I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
April 14, 2018 - 12:23 p.m.
WFUV has started its pledge drive and that always wreaks havoc on my blogging schedule. I woke up at 4:10 yesterday, my alarm was set for 4:35, and I was out of the house by 4:55. I usually don't get up until 8:30. I'm not a morning person. To make it worse my digestive system kept me up and forced me out of bed much of the night. Somehow, I was not exhausted. Maybe it's that I had three cups of coffee when I got to the station.
I try to get to the station early the first day of the drive, so I can find out what's new and make sure everything is set up right. I thought I might be late when the first BX12 bus drove by without stopping. The BX12 SELECT didn't even show up on the Bus Time website. I still get there 15 minutes early, the way for the next BX12 was short.
Linda let me in and I set up the phones and made sure all the computers were up and running. The computers are checked the day before but that doesn't stop something from going wrong after they are checked. Because I was good and didn't wait to discover computer problems when people started they were all in good shape. I hope you realize that's a joke. I don't believe in magic.
There was a small crew the first shift, Bill, Jim not Jim, and a new student, Aishlin. I'm showing off I remembered their names, especially Aishlin who I just met. It helps that it's an unusual Irish name. Who knows how to pronounce it? The first "i" is silent. It's ash-lin. I'm slowing learning how to pronounce Irish, very slowly. Most names still baffle me.
Later we were joined by Jim, the other supervisor and Aishlin was replaced by Shelby, Erica, and Brent. Enough showing off my awesome memory; especially as I'm probably forgetting people and I'm not sure about Brent's name.
There are always wrinkles to be smoothed out the first day, that keeps me busy. Because we were shorthanded, and many people called, I had to take pledges; the horror. Since we went paperless I enjoy taking pledges. I'm a decent typist and many of the callers are fun to talk to. So are the other volunteers, the students, and the station staff. WFUV is home turf. I've been around longer than almost everyone there. We had a match yesterday and everyone that donated $108 got the new John Prine CD as a bonus and the stars were aligned just right, so the phones were busy. The stars being aligned right was just a metaphor for "unknown reasons." I still don't believe in magic.
The real reason I go is the food, especially breakfast, sausageeggandcheese wraps. I didn't even tough the lunch, which came late. I had peanut butter on a bagel instead. I love that too.
I couldn't stay all day as I had both a psychiatrist and a therapist session scheduled. Then I got a call that the psychiatrist was out sick, so I stayed an extra hour.
The last leg of getting to the therapist was frustrating. I can get the MetroNorth right next to the Fordham campus. It came on time and I got to Harrison 18 minutes before the bus is scheduled to arrive. When it wasn't there by 2:13, I checked on Google Maps. The Westchester buses are equipped with a GPS that reports in position but instead of posting the info on a website or app like New York does, they just give the info to Google Maps and the only way to access it is to use Google maps to plan your trip. I did that, and it said the bus would be in at 2:26, 18 minutes late. That was so late that I checked the printed schedule to see if they changed it. They hadn't. While I was up someone took my seat facing the bus stop. I went to the bus shelter. I have complained about this before. The shelter faces away from the bus stop. If you sit in it, you can't see the bus come. It's hard to imagine what idiocy led to that. I have never seen that anywhere else. I had plenty of time, so I sat with my back to the bus stop and read the Times on my phone. At 2:18 I look up and there's the bus turning the corner. The GPS was wrong. The bus was stopped because of traffic and a light. I ran to it. The driver would not let me board. He told me to get away. There is another stop a long block away. I ran full speed. The bus passed me. When the bus stopped I thought it was for me, it rarely stops there. Instead somebody got on. I kept running and shouting "Waaaaaait!" As I got close the drive pulled away. He knew I was there. Was this out of spite? Now I had 25 minutes to make the 30- minute walk to the hospital. I considered walking when the train pulled in, but I didn't because it had warmed up so much. When I left the house it was 57°, now it was 77°. I put my hoodie and windbreaker in my bag and was carrying them, but I still had jeans on. I was also worried about sunburn. I didn't get burned but I'm sure the back of my neck got tanned. I was winded and fuming at the bus driver when I arrived.
I spent the first part of the session venting about the bus driver and the idiot that positioned that bus shelter. That helped. Do people that have not been in therapy realize how freeform therapy is? Is it like that with all therapists? People rarely talk about what goes on in sessions, so you don't hear what goes on. That's part of why I tell you what I feel comfortable telling you.
I finally relaxed enough to discuss other problems, some more related to my issues and other specific to the week. My therapy homework is making a list of my successes and I finished with that, so I'd go off on a high note.
I headed home and for the most part relaxed. Tonight, I'm off to celebrate Gene's birthday at the Met game. My alarm is set for 5:30 tomorrow morning; I am not going to get much sleep. For more fun it's fireworks night; my choices are missing them or give up even more sleep. Then I do a 13-hour shift that the station. I might just mainline coffee.
You won't hear from me again until Monday, if then. We'll see if I'm up to it then. Now for breakfast. Matzoh brei, I won't get that at the station.
I signed the Pro-Truth Pledge:
please hold me accountable.
The Adventure of Anna & Elizabeth at the Red Fish - April 24, 2018
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