I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
-Bertrand Russell

What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell

August 19, 2012 - 10:20 a.m.

Free Parking

I'm still having anxiety issues. It took me forever to get out of the house yesterday. On the good side I managed to take my first long walk in ages. This was my approximate route. I didn't quite take those paths in Prospect Park.


View Larger Map

Im happy that I finally made use of the park. I have to go back and check out the zoo and botanical gardens. I also want to find the pagoda and waterfall. The maps in the park are terrible. They are few and far between. They tell you to follow colored trails but when I was on the trail I didn't see the colored trailed markings.

I love urban parks. When I lived in Bayside I went to Alley Pond and Crocheron parks often. I did it as an adult and as a kid. The poorer the neighborhood the neighborhood the more use a park gets. That makes sense as it's free and poorer people find it harder to get out of the city, it is their only chance to be out in nature. The thing is that I get the feeling that gives some affluent people the idea that parks are just for the poor, that they can do better. They are wrong. Any kid who isn't taken to the local park is deprived. I know some of my friends take full advantage of their parks, that their kids know them as I knew mine. Others don't and they don't know what they are missing. Worse their kids will never know it.

When I walked by the lake I saw a family at the water's edge. The father had quite a large turtle in his hands. He was waving it around for everyone's amusement. I couldn't decide if that was right or wrong. Was he abusing the animal? I don't know. Turtles are pretty much invulnerable. That's why they live so long. Unlike most animals they don't often get eaten so it is worthwhile for them to have genes that give long life. It would be a waste on a squirrel as it would be killed long before it died a natural death. Since turtles don't have natural enemies it might not get that spooked by being picked up and waved around. It can just pull itself in its shell and relax. Is that what it did? Or did it react the way we would if a giant picked us up and used us to amuse its children. The honest answer is we don't know so I won't make any moral judgment. I do know it made the kids happy. It would have made me happy as a kid too.

Parks are public property, the commons, yet they give the feeling of being personal. You get the ownership not from property rights but from intimacy. When you know every nook and cranny that space becomes yours. Dump me anywhere in Alley Pond Park and I'll find my way in minutes. It's been five years since I've been there but I don't think I'll ever be able to lose my way there. There's a metaphor in there somewhere.

I ended up in a West Indian neighborhood. I took advantage of that to get jerk chicken and fried plantains for dinner. I have not been eating enough chicken. The reason is that I never see it on sale at the supermarket in packages smaller than three pounds. My freezer is tiny and I can't fit that much food in it. I'm going to just have to get used to paying more money for it.

When I got to the lake I heard the pounding bass line of music on the other side. I was not happy about that. It was disturbing my peaceful oasis. If it was a concert that thousands of people were enjoying I would have been OK with it. I might even enjoy it. I figured I'd check it out when I got to the other side. When I did there was nothing there. The music came from outside the park. It was in fact right in front of the Parkside Subway station. It was part of a festival but one that only attracted dozens, not even hundreds of people. It wasn't even live music it was a DJ. That wasn't fair. There was no reason the music had to be that loud. It just had to be heard on a street corner, not clear to the other side of a large park. There were maybe 50 people there to listen to it while hundreds, maybe thousands had to listen to it involuntarily. It was reggae. I actually liked the music. But I want it to be my choice to listen. It's actually the same issue I have with autoplay on websites.

I plan on taking another long walk today, right into Manhattan. I'll tell you what that's about tomorrow.





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Horvendile August 19, 2012
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