I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
January 19, 2017 - 4:28 p.m.
Yesterday was Wednesday which means therapy. I also had a psychiatrist appointment. The problem was I was caught in Catch 22. I need therapy and a psychiatrist because of paralyzing anxiety issues. Medicaid pays for it. There were problems with my Medicaid caused by my not doing things. The exact things that trigger the paralysis. I overcame it enough yesterday to do something about it. My therapist was proud of me. I didn't have therapy, as I was busy having it taken care of. I did see the psychiatrist. She was also proud of me. I felt like I went through the wringer. I told the psychiatrist that the dealing with Medicaid killed me. She said I looked alive. I told her that I'm a zombie. I don't think she believed me. You do, right? Am I going to have to start eating brains? I'm sure they aren't bad deep fried with lots of garlic. Good thing I'm not a vampire. Just think, that talk isn't why I see a psychiatrist.
Last night I wanted to see the Bombadils at Rockwood Music Hall. I love them but the show was at 11 PM. Now I could have gotten a ride there and back so missing the bus was not the issue. The problem was that I had to leave the house at 7:30 AM to go to court in support of the outlaw duo of Jane and Bernie, City Island's answer to Bonnie and Clyde. These miscreants were arrested protesting the SPECTRA pipeline at Senator Schumer's Manhattan office. I am blanking on the exact charges but it wasn't littering … … … and disturbing the peace. They were arrested along with 13 others, the Schumer 15. It's just like the Chicago 7. The even had a famous high-powered attorney, Ron Kuby. He used to be William Kunstler's partner. I thought Ron was much older, but he's my age and didn't join Kunstler to the 80s or 90s. He was also the co-host of a radio show with Curtis Sliwa.
We live in City Island; the hearing was at the Municipal Building down near City Hall. We drove to the and planned on taking it all the way down. We ended up being late. That wasn't a disaster. When we got there, we couldn't go right up. The court was at capacity. It's an area of the building recently converted to courtrooms and they aren't large enough. We went through the metal detectors then waited downstairs. When there was enough room we were allowed to go up to the 16th floor where the courtroom was. We found Mr. Kuby outside the courtroom waiting for us. I could go in with Jane and Bernie and sat with them. We waited just a short time and Bernie was called. It was hard to hear what was going on but the judge asked him some personal questions about his history. Then he asked why they were protesting and he told the judge. Jane was the next one called. They just asked her occupation. That was it. Then we left. Mr. Kuby said they'd have a hearing in six months and the charges would probably be dismissed. He was very nice. Nicer than Kunstler who I also met who was more than a bit taken with himself.
I was surprised that I was allowed to go wherever Bernie and Jane went. I told them that I'm with them all the way, unless they get thrown in jail, in which case I never heard of them.
After we left Bernie and Jane met up with some friends of theirs and went out to eat. I went to Trader Joe's. It's just one stop on the but I decided to walk the 1.8 miles as it was a beautiful day. I took some nice pictures. I had never made the walk before. I have walked all the way down the west side but not the east. The neighborhoods are small and change quickly. I went from the courthouse district, think Law & Order to Chinatown/Little Italy, Soho, The Lower East Side, and the East Village. I took one detour to the Library on 2nd Ave by 9th street. I had to use a bathroom and that was the closest nice one in my memory bank.
I got to Trader Joe's much earlier than I usually do. It's much less crowded; it was a pleasure. I bought chicken. I never buy that there as I can get it cheaper on sale at other places but I have nothing in the house for dinner other than hot dogs and I don't want hot dogs.
My blogs are getting shorter. I wrote about one and a half days where I had anxiety problems, went to court, and met a celebrity lawyer and haven't reached 900 words. That's fine. I'm not a bean counter. Unless you are writing a prescripted form; e.g. newspaper column or sonnet, you should write as much as it takes to say what needs to say and not a word more.
Django Unbound - January 26, 2017
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