I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
-Bertrand Russell

What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell

March 21, 2013 - 10:45 a.m.

Founding My Religion

I had a bunch of things I planned on writing today and didn't write the ideas down and now I'm blanking. I hate when I do that. So I'll do what I always do, start with the easy stuff and see where it leads. Here's a good sign, I'm writing before 9 AM. I always want to do that but rarely succeed.

I got myself out of the house yesterday in time to get to school, pick up my mail, and get some work done. I didn't have any mail except something from the post office warning old people to not fall for lottery scams. Why am I on the old people mailing list? I'm not an old people. I'm a good people. I can prove it, Rod Picott wrote it on two albums he signed for me, "You're good people." And you thought I was only one person. I am a multitude.

I've been trying to get them to upgrade software on my school computer for ages; Java, Flash, and Acrobat were all outdated. I don't have the privilege to install picasa though I used to have it. I was told they can't do it because I was getting a new computer. Yesterday I walked in and saw the new computer. I was so excited. I raced to see if I had picasa like I requested. I didn't. That was the least of my problems. I didn't have any of my files or preferences or any of the things that I've kept on that computer and its predecessors since I talked the school into giving me a computer in 2003. I don't have my excel spreadsheet with my grades. I don't have all the handouts I've written over the years and that I need. I don't have all my old tests. I need all those things to do my job. When they upgrade computers they are supposed to transfer all my files. Everything is supposed to be backed up on the schools servers. They better be. If not I'm going to just give all the students 100s. on the tests and quizzes.

On a personal level I lost all the music I had on the computer. With my CDs in storage that's the only place I have access to much of it. I dont have all the macros that I put on word. I need them for schoolwork and writing this. I don't have all my bookmarks on Firefox. I dont have any of my stored passwords. I am furious.

I'm back after a long break in writing. I wasn't inspired and was waiting for inspiration. Got it! I remember something fun I wanted to write about.

I wrote not that long ago on Pastoral care for atheists. The basic idea is that pastoral care is a great thing but I would never want to join any of the organizations that give it, not even Unitarians or Societies for Ethical Culture. It isn't a moral or philosophical issue, they are just things I don't like doing. I came up with something where I'd be happy being a pastor though I'd never use that word. I'd love to make the Church of the Flying Spaghetti monster a real church, though I'd get rid of the word church too.

All the days I use are just placeholders. I'm not married to any of them.

On Sundays there would be the "services." It would be a lecture, not a sermon. The most common would be popular science. The FSM would not be forgotten. When giving a lecture on cosmogony, the origin of the universe I'd say, "We know this isn't true as the universe was created by the Flying Spaghetti Monster but as he worked so hard to make all the evidence point to this theory we should respect his obvious wishes and learn it. Same thing for evolution of course. To mix things up there's be lectures on history, the arts, and current events. There would be some that are pure riffs on the FSM like a debate on whether a spaghetti dinner is cannibalism or like the Catholic Mass a ritual eating of the god to bring us closer to him. My original idea was no discussion of morals but I think some discussion of why there is no discussion of morals would be good. We don't need someone to tell us right from wrong. We know that hurting other people is bad and helping them is good. Morals that go beyond that are dubious. They are things like bans on homosexuality and the subservience of women. I really can't think of anything beyond various restatings of the golden rule that are worth following. Since we all know the basics of right and wrong we don't need to be lectures on them. The job of the Church of he FSM is make people happy

The good life, as I conceive it, is a happy life. I do not mean that if you are good you will be happy - I mean that if you are happy you will be good.~~Bertrand Russell
There would of course be a concert series. This is not a side project but central to the mission. You don't want to come on Sundays and listen to a lecture. Fine, Come and listen to music. In my Pastateria, I just came up with that alternative to church, the music would be folk but in others it would be whatever the congregation and Pasta Chef, the title of the pastor, agree to.

Saturday night is dance night with the type of dance varying from week to week. There will be something for everyone.

You can't forget the kids. There would be Sunday school. It wouldn't involve sitting and learning bible stories and homilies. It would be fun. There's be hands on science experiments. You know making volcanoes and blowing bubbles and magnets and a vendergraf generator and fossil hunting and mobius bands. Becca want to be the teacher? There'd be arts and crafts. There's be FSM scouts. Not boy scouts and girl scouts but children scouts.

Thursdays is gaming night. I bet there are a lot of Pastafarians among gamers. Same thing with trivia so Wednesday is trivia night.

There would be movies and plays and lectures. It would be a place people would want to be and want to be there together to build a feeling of community.

Of course there would be weddings and funerals and some sort of coming of age. They could be done with or without reference to the FSM, whatever the people involved wanted. You know I'd want his noodliness mentioned at my funeral. Not as sure about the wedding. The rite of passage, no question, the FSM belongs.

One guess what the only holiday is on the religious calendar. You got it, Festivus! There would be an awesome pole.

Of course the entire thing would have tax exempt status. I don't see how it could be denied under the first amendment.

OK so who is in? Any suggestions for other activities?






Annoying People - September 03, 2016
This Play Was The Pits - September 02, 2016
Banking on Getting Better or Avoiding Katastrophe. - September 01, 2016
Unlike Gilligan I Got Off the Island - August 31, 2016
Call of the Wilder - August 30, 2016




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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 License. Horvendile March 21, 2013
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