I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
-Bertrand Russell

What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell

November 18, 2012 - 5:07 p.m.

Riding the Curl

I didn't do anything I had to do today. I'm having one of my anxiety days. I feel like a neophyte surfer caught in a tsunami. I'm managing to not fall off the board but I'm never exactly balanced.

So here's a minor adjustment I'm making now. I don't have thanksgiving plans. I thought that I had plans but there was failure to communicate. Thanksgiving has been something of an adventure every year since my mother died. I don't have standard Thanksgiving plans that I do every year. One year I made no plans and actually enjoyed it. I spent it in my apartment. Here's what I wrote about it. I just reread it and I liked it. But I had my apartment then. I was home. I'd rather not spend the holiday alone and I still feel awkward asking to be invited. I don't want someone to say, "Poor Horvendile spending Thanksgiving alone, I'll invite him." But if you were thinking, "I bet Horvendile has plans but if he didn't I'd invite him," I don't have plans.

I'm going to feel awkward no matter what I do. I'll feel bad spending the holiday alone. I'll feel awkward being the odd man out at a family gathering. I could volunteer at a soup kitchen. That's a thought. There are a lot of people in need this post Sandy Thanksgiving. Thing is I'm one of those people in need. I might as well be proactive and try and keep on the surfboard a little longer. I risk wiping out no matter what I do including doing nothing. I'll write this and maybe later write about NERFA and maybe start thinking about Festivus. As for now curling in a ball and listening to Ron Olesko on WFDU sounds like a plan.

Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
Late to Bed and Late to Rise - September 30, 2017
On Your Feet or On Your Knees - September 29, 2017
Why Life Doesn't End on Closing Day - September 28, 2017
Anna and King of I Am - September 27, 2017

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Horvendile November 18, 2012
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