I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
-Bertrand Russell

What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell

December 06, 2012 - 12:04 a.m.


Wow it's late. I better start writing. I was tired after school and conked out for a while.

Yesterday I went through a time machine courtesy of Facebook. Sorry that isn't a new app or a feature of Timeline that hasn't rolled out yet. It's something you've known about since you joined Facebook, whenever that was. I went to lunch with Steve. I have not seen Steve since college. The only time we talked between then and connecting on Facebook was after he saw me on Jeopardy and called me. That was 1991. Wow I was on Jeopardy 22 years ago. How can that be? I'm not much older than that.

Steve and I have been talking on and off on FB for a while. He recently moved back to the City and last time we talked he suggested getting together. I jumped in and made a firm time, date, and place before my anxiety could jump in and make me procrastinate. He lives on the Upper West Side near one of my favorite restaurants, the Popover Caf. I love how things can still be in synch between us, he arrived 20 seconds before I did. I saw the back of his head as he walked in and recognized him. Our lives took very different paths but we still have things in common. Hey anyone that has Escher's Circle Limit IV on his wall is my people.

We were both math majors and took many course together. When we look at that pic we say to ourselves "Poincare disk!"

We talked about what's gone on the last 30 years and people we used to know. We dredged up names I haven't thought of since then. We did what people who haven't seen each other in 30 years do. I went back to his house. We looked at this notes from the General Relativity Class we took with Banesh Hoffmann. I still have my notes too, somewhere in storage. The only notes I kept. I love that his were readily accessible. He didn't have to hunt for them.

My head has been filled with things to write about that I have not had time to include because I've been so busy. Now I have a chance and they are all running away from my head. If nothing else I can do some metablogging. I went out every night from Thursday through Monday doing special things. I was filled with adrenaline and they made me happy. That doesn't mean that I was always happy though. In fact I've been quite troubled. My anxieties are at very high level. It's about being homeless. I'm scared a lot of the time. I still hide it well. You won't notice it unless we start talking about it and then I'll probably try and change the subject. That's part of the problem. I want to talk about it but I can't. Yes that's what my therapist is for and we do talk about it. It's why I sometimes get worked up after therapy. But I'd like to be able to talk about it with friends but the intersection of the set of people I can talk about it with and the set of people that can listen to me talk about it appears to be ∅, the empty set.

So lets get off that and onto things I intend on writing about soon. One is my top albums of 2012. Unfortunately some of the albums are on my computer that I can't access yet. If I make the list now I might be forgetting some of my favorites. If I hadn't just seen her I'd have forgotten Anas's "Young Man in America." Then there is the question of how I handle my friends. Most of the albums I got this year are by people that I know. I don't buy very many CDs. When I do I'm at shows. When Im at a show I usually know the performer. If I don't before the show I do by the time I leave. If I make a list people will think to themselves, "I thought I'd be on it." I don't want to disappoint friends but if I am not willing to do that the list is pointless. So what I'm doing now is screwing up my courage. I'm also making a list of nominees.

I also want to write about what I'm reading, "The Children of Hurin" by J.R.R. Tolkien edited by his son Christopher. I love it beyond love. It is so sad.

I don't know what happened with school. I missed so many classes but I somehow finished the curriculum early. Part of it is that I cut out a lot of material. Another part is that I gave the students practice exams before each tests. I don't like doing that but it improves their grades a ridiculous amount. I hate that it does that but I think they might actually be learning a bit more. Of course the fact that nobody can derive the quadratic formula argues against that. They should do well on the next test on the final. We are having two review sessions for the test and another two for the final. I will probably make it more like one and a half for the test and two and a half for the final. These students will love me.

I got some great validation today. I was talking to some colleagues about a student of one of theirs that just now came in asking for a make-up for the first test. That brought the subject of excuses that students give and one mentioned a student that claimed his mother died but another teacher told him that the same student said his mother died the previous semester. So that got me top show them the course outline I give the class. I showed it to my colleagues. This is my policy on deaths and funerals.

If you are attending a funeral a copy of the death certificate must be provided. This is for the good of your family. The mortality rate for family members of my students dropped dramatically after I instituted this rule. Previously some students lost as many as three grandmothers in the course of a semester

That got my colleagues laughing out loud. Humor is the most gratifying art form. When it works you know it. People can't fake spontaneous laughter. One teacher kept a copy and is going to give it to his students. Feel free to use it yourself if you like.

That made me feel better. Now I'm ready to go to bed. No adventures planned for tomorrow. Maybe I'll get some decent writing in. I do have things to say.

Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
Late to Bed and Late to Rise - September 30, 2017
On Your Feet or On Your Knees - September 29, 2017
Why Life Doesn't End on Closing Day - September 28, 2017
Anna and King of I Am - September 27, 2017

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Horvendile December 06, 2012
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