ages. We could picnic. It's convenient for both of us. The downside was that it's a bit of a production getting there early to get a good spot and having to deal with a big crowd. I was fine with that but I was not fine with 95˚ weather. They do not air condition the park. So that meant the second option, Emily Elbert at the The Living Room. I see Emily more often but that's because I try and never miss her. She a favorite performer and a favorite person. She's unlike anyone else I regularly listen to. When she told me she was playing on my birthday I told her I'd probably be there. And I was.

Katherine and I met for dinner at the diner at Houston and Norfolk. My father was born on Norfolk and I always think of that when I see the street.

Whoops, gotta leave and can't write. Maybe I'll take this on the train with me and write there. that's a thought. I'm going to the Huntington Folk Festival. Perhaps the park has Wi-Fi and I can post from there.

I'm back. I realized there was a good chance of rain so I didn't take the computer. Now it's really late and I have a whole other day to write about. I'll start now and finish tomorrow.

It is the morning. So let's go back to my birthday. Where was I? Yes the diner. I still cant remember the name, For my b'day dinner I had Chicken Gordon Blue. Well almost. Diners are iffy but this was great. It was something I don't have all the time; perfect birthday food.

Then we walked over to The Living Room to see Emily Elbert. We got there early to see the singer before her. Sorry I forgot her name. She was Spanish speaking. I had trouble figuring out her accent. My guess is that she is from Spain but learned British English not American. I'm probably totally wrong.

I had mixed feelings about her. On one song I felt that she was too histrionic and it bothered me. But when she did songs that sounded like fifties rock merged with Motown it was great. You have to work to not enjoy that kind of thing.

Emily was her usual magical self. She's not the folk girl I first saw. She's a jazz bandleader. She taps into my current musical passion, the Bach portion of my brain. Music that has many parts that interweave. It's not just a a matter of having a band. It's having more than one thing to pay attention to at once. I love music that is not a melody with harmonies that move in lockstep with it. Emily treats the saxophone as a second voice. At times there is a dialogue between the two. At others they play at the same time and you follow both voices at once. It's like listening to two conversations at once at a party except there's a harmonic unity.

Last time I saw her was the first show Emily played electric guitar. She's kept with it and it works better than the acoustic in this setting. The sound just fits better. And it's fun watching the little girl with the big guitar. She's amazingly good. You'd think she was born playing electric.

The music might sound intellectual but jazz is the one kind of music where I go for the emotional, The best way to understand the music is that people started to spontaneously dance. I have never seen that at the Living Room before. I'm kicking myself for not grabbing Katherine and dancing too. I have no idea how to dance to jazz. That was the problem. I want to move but I don't know how. I think I might have just looked like someone having a spasm.

After the show I went over to talk to Emily and introduce Katherine to her. The crowd was large which was great but made it hard to talk. So I kept it short. In any event cake called. After all it was my birthday.

We went to the Cake Shop next door. I saw a red velvet cake and considered that but asked about the chocolate looking cake underneath it. It was chocolate and peanut butter. It really was my birthday. Sometimes things work out better than they have any right to. Katherine asked if they had anything vegan. She was shocked when they told her "everything but the cupcakes." So she joined me with peanut butter and chocolate.

When we were done we had to walk it off so instead of going to the closest subway we went one stop past it, East Broadway.. I've never used that stop. We passed the accordion store Katherine goes to. I love that there's an accordion store. What's it called? Something like the main squeeze.

I only took the two stops and had to make the transfer to the which is not technically a transfer but a separate trip. If I didn't have an unlimited I'd have had to pay a second fare.

When I got back home I found an email from the woman with the apartment in Windsor Terrace asking if I was still interested. I very calmly said yes. Inside I was saying;


. Wish me luck. It's my first choice. It's a great place, I have no trepidations about it,. It isn't perfect but it's great. She did not get back to me yesterday and I wrote her again when I got home last night.

OK I'm going to finish this hear and catch up with yesterday in another entry. Now I'm going to make breakfast.

I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.

Memories: Not that Horrid Song - May 29, 2018
Wise Madness is Now In Session - May 28, 2018
The NFL and the First Amendment - May 27, 2018
On The Road Again - May 26, 2018
Oliver the Three-Eyed Crow - May 25, 2018

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Horvendile July 21, 2013
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