I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
January 29, 2016 - 1:21 p.m.
I had a bad day yesterday. I didn't leave the house. I had planned on going to see the catalytic Caitlin Mahoney at Rockwood last night but fell asleep and when I woke up it was too late to make it on time. She went on at 10, and that was a little after 9:00. I then realized that I wanted to be there for another show at 9:00 by a band I didn't know but was recommended by someone, I think Jake. Sigh. I hate when I do things like that. It's been way too long since I've seen Caitlin. There is also the element of being upset at myself for giving in to ennui. I have nothing on my calendar today but I'm going out. If nothing else, I'll go to the PO box. I didn't get a notification that I had something but I suspect Honor's CD will be there.
I could rant about how stupid Stargate Atlantis is but that would lead to the question of how stupid I am to watch it. I had to stop because my stupidity buffer was filled. Is buffer the right word? I feel like we have something in our minds where we file things that bother us and when it gets filled we can't take any more. Then like Popeye we say "That's all I can stands. I can't stands no more." Many of the stupidest things iv'e done have happened when I have reached that point.
I went back to ripping CDs last night. I have had some of them for years. I have no idea where some of them came from, I never heard of the artist. Somebody probably put them in my hand at NERFA. Some I know who they are by and feel bad I haven't listened yet. Some I haven't listened to for a reason. I really need to say "no thank you." When offered CDs. I don't want to hurt people's feelings so I take them. The odds of me liking a random CD are small. If I find someone interesting to talk to the odds go up quite a bit. The next challenge is listening to them. I wish that Windows Media Player still had the recently added playlist. I could go through that. Ah they do, it's just hidden. The problem now is that it lists the songs but not the album or the artist. So I have to find where one album ends and the next starts then listen to the album. Now I'm listening to the Clancy Brothers Ceili Band. That's what they were back in Ireland before they came to New York. Is it all instrumentals? The first two songs are. I hear step dancing.
I am getting more comfortable asking people for albums to play on the radio. I'm still asking people I know, not strangers, but I'm asking by email or Facebook and not in person. Some acts I know will just give me if I ask, they'll offer but others require some nerve on my part to ask. My therapist will be happy I'm getting up the nerve. But that's a bit of a cheat, my social anxieties are not the crippling ones. I don't even know if they ae stronger than most people though they are shaped differently. I spend a lot of time thinking about my relationship with people; how I feel about them and how they feel about me.
I took a break from listening to CDs to listen to Amazon Prime because they have Dave Carter and Tracy Grammer. I just needed to hear Drum Hat Buddha. When it's done I'm listening to Tanglewood Tree. It's WFUV's fault. They asked, "What song would you like played at your funeral." I said, Go Like the Raven. Then I realized I meant When I Go. I always confuse those two. Hey the both have "Go" and birds. "When I go says "I'll Fly Like the Falcon." It doesn't mean I'm a total idiot.
I was going to write about my favorite musicians back when I was in college and grad school. It might not be what you'd expect based on what I like now. Just writing that much makes me want to write it now. OK. I'll leave Yoda for tomorrow. Yes I was going to write about something Yoda said. You can look forward to that.
So what was I listening to between the ages of 18-28. I think that's about the years I'm talking about. It's maybe more till I was 31 and got a CD player. This is my vinyl collection. I'm using as a memory aid a list I put online in 2004 or so of all the CDs I had. I replaced most of the vinyl with CDs. All the artists I had multiple albums of should be on there. I should link to the list, My Albums
The first three artists I got albums by were Simon and Garfunkel, Bob Dylan, and Arlo Guthrie. I don't think there's anything that out of line with the Folky people think of me as but that was not he majority of what I listened to. We are talking 1975-1985 here. I was keeping up with what was new but also filling in what I had missed of the recent past, the mid-sixties to mid-seventies along with roots music going back far earlier. I'll leave out classical. If you asked me what my favorite type of music was I'd probably have said "Classical rock" not "Classic Rock" I meant what now would be thought of as Prog Rock. Ok so here's a list in the order I have them online to which I'll append what comes to me that isn't on the list. I divided this list by genre, I'm going to start with rock, just because I was just talking about that. I 'm not going to divide it into genres here as I have lost my faith in the usefulness of genres. I'm going to bold the ones I listened to the most.
Let's say I had to narrow down to ten favorites, my core, who would it be.
So that's what my musical tastes grew out of. It killed me cutting that list down to ten. There's not much that I'm embarrassed about or grew out of. My flirtation with Billy Joel was short-lived. Wow that's it. There are more I'm embarrassed aren't on there. I might have had multiple Joni Mitchell's but I didn't have many and I didn't have Blue and she was not in heavy rotation. I was late to Springsteen and even later to the Ramones.
I learned my rock from WNEW and my folk from reading. Every year I'd send it postcards to the WNEW vote of top songs and every year I'd vote for Stairway to Heaven and every year it would come out on top. I am not one of those people that disavow it now. It's an amazing song, one of the greatest ever.
Tomorrow I'll go to Yoda, politics, and philosophy, and preaching; unless I chicken out or something exciting happens today.
Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
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