I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
-Bertrand Russell

What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell

June 30, 2015 - 11:52 a.m.

Whew!

My coffee is almost ready. After this paragraph I will be caffeinated. We'll see if that unleashes awesome powers. Of course that means I'm using a proven performance enhancing drug. Will that keep me out of the blogging hall of fame?

Yesterday I left you in suspense there was a question of if I had another financial disaster. I'll draw out the suspense and review the backstory. There's always a backstory for me and Dr. Doofenshmirtz. The caffeine is coursing through my veins. I can feel it work. It can make me better than I am, stronger, faster. Perhaps even coherent.

Oh back story. Caffeine helps you focus. See it's working. Friday night I came home from the marvelous Richard Thompson concert. I was on a high. I stopped at Popeye's for dinner and my debit card was rejected. What I didn't have $8 in my account? That's trouble. To make it scarier my card expired next month. When I was in Fort Greene I changed my address to that. When I moved the mail bounced and they bounced me back to my old address in Briarwood. I went to change it and they said I needed proof of my new address. I didn't have any proof. I was staying with friends. Even now it's an off the books arrangement. I do everything paperless so it didn't make a difference, till the new car was supposed to come. That would go to Briarwood. Not only that when school mistakenly sent my pay check to the old address, somebody there cashed it. I couldn't get images of my account being emptied out of my head. Yes they don't have my PIN but they had my card, they were able to cash a check. I know it wasn't rational. So I was pretty much frozen all weekend. The real killer was going to the bank and saying, "this is my new address" and having them say, "Prove it."

There is a branch of my bank almost across the street from my therapist. Not quite but close enough. My plan was to go there before therapy. I knew I wouldn't actually do that. I needed the therapy to get me there. Before I left I told you what happened here but in less detail. My life is an open book blog.

I finished my first cup of coffee and started on the second. In the beginning god created coffee. If he hadn't he'd never been able to do all that other creating. They can't even get the myths right. With the coffee it is almost believable.

Last week was eventful so I had a lot to talk about in therapy. We spent a lot of time on the good things that happened. That did help. Especially as I didn't have enough money to buy coffee to drink at therapy. The free stuff they offer sucks. Before she left she wanted to know what I'd pick from my toolkit I'd use to get myself over to the bank. I told her, "it's right across the street and I have no choice." That pretty much worked. I did post the "Litany Against Fear" from Dune on my Facebook page. That is something from my anti-anxiety toolkit. But I think it's more about having an excuse to post that. It garnered 22 likes and three comments.

When I got to the bank I found 10 pennies on the ground right outside the door. OK I wasn't broke. I had 10¢. My bank is TD, the nicest bank I've ever been to. That made a big difference. Usually when you walk in and look like you need help somebody comes over and directs you to someone at a desk or to the signup to talk to people at a desk that didn't happen. I didn't see anyone at the desks. But then I saw someone at the furthest desk. I walked over to him. As usual he greeted me with a smile. I joked about having trouble finding him. He joked back that he was hiding. I told him what happened immediately. He asked for my card and my ID. I pushed it across the desk but my driver's license went flying. I apologized and he said he's seen much worse. People really do throw thing in anger. And he was so nice. They had to be having a really bad day. I said I knew the problem wasn't his fault, it could be the fault of someone else at the bank, someone in the computer offices in Toronto but not him. He said they were actually in Mount Laurel NJ. Then it hit me. Who lives in Mount Laurel? Paul! And he has mad computer skilz. It was totally him. I told the banker. He agreed and said that Paul just did it to mess with me! See he knows! That's totally something Paul would do. And Paul was extra clever. He made sure to do it when he was in Rumania so he'd have an alibi. Like he couldn't have just set the attack up to take place then. Paul I'm not stupid. Yes I'm crazy, but not stupid.

The banker, I forgot his name. I am an idiot, found out that there was a hold on the card and he said he'd get me a new one. The problem was with the address. It came up as bad. I imagine that they sent the card to Briarwood and it was returned. He changed my address. He didn't ask for proof. He doesn't know why the last time they did. I mean why would I use an address I don't live at? In about 15 minutes, it was all taken care of. I'm back on my feet financially

Then came the celebrating. First I got bagels like I always do after therapy. Then instead of going home and eating the chicken I had taken out I decided to feast out. I headed east because I knew I wanted to go to Davey's for ice cream for dessert. I ended up at Crif Dog and ordered what for some bizarre reason is not known as the Gordon. It's a hot dog with bacon, peanut butter, and potato chip crumbs. If that isn't designed for me what is? Come on people this should be obvious. When they first opened I was friends with the owner. We bonded over the Mets. I thought he was just some guy that worked there. Anyway maybe if I walk in wearing Mets gear and ask to talk to him he'll change the name. Oh and it is as good as it sounds.

Then I went to Davey and had my usual, a hot fudge sundae with one scoop of chocolate chocolate (not a typo) and one of strong coffee. Food has charms to sooth the savage breast.

I then went home because I promised the landlady I'd pay the rent when I did. She never picked it up. I still have it. And that meant that I couldn't go see Tara O'Grady do her usual Monday night gig. I wanted to, it would have been part of the celebrating. Who wants to go with me next week?

Walking back to the subway I had some extra joy. I walked past Pete and Maura's house and thought I might run into them. I didn't. But I ran into Jason Trachtenburg. I often run into his wife Tina at Union Square after therapy. She's the fabled pigeon lady. She makes and sells model pigeons. This wasn't at Union Square but not that far and he was helping her schlep her stuff. I had the pleasure or stopping and talking to him for a while. He's not only a fav musician but a fun person to talk to. Maybe next week I'll run into their daughter Rachel. Always enjoy all Trachtenburg conversations.

I got home and didn't do much but I did get to talk to LORi. I still have things that need taking care of but was still on anxiety overload. Maybe I can do somethings today. It's been a rough few days.

OK now to make brunch. Oh before that I have to make cold brew for tomorrow. That was the real purpose of making coffee early. It takes 24 hours to brew.





Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
Late to Bed and Late to Rise - September 30, 2017
On Your Feet or On Your Knees - September 29, 2017
Why Life Doesn't End on Closing Day - September 28, 2017
Anna and King of I Am - September 27, 2017



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Horvendile June 30, 2015
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