I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
-Bertrand Russell

What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell

April 01, 2013 - 11:03 a.m.

A Walk in the Park

I've gained an online nemesis. It was totally the doing of my nemesis. I thought he/she was just someone who saw things very differently than me and could be annoying. I rarely if ever initiated an interaction. It's totally tame and boring. I want a worthwhile nemesis.

Yesterday I was rescued from my depression/anxiety by Katherine who asked me of I wanted to join her for a walk through Prospect Park. Sure it was on the verge of raining, sometimes drizzling and was hardly a beautiful day but it was what I needed. We were joined by Bella (Sorry Carey not Thorne), Katherine's dog. Since I've been in Brooklyn I've been looking for the waterfalls. Without telling Katherine that I was looking for them she took me there. Not exactly Niagara but pretty. My plan was to walk through the park, go home, then go out to see The Sea The Sea at Pete's Candy Story. That didn't happen. We walked for a long time. Then went to eat, then talked, and then it was time for the concert to start and I was nowhere nearby so I went home. I'll see them in a few weeks with Amy Speace. I was buy enough to not have time to be lonely, anxious, and depressed.

We ran into my dear friend Harvey. I don't think I've told you about him. Here's a picture Katherine took of the two of us.


I didnt recognize myself in that picture but Harvey and Katherine assure me that's what I look like.

What am I going to write about? I know one sort of random thing. In response to the Supreme Court hearing the same sex marriage cases I read someone say a joke I first heard years ago on Law and Order "Why shouldn't they suffer like the rest of us?" Even if you don't remember the line any "L&W" fan can figure out who said that, Lenny Briscoe. I love that joke and I've heard many variants of it. so what's it's appeal? It's that it turns the question on it's head. It just accepts as a given that gays are just like straights. It turns what was an exotic idea into the routine fodder of Catskill comic humor.

Speaking of comics I'm going to be the subject of a comic opera. I think Mozart should write it. Carey has other ideas. No I am not going to explain that.

Today is my favorite day of the year, Opening Day. I'm mot going to the game even though I don't have to work. I always go with Alan. I have not talked to him in months. I miss him. I dont know what happened. My anxiety is keeping me from calling Maybe I'll try later today.

It is the first time ever that the Mets and Yankees are both having home openers on the same day. What's with that? Damn, I'm going to have to miss it because I have therapy. When I'm emotionally distraught like I've been baseball helps. Its an anchor, a constant in a changing world. Like most seasons the Mets don't have much hope of winning.. They might have finally got there act together and drafted decent minor leaguers so there is hope for the future. But no matter. It's Opening Day, the best day of the year. Just because the odds against them being any good are long they are never zero. Anything can happen. That's why it's the best day of the year. I have to remember that the same thing applies to my future.

I was going to do an April Fool's joke about becoming a Yankee fan but even as a joke it would make me feel unclean.

Is there hope for my fantasy baseball team? Of course! I like the core I'm starting with.
Chris Davis
Austin Jackson
Al Alburquerque
Yu Darvish
Ernesto Fieri
Addison Reed
Pedro Strop
Chris Tillman

Their total salary is $9.80 against a league cap of $26. They have an average salary a bit above league average but they are well above league average in production I have two closers and two potential closers. I just have get some position players. Without a catcher there are a lot of passed balls.

I'm all over the place today. Do you like that? I figure for a change of pace it's OK. Yes I wish I remembered the major topics I wanted to discuss but I don't. Maybe I will tomorrow

Somebody on Facebook put up a photo that said something like "If you have Crohn's 'disease, ____________, Anxiety, . you suffer from invisible pain and if you have one of them or know somebody who does post this.

I haad two of the first three, the only ones I remember. I didnt post it and there's no need for my friends too. Yes they are invisible but I'm not inaudible. I'm not ashamed of them and they influence my life and my interactions with other people so I'll bring them up when appropriate. You probably knew I had them. You certainly should know about the anxiety if you are going to deal with me. It can get in the way. If you want to eat with me the Crohn's will likely come up.. Of course I've taken it for using it as an excuse why I don't eat foods I don't like. It's only fair, I have to suffer and not eat corn, I can use it as an excuse to not eat salad.

Breakast beckons. It feels like an bacon and eggs morning.





Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
Late to Bed and Late to Rise - September 30, 2017
On Your Feet or On Your Knees - September 29, 2017
Why Life Doesn't End on Closing Day - September 28, 2017
Anna and King of I Am - September 27, 2017



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Horvendile April 01, 2013
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