I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
-Bertrand Russell

What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell

August 26, 2013 - 1:11 p.m.

Sab, Nat, & Tara

I'm doing my normal morning routine online and realizing that my goal is mind control, your mind. Today's National Women's Equality Day and I wanted people to think about that so I posted two videos, "Sister Suffragette" from Mary Poppins and "I'm Gonna Be An Engineer" by Peggy Seeger. I also said that I preferred that as a top for today's WFUV Question of the Day to the one chosen "Songs you sang or would like to sing at karaoke." Then I worked on the sisyphusian task of trying to get the other players to suggest songs that don't date from when they were high school. The newest song played today was Peg from Steely Dan in 1977. You know there have been a lot of really good songs written since then,. And there are lots of great songs that aren't classic rock hits. If I can just get a few people believing that, people not named Fred or Erika. It's Antoine Lavoisier's birthday so I posted a video of Tom Lehrer's the Elements to get people thinking about both chemistry and great humorous music. I just posted a link to this. Crackdown on 'Pastafarians' Shows Kremlin-Church Ties. I usually post to some articles or columns in the NY Times and economic and political blogs, most Paul Krugman's. I'm not so much trying to change people's minds as just getting them to think about some things.

Of course the most important part of the process is writing Wise Madness. So let go back to yesterday, a very long day for me.

Sweet Saburah and natty Natalia are in town from Toronto and the plan was for me to join them for Brunch. We went to my favorite place for brunch Petite Abeille in Chelsea. That meant I had to leave here around 10 AM. That might not sound early to you but it is to me especially when I was out late the night before and didn't go to sleep till well after I got home. I set my alarm for 8 AM so I'd have time to blog first. Yes that's how much I love My Gentle Readers.

Because of this we didn't actually meet till noon.

It was of course well worth the wait. We had nothing planned other than brunch but we ended up spending the entire day today wondering around the village. After the delicious brunch I suggested something I knew Saburah couldn't resist, Cones Ice Cream. She just loves me because I introduced that to her the first time she was here. I might be projecting here. In my world good food takes precedence over everything.

We went to Bleecker Street records and Washington Square Park where we watched the acrobats/dancers/street theater. If you live here you know the show. A group of young black men with less body fat between them than any one man I know do leaps and tumbles and spins that make your head spin and culminate with a leap over people in the crowd � but only after they've hit you up for money. The entire show is accompanied but non-stop comic banter that is not quite politically correct and I think makes a very good point about white people being uncomfortable around young black men. I don't know how this got started but it went viral. It's a regular feature in all the smaller parks .

Then we were off to another of my favorite places The Strand: 18 miles of books. I didn't get anything but Sab did including this:

That's the only pic I took with them. I always say that I should take more pics with friend but when I'm with them I don't want to take the time to take pics. It is a puzzlement. I had told Sab at Natalia about The Order of Odd-Fish at brunch and she said she wanted it and they had a copy! It was in general fiction not YA. That means I can admit that I love it and you can't razz me about it, Even you Jess. Don't worry sometimes the jokes aren't meant for you. Sometimes they aren't even meant for Carey.

It doesn't sound like we did much but that took seven hours. Seven well spent hours. We didn't go to Max Brenner's though we were across the street so the day has to lose points for that.

We parted ways then and I was going to head uptown but instead sat for half an hour on a bench in Union Square? Why? My next stop was the Swing 46 Jazz and Supper Club (I am not giving the link because the website has autoplay and I will not subject you to that) to see the tantalizing Tara O'Grady. There was to be dancing and I had been on my feet for the last six hours. They needed some rest. Then I headed up town. I had a bit of trouble finding it at first as I thought it was called Swing 47. When I couldn't find it I checked the calendar on my phone. I arrived right before the show started

I started to sit down when I saw that Damon was at the next table so I joined him. Now that was not my original plan. I like Damon but he is not my ideal dance partner. My original plans fell through and this morning tried to find someone else to go with me. As you can probably guess asking a woman to go dancing is not easy for me. While I was waiting for Sab and Nat (I know you well enough to use just one syllable right?) I got up the nerve to make a call and ask someone. She answered! She didn't run away when she found out that I wanted her to go dancing with me! She didn't have to, she was in Vegas. I couldn't pull the trigger and ask someone else so I was on my lonesome. I figured I'd ask single women who were there. Yes I find that scary too but somehow I know I can get myself to do that. Of course this was swing dancing and the one time I tried that I was terrible. I had lots of fun dancing with Sarah, Catherine, and Abbie. I also had fun dancing with the woman I didn't know well that I asked to dance but from her "It's so much fun dancing � If I am with someone that knows how to lead" I picked up that she didn't enjoy it. But I was still up for it and there was going to be a dancing lesson.

I though the lesson was going to be at the start but it wasn't. That wasn't the main problem. There was only one single woman in the room, a friend of Tara's. I was not going to start dancing when I didn't know what to do. I realized after the fact that I should have asked her to dance with me to Blue Moon we could have slow danced.

I still was having fun. Tara is not good, she's great. I discovered he just a few weeks ago at John Platt's On Your Radar and she instantly made my favorites list. Her specialty is singing Irish music, you'd never guess from her name that she's Irish would you? In the style of Billie Holiday. did you know that Billie was Irish? Is it her grandfather or great grandfather that's from Ireland? Her real name was Eleanora Fagan. Tara has a song about that Gardenia Girl.

At the first break there was the dance lesson. I immediately asked the only single woman here, who was conveniently sitting right next to me, to dance. She said �. "sorry I'm leaving now." She's rather miss the show than dance with me.

But I danced. With all my anxieties this is something I can handle. At first I danced with the instructor, � , Brian. Yes not exactly my type. Or is the problem that he is my type? But it meant I get a really good lesson and I think I now get the basic 1-step though I have some problems with the 3-step and turns. People started switching partners and I got to dance with real live women. That is better. I don't know why straight women and gay men bother dancing.

The problem was that when Tara came back on the women went back to the men they came with and I was back to being a spectator.

Damon had to leave during the dance lesson. He texted me his regrets So I didn't make him dance with me as a threatened.

I spent the next break talking to Tara. I told her that woke me up in the morning. I figured how to set the alarm sounds on the phone and ironically chose her You Won't Get Me There Tonight. I figured the loud sax at the start would get me moving. It did.

Tara did three sets and there was the dance lesson during one of the breaks. This was a long show, three hours. That's so rare and so nice. I hope she plays there again. I'll make sure to have someone to dance with next time.

Notice I never mention dinner. I had a very large brunch and wasn't that hungry before the show. I ate afterward. That's the nice thing about the City that Never Sleeps you can get dinner at 11:30. I ate at Ranch I, I haven't eaten there in years, at least five. They still have great chicken sandwiches and I love the red pepper sauce.

the trip home took a long time. I had to wait 18 minutes for the . It was after 1 when I got back. I told you it was a long day. But a good one.

I've written a ton and I could end it there but I won't. Everyone was surprised when they found out about my anxiety and had bad it was because I never talked about it. Now I do and I will be honest. Despite all the great stuff going on it was a bad anxiety day. I was find whenever I was talking to Sab and Nat but any time I was alone for a bit it hit me. When I was waiting for them it was very bad. I had no chocolate so I sang. What I sang might surprise you, the hymn Jerusalem by William Blake. I totally disagree with the point of view but the man could write and I love the emotions. There are a few lyrics I always have trouble remembering and it finally hit me that I could look them up on my phone. I now know what comes after "Bring me my spear. ______" "O clouds, unfold." I didn't fully get over the anxiety till some time during Tara's show. It might have been when I was dancing.

No more keeping a stiff upper lip for me. I'm painting a portrait of myself warts and all,

OK now I have to make breakfast. It's really late and I have to get to therapy and shower. Here's a slideshow of the pics I think that the dancers might look good that way.



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please hold me accountable.





Memories: Not that Horrid Song - May 29, 2018
Wise Madness is Now In Session - May 28, 2018
The NFL and the First Amendment - May 27, 2018
On The Road Again - May 26, 2018
Oliver the Three-Eyed Crow - May 25, 2018



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Horvendile August 26, 2013
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