I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
December 25, 2012 - 2:06 p.m.
I'm a bit tired and part of me wants to go back to sleep but I have a duty to my Gentle Readers that comes before my personal comfort. I'll see if I can get my brain working and start writing.
I'll pick up just where I left off yesterday. After writing Wise Madness I left for therapy. I stopped for breakfast at Dunkin' Donuts then hopped on the subway. I got to the therapy about 15 minutes early which is how I like it. It wasn't at my usual time because the building closed early for Christmas Eve and my appointment wasn't on the computer. I was surprised because the receptionist who hasn't been there long knew my name without asking. I always had to tell the other receptionists. I was impressed and told her then asked her name. I told her that I'd tried to remember it for the next time I come in, in two weeks. I know it now. It's Whitney! Are you proud of me? I'm proud of myself. I love the little human interactions with the people I'm peripherally involved with, receptionists, security, retail clerks, and the like. It's so much nicer than dealing with a cipher.
I had a rough week so I had a lot to talk about with my therapist. I said on the dark moments of Thursday night that I think I should perhaps change therapists. I still think so but I couldn't bring it up with her because this week because I had too much I needed to talk about.
I wrote here that I was thinking of seeing the Hobbit after therapy. When I took my phone out to see where it was playing I saw that I had a text. It as Katherine; She asked that if I wasn't seeing "The Hobbit" would I like to join her and her friends for caroling in Washington Square Park. That was a no brainer. I'd much rather do something with a friend than passively watch a film by myself. I couldn't say yes fast enough. I had time in between so I went as I often do after therapy to the Strand. I had no intention of buying anything since I figured there's be enormous lines of last minute Christmas shoppers. I was wrong there wasn't. It was buy but not super busy. I went over to the science fiction/fantasy section to browse. On the way over I heard a gentleman ask someone who worked there where he could find something by Tolkien other than the Lord of the Rings. The worker said that "over at the employees choices section they had copies of the sila... simli ... the uh" I interjected "the Silmarillion.. The employee thanked me after the guy ran off. I actually felt bad because I didn't tell him that they had other books in the science fiction/fantasy section I was walking to. That's where I found The Children of Hurin.
I found just the kind of book I wanted, a Larry Niven novel I haven't read. He's been writing science fiction almost exactly as long as I've been reading it and has been a favorite of mine forever. If he writes a book without a coauthor I read it. Let's see what it's called. I am now going to make a major sacrifice for you My Gentle Readers; I am going to get out of bed to get the book. It's Destiny's Road . Any of you read it? I'll be writing a books I've read this year entry soon.
I then used my phone to find what is on my "to read" list on Good Reads and tried to by the top rated book on the list, Steven Weinberg's Cosmology but they were out. This is my new plan, alternate browsing with buying books off the list.
I had a short wait, less than 5 minutes, on the checkout line, then headed south to Washington Square Park. There was a misunderstanding on where to meet and I waited in the NW corner of the park. An interesting place. It is where the drug dealers work. They kept harassing me asking me if I wanted to buy their wares. I then heard singing over at the arch. I was afraid of going there and missing Katherine and I didn't want her to wait around for me near the drug dealers. I decided to text her to say I'd be at the arch. I saw she had texted me saying she was at the arch. There was a bit of difficulty but I found her. We then joined her friends, Andi (on-dee) and Debra. This was not like when Terre led the caroling. There were hundreds of people there. We didn't have lyric sheets which made it tough and it was hard to hear to keep everyone in synch. No matter we had tons of fun. Katherine and friends can really sing, (Katherine is in Bobtown) so I had a ball listening to them harmonize. I joined them in falsetto on the 12 Days of Christmas: oO Five Gold Rings Oo at the top of my falsetto lungs. Forget the right key, I'm lucky if I hit any key. We laughed and high fived when we were done.
Andi, Debra, me, Katherine
The Caroling was supposed to go on for two hours but it was only an hour, maybe a bit more. Andi had to leave but the rest of us went out for a drink. Yes you read that right, I went out for a drink. We went to a bar on Minetta and after debating and waiting we got seats. And get this I ordered a real drink, a Scottish Stout. I think it might have been the best beer I ever had. It was the platonic ideal of stout. Way better than Guiness, at least the Guiness you get in America. Of course that wasn't what I was there for but for the company.
It's strange and beautiful world. I met Katherine at NERFA though we didn't talk that much. Then I ran into her at Music on 4 and we had a really nice conversation. Next thing I know I get an invitation to go caroling with her on Christmas Eve. It was much better than seeing a movie alone. it was just about the perfect way to spend Christmas Eve. I have no shortage of things wrong in life but there are things to be thankful for too.
Katherine lives in Brooklyn so we took the subway together and had more quality conversation till we had to get on different trains.
I had not had dinner so I got off at Church Ave for pizza then got back on the subway and got back home before Santa arrived. I was informed that he had called. He calls The Last Homely House every year on Christmas Eve.
On Christmas morning I got up got out of bed and went downstairs to a living room filled with wrapping paper and other Christmas detritus. I was informed that they had left a stocking for me and that Santa somehow knew I was there and filled it, mainly with chocolate. Santa knows me very well. The house of Elrond also got me a present from themselves, more chocolate, hot chocolate. Yum!
I have been thinking what it is that I love about the Festivus season. There is no one answer but the thing that struck me last night was that it is the one time of year that the world in general accepts the lesson of the sigil that I have at the top of this page and will repeat here:
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me – that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter – except to show how very dull we are,...Isn't that the entire point of It's A Wonderful Life? George rejoices before everyone gives him money and he's saved from ruin. He shouts with delight that he's going to jail and he believes he is going to jail. Why? Because he learned that life is exquisite wonderfulness and that the rest was smoke and mirrors. It's all in the point of view; what's background and what's foreground. On Festivus I see that maybe others don't see the world that way but they wish they saw the world that way. The Christians and the Pagans sit together at the table and only pumpkin pies are burning. People are happy! Sure not everyone but more than usual.
Little kids getting calls from Santa who leaves me chocolate, friends of short acquaintance taking an interest in my welfare, friends willing to take a homeless vagabond, they are all exquisite.
As usual I'm missing the mark and hoping that you get the point anyway. It can be another Festivus miracle. I hope all of you awoke this morning to find an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle with a compass in the stock and a thing to tell the time hiding behind the couch. If not there's always next year. And if not then at least it exists. At least you have your dreams of getting an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle with a compass in the stock and a thing to tell the time. At least you live in a universe where it such things exist. That didn't have to be. The Universe doesn't exist for your convenience or pleasure. So when it comes through appreciate it.
I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.
Oh! Carol - December 22, 2017
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