I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
-Bertrand Russell

What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell

August 15, 2013 - 10:33 a.m.

U-Bet Your Life

Captain's Log Supplemental: I have for the most part finished writing about Falcon Ridge but there was one thing I left out. This has such import that it needs its own entry.

Most years as the Jewish guy from New York it is my job to bring the egg cream fixings to the Budgiedome. As my life has been in a bit of an uproar this year that job fell to the shiksa from Philly LORi. She deliberately brought Hershey's not U-Bet. She said "you need less" which is not only wrong but irrelevant. An egg cream is made with Fox's U-Bet! Yes I drank it just like I'll eat Pizza Hut if I'm out of New York and can't get real pizza but that doesn't make it real pizza. And egg cream made with Hershey's syrup is an abomination. The worst part is she doesn't appreciate that she has committed a crime against humanity.

Please do me a favor. I know you are filled with anger. You are deciding if she should be stoned or burnt at the stake (whenever that's the choice choose burning you can make s'mores) but restrain yourself. Treat her as if she were a decent human being even though we know she isn't. We have no need to take justice into our own hands. Her enormity is so great that the very fabric of spacetime has changed that a special hell has been created for her. She is doomed to the torment of drinking fake Hershey's concoctions while watching everyone else drink glorious U-Bet egg creams. I can just see her smirking and saying "that's not bad." But we know better. Over the ages she will learn. She will see the divine euphoria brought on by U-Bet. But U-Bet is not just just but also merciful and her torture will not last for eternity. It will end when she sees the light, admits her sin, and accepts U-Bet as the egg cream savior. Then she will only suffer for another thousand years. I mean it only becomes torment after she realizes what she's missing. A thousand years of despair seems a light sentence in light of her crime.





Annoying People - September 03, 2016
This Play Was The Pits - September 02, 2016
Banking on Getting Better or Avoiding Katastrophe. - September 01, 2016
Unlike Gilligan I Got Off the Island - August 31, 2016
Call of the Wilder - August 30, 2016




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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 License. Horvendile August 15, 2013
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