I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
-Bertrand Russell

What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell

January 13, 2014 - 12:22 p.m.

I have run out of clever titles about the Kennedys

Diaryland is down, that better be temporary. I will optimistically write this. It's amazing how long it took me to start writing in word then copying and pasting. What drove me to it was AOL used to go down and I'd what I had written when I started. Why didn't I think about how much easier it is to write on a word processor from the get go?

Yesterday I went to see the Kennedys at Peter and Paula's house aka River Spirit Music in Hastings. That's something of a production to get to. I take the to Grand Central Station and then the Metro North to Hastings where someone picks me up and drives me to the house. I left here at 1:50 to get to Hastings at 3:30. I got to Grand Central with about 15 minutes to spare. I was looking for perhaps something to eat when I heard this ethereal music coming from the East Corridor. I followed it and found this.

If you watch you'll see that is Renaissance Street Singers. This is why I love New York, this kind of thing happens. The spot doesn't get a lot of foot traffic but the acoustics are fantastic. Just go there to sing and don't worry if you get an audience.

Usually the person that picks me up is Carter but this time it was Brianne. It's been ages since I've seen her. Brianne is either a witch, a genius, or very lucky, when I got off the train she was sitting at the bench directly in front of the door I came out. We spotted each other before the door opened. I'm pretty sure she isn't a witch, I know she's the second, but it was at least partially the third option. It seems that Brianne's other friends call me her old man friend. I am NOT and old man. I just have a body with a longer history and the rest of her social set. We can't all afford brand new ones.

Carter did pick up Erika who all of a sudden is the friend I see the most often. This is the third time in a week or so. Erika what was before Ana�s ? It is so hard not having a brain. Brianne and I were the first people there and we saved a seat for Erika on the couch we claimed. I love the comfy seats. I was looking forward to seeing Maura get excited at seeing Brianne. I wasn't disappointed. Brianne and her friend Jenna made this video for Maura when they were 16.

Hey I told you she was a genius. Why didn't you believe me? I'm an idiot but not that kind of idiot. I'm the kind of idiot that is friends with geniuses. Shouldn't that be genii? Some research shows that it can be either. Genii is too affected for even me and I say platypodes.

Was Barbara my only other friend there? I think so. I could be wrong. I am that kind of idiot.

Nice thing about getting their early was getting to talk to Pete and Maura. That's pretty much always worthwhile. Actually the trip would have been worth it for that and the conversations I had with Brianne and Erika. It isn't often I get to have real talks about personal things with people and we did.

I have been seeing The Kennedys for 19 years. They no longer have new band smell. We are in the comfortable phase of our relationship. But that doesn't mean that the excitement is gone. I still get a thrill every time I see them. I still tear up every time I hear Stand or their rendition of Dave Carter's When I Go. I still dance in my seat to Life is Large. I still feel that I'll Come Over and Happy Again are sung directly to me and everyone else is just eavesdropping.

Everybody loves their upbeat spirit. Everybody loves their virtuoso musicianship. But what makes the Kennedys for me is that they always make me think. I live my life with a dialogue going on in my head. It's how I process things. Sometimes I'm talking to a friend, sometimes to you My Gentle Readers and sometimes to my therapist. When I'm seeing Pete and Maura my running conversation is with them. They get me thinking about a zillion things at once. It's a wonder that it took me almost 5 years to start talking to them regularly at shows as I always have so much to say to them. As much as I enjoy talking to them in my head it's even better when they can actually hear me and respond.

After the show we hung out for a while then Brianne drove Erika and me to the train. I love train rides and I love train rides with friends even more. Some of the best times I've had are traveling with friends in trains and cars.

When we got back to Grand Central we went our separate ways, Erika lives in Queens. I went straight home but I shouldn't have. I could have seen Ariana Gillis at Rockwood. I didn't know she was playing. I have too many musicians on my never miss list.

I have spent far more quality time with friends the last week than usual, more than the last couple of months combined, but when I got home I still had an anxiety attack. And I still couldn't go to sleep because I was afraid of the anxiety when the lights were out and there were no distractions. Of course once the lights went out I relaxed and fell asleep like I do on most nights. That is till I got distracted by my noisy house mate. Her new thing is stomping up and down the stairs and going into the kitchen making lots of noise in the middle of the night. My bedroom is right next to it but she doesn't consider that at all. One thing she does is stomp up the stairs, put a cup of water in the microwave. Stomp down the stairs. A few minutes later she stomps up the stairs and takes out the water and stomps down the stairs. My guess is she puts a tea bag in the water when she gets back down but that's just a guess. Why she doesn't just wait the two minutes for the water to heat is a mystery.

OK now ot make breakfast and head out to therapy. I have to work in a trip to Trader Joe's between that and going to see Tomoko Omura tonight.


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please hold me accountable.





Memories: Not that Horrid Song - May 29, 2018
Wise Madness is Now In Session - May 28, 2018
The NFL and the First Amendment - May 27, 2018
On The Road Again - May 26, 2018
Oliver the Three-Eyed Crow - May 25, 2018



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Horvendile January 13, 2014
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