I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
-Bertrand Russell

What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell

July 30, 2013 - 10:41 a.m.

Blondie Ambition

When you write a word document what view do you use? I only use Draft. I find anything else annoying.

I had another bad anxiety day yesterday but I won't go into that too much. I got nothing done before therapy. My therapist suggested I make a list of positive and negative emotional interactions with people. I think her idea was that I'd see that there were more positives but I got caught up with the statistical analysis aspects of it. You know I love keeping stats. The problem is a pure list and counting entries on each side of the ledger doesn't tell you once. Look at this possible list.

GoodBad
random stranger says he likes my shoes
acquaintance gives me a donut
friend thanks for me donating my kidney in a FB comment
waiter says I made a good choice ordering
Wife leaves me and says her life has been a hell with me

Yeah there are more things in the left column but I don't think that gives you the proper balance of things. What it needs is a weighting factor. The first factor to consider is how close I am to a person. I started to think about how I would classify my friends and there are some that are unique. So I throw them into "A class of 1." Then I give this weighting factor.

1, strangers and acquaintances
2. friends
3. close friends
4. class of 1

Then I have to multiply that number by how intense the interaction was. Gave me a kidney is a lot better than gave me a donut. So you rate each interaction 1-4. You then multiply the two ratings to get the weighting. Something tells me that geeking out was not the best therapeutic approach.

After therapy I went to trader Joe's for things I needed and headed home. My original plan was to go to school to get some computer stuff done but then realized I couldn't actually do them on the school computer with its security blocks. I only had an hour after I got home before I had to go out again so I didn't get anything done. I also missed seeing Anthony da Costa who didn't announce the show till yesterday. I would have had to put the stuff I bought in my fridge and turned right around.

Almost forgot my Trader Joe's story. If you know me you'll almost be able to figure out the end. You won't get it quite right as there is a slight twist. I went to get coffee. I'm almost out. I also needed butter and bread and I can't go there and not get snacks. I got my stuff got on the long line, Waited on it for 15 minutes and realized I forgot to get the coffee. So I didn't do my usual remembering after I left. And I didn't even have to go to the back of the line. The line went past the coffee aisle so I picked it up when I was there.

The reason I had to go out again was to see The Pretty Babies at Arlene's Grocery. The Pretty Babies are one of Tammy Faye Starlite's projects. I've been an on and off again fan of hers for ages. I first saw her in Coed Prison Sluts back in 1991. She must have been 12 then. Today is her birthday. Happy birthday Tammy. You won't see her name in the credits. She was Tammy Lang then. I saw that with Bad Carey, Good Carey calls it "the musical that cannot be name." A rare instance where Bad Carey has better taste. Of course once I get Good Carey to see Tammy doing Nico she'll come around. I then saw Tammy in a series of improve comedy/performance art pieces. Then I totally lost track of her. This was before the internet. I didn't have a way of keeping in touch. Then one day I was in Tower Records. I wasn't actually looking at the rack, I think I had come out of the bathroom and was on my way out. BUT I saw a really hot blond on a CD cover. It caught my eye. I looked closer and saw it was Tammy's picture but it said "Tammy Faye Starlite" on it. I bought it of course and then saw a listing in the Village Voice or New York Press for her playing and saw her as Tammy Faye. That went on for a few years. She even did "What I Like About Jew." Then I lost touch again. Then just last year I saw a listing for a gig by her, reconnected, liked her FB page, friended her personal page, and now I'm back to being a regular. So now you're up to speed. I always feel the need to explain this as she is out of my usual circles.

It's hard to say what Tammy does. She does tribute shows but that gives you totally the wrong impression. In the Nico show she's an actress playing the part of Nico. Last night her band was doing Blondie but she started out of character and said "Tonight we are Blondie." I'm not even sure if they've ever done this before or if the Pretty Babies existed other than last night. So what she does is not reworkings of the songs. It isn't what I usually look for in a cover. It's an over the top caricature of the original. More than anyone else I see Tammy is a performer. It's always performance art.

I got to Arlene's ten minutes before showtime and found one of the few seats along the wall. They have real chairs with backs, not just stools! I need that. It still wasn't comfortable because in a room with no windows there was no air conditioning or even ventilation. It was hot, sticky, and the air was stale. There was an act on when I got there but I was so uncomfortable the fact that I didn't enjoy it has nothing to do with the artist. When Tammy came on she complained and they turned on the air. Whew.

So I sat there uncomfortable but happy I got a great seat. Then other people came in. Not a lot, the place wasn't crowded. There was plenty of room. Despite this one of the first people to come in was a guy that decided that the one place that he HAD to stand was a foot in front of me. What is up with someone like that. Does he think he's invisible? Does he just not care that he blocks someone's view when there was absolutely no necessity? Was he aware and got a feeling of power from it? Whatever it was he's a schmuck. I had to get up and stand. There was a great spot center stage where I didn't block anyone else and had better sound and a better view than where the schmuck stood. It just was not as comfortable as sitting.

Of course part of me enjoys the getting to rant at him and I might have had more fun standing and dancing. Well Ok sort of moving to the music. The schmuck did your standard bad white guy dancing. I enjoyed thinking I would write that.

I noticed a woman off to my write who danced well. The totally not embarrassing but not showing off kind of dance. It ended up that she became part of the show when Tammy singled her out and said that she was boring, said everyone should say she was boring when she pointed at her and then sang a song with the lyrics "you're boring." I didn't know the song and I'm probably getting it wrong now. It isn't easy not having a brain. It was all an obvious set up and the woman was Tammy's friend. The point being it was fun.

She did another obscure song, what she called a deep cut, that has the word "theosophy" in it. do any of my gentle readers know the word? I do. Do you know the song? I don't. But I loved it.

What did I do for dinner, That's right Philly Cheese Steak. I ate it in the train station. Waiting at the station was painful as there was a two piece band on the other side, a trumpet and a drummer. The drummer's idea of drumming was to play as loudly as possible. I think my ears started to bleed and they were not even on my platform. A trumpet and drum kit shouldn't be played on a subway platform unless you are very good. I came up with a few answers as to how you know you are good enough. You're names are Dizzy Gillespie and Buddy Rich. You have enough musical sense to not play super loud on a subway platform. Katherine said that Roosevelt Dime is an exception to the rule. She's right because not only are they great but Tony doesnt think that the louder you play your drum the better.

When I got home I tried to do On Your Radar and First Acoustics stuff but the guy was using all the WiFi bandwith again. I spoke to the landlady who said that's speak to the guy. He must be downloading movies or something. The speed went from the 40 mbps when I use the Wifi alone down to 1 mbps and most of the time the speed test couldn't even be completed as it came to a complete stop.

Now I'm going to eat breakfast then get to work on First Acoustics and On Your Radar. I have to do them during the day when he isn't hogging the WiFi.

Oh hell I'm going to copy the letter I sent to Anthony Weiner yesterday in response to his email to me on how he won't quit the Mayoral race.

You were my congressmen,. I voted for you every time. I met you. I handed out literature for you. I support your positions and that's why I am begging you to put the common good above your ego and ambition. You hurt the progressive cause just as Sanford hurt the conservative one. This is not a conspiracy of pundits. The common people, people who supported you, think that you've damaged your credibility beyond hope of quick repair. Use your drive, you brilliance, your passion to support a good cause, not your personal ambition. Work with a nonprofit. Help other people. Then maybe when you've done that and learned to control your weakness you can return to politics.

That email inspired the most popular post I ever made on Facebook.

I just got an email from Anthony Weiner. I clicked on "Always show images from Anthony Weiner." That could be a mistake.





Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
Late to Bed and Late to Rise - September 30, 2017
On Your Feet or On Your Knees - September 29, 2017
Why Life Doesn't End on Closing Day - September 28, 2017
Anna and King of I Am - September 27, 2017



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Horvendile July 30, 2013
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