I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
-Bertrand Russell

What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell

March 31, 2013 - 11:29 a.m.

Tear Stained Letter

I spent all of yesterday alone. I didn't talk to anyone. Well OK I spoke to people when I bought things but I didn't have any conversations. I was and I'm still in a really bad emotional state. I got around it yesterday when I updated by being funny. What am I going to do today? I think I'm going to talk about not my big problem but the problem that makes me have trouble dealing with my big problem. but first I'll talk about my other big problem. Two months ago I got new glasses. I was so excited that I could see again. My eyes have totally deteriorated again. I can't see well at all. I can't read street signs at night. Am I going blind? Will Obamacare get here already. Will the people that are fighting it get my health problems? Will somebody come up with a better name than Obamacare? I never felt that he deserved the credit for it. He didnt fight for it. He didn't lead. He let congress handle it. Pelosicare would be better.

I'm going to call an audible. You don't want to hear me say "woe is me." Some people said some very nice things in response to my saying "I'm unhappy" on Facebook. Thank you people.

John Platt just came through without trying to. He's doing a show of blessings for Easter and just played this:

OK this is ironic. I got tears on my index finger so the touch pad on my computer wouldn't work and I couldn't get to the song I want play to make myself feel better. Do you know THE song I listen to to raise my spirits?

I finished listening to that and John is playing Judy Collins singing Amazing Grace.

WQXR has been doing something wonderful. Playing all of Bach and nothing but Bach. It puts me in mind of a great quote by Lewis Thomas I first saw it in the program guide for "Basically Bach." I can't find the beginning of it anywhere. It starts with saying what message he would send to the stars as part of the CETI (Communicating with Extraterrestrial Intelligence) program.

''Perhaps the safest thing to do at the outset, if technology permits, is to send music. This language may be the best we have for explaining what we are like to others in space, with least ambiguity. I would vote for Bach, all of Bach, streamed out into space, over and over again. We would be bragging of course, but it is surely excusable to put the best possible face on at the beginning of such an acquaintance. We can tell the harder truths later.''

John Platt is over and I'm back to listening to Bach.

Oh I didn't tell you what I did yesterday to feel better. I went into the City to get coffee and sundries from Trader Joe's. Then I self medicated. I went to Stand 4. I told the hostess I didn't need a menu, that I wanted a toasted marshmallow giant shake. When I go there I always think of getting that but then can't resist the peanut butter cup shake. It's chocolate, it's peanut butter. It's my two basic meds together. It is the best shake I've had anywhere. Ethan insisted I have the toasted marshmallow. I did. It is the best shake I've had anywhere, but not better than the peanut butter cup. They are equal. I don't know how they do it. It tastes like a perfect toasted marshmallow. It even has the caramelized skin flavor. Just so you know how perfect it is they put two toasted marshmallow's in it. It's very expensive $8 but it's worth every penny. I dont think the burgers and fries are worth it. It will cost you close to $30 for a burger, fries, and a shake there with the tax and tip. Eat someplace else but get a shake there.

Ok writing about that got the tears out of my eyes. The power of dessert, it's like an oasis in the desert.

I have simple tastes, give me some music, dessert, baseball, and love and I'm happy.

I'm going to work on some baseball today. My fantasy league's freeze list is due. OY. I wish I had my desktop set up. That has software I need. I'm going to have to go yet anther year without my scientific evaluations of what players are worth. It doesn't tell you how well they will perform in the future but given the production it tells how much to pay for them. The prices you see on guides are often way out of line.

I never actually got a point today but I'm going to call it quits and have an omelet for breakfast.

Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
Late to Bed and Late to Rise - September 30, 2017
On Your Feet or On Your Knees - September 29, 2017
Why Life Doesn't End on Closing Day - September 28, 2017
Anna and King of I Am - September 27, 2017

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Horvendile March 31, 2013
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