I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
January 04, 2015 - 12:26 p.m.
I did not go out yesterday and wasn't very social. Heather called me and we talked for a bit but that was it for contact with the outside world. I was alone with my thoughts. I have been afraid of that for a while. I'm not usually afraid to be alone. For most of my life I enjoy it and need alone time. But now with my life in turmoil my thoughts are too. But I'm still a cheerful hobbit and my thoughts will still go off to weird and fun places. It's what I do.
When I'm trying to keep sane I have my go to distractions and classic Doctor Who is one of the best. I watched The Power of Kroll part of the season long Key to Time story arc. It had one of the archetypal Tom Baker moments. The Doctor and his assistant Romana are tied to a torture device. They are tied to vines that will shrink as they dry out and slowly tear them apart. Tom as the Doctor starts obsessing on a window on the building that is architecturally out of place. That is what the fourth Doctor was about.
I watched more of Jazz. It's up to Charlie Parker and Dizzy Gillespie. This is when Jazz starts disconnecting with me. But here's the thing as I've been watching the series and hearing so much jazz I'm now starting to get it. It's great. I always knew there was something to the music. I took a break to fill up a baggie with ice to put on my shoulder. I found myself humming some jazz in that style. But here's the thing, it wasn't something I heard, it was something I was writing spontaneously. Now I dod that, quite a bit. Melodies come to my head and I start humming them before I am aware that I'm doing it. Once the conscious brain catches on it becomes tougher. But I did a pretty good job last night. Duh, I said I was going to record what I write next time I liked it but I forgot to. Now of course it is totally gone. This spontaneous songwriting is the only manifestation I have of musical talent. And I never said that it was good. Just that I liked it. OK I just read what I wrote. I said it was pretty good. So much for false modesty. Isaac Asimov always said that honesty is more important than modesty.
I got up very early this morning, 7 AM. So I put on WfUV, "Mountain Stage was on" and fell back asleep. I kept on drifting in an out of sleep for a few hours. I finally fully woke up in time to hear John Platt announce that he had just played Meg Braun's Holland Town. That's the favorite song that I've heard on her new album that's coming out next week. He also promote the CD release party on Saturday that I unfortunately have to miss. He then played a song from Mark Allen Berube's new CD Sticky. I'm going to the CD release party for that today. I'll be selling the CD. You should go. It's at First Acoustics at 5 PM. I'm going to have a lot of friends there. I will at Meg's too. Hers is at the new The Living Room. I still haven't been there.
John's show is over now an I was listening to some random stuff and heard an absolutely dreadful song. I won't tell you who it was by. It sounded like a fifth grader trying to write poem and thinking that means write obvious rhymes. So I won't tell you the song but I'll write a mockery in the same style.
I want to goI am getting less and less patience for trite songwriting. I'm sorry but having a pretty voice does not make up for singing trash. I would so love to have my own radio show or concert venue. There's so much mediocrity out there. The special music is but a small fraction but there's so much music out there that the absolute amount of good music is more than enough. Oh my next idea to become a billionaire; Shake and Folk. It's a music venue/ice cream parlor. The front room is a conventional ice cream parlor but the music on the juke box is all folk and acoustic using a very broad use of the genres. In the evenings a lesser known artist will play for tips. So it will be like Rockwood Music Hall stage one but more comfortable and serving ice cream instead of booze so it will be all ages. There will be a backroom open in the evening as primarily a listening room with paid admission but again with a menu of ice cream, milk shakes, and overpriced coffee. Hey we have to make money and I do love coffee. And we can even sell spiked milk shakes and really overcharge. Wouldn't you like to hear Dar Williams while sipping on a really good milk shake? Sounds like heaven to me. You better not steal my idea! I'll sue if you try.
I just started beating myself so I'm going to eat breakfast. Not sure how I'm making my eggs. I might even go for pancakes but I'm thinking probably poached.
This was not at all what I was planning on writing. Perhaps it's or the best.
Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
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