I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.
Edgar Allen Poe
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
- H. L. Mencken
Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so
What I have been telling you, from alpha to omega, what is the one great thing the sigil taught me — that everything in life is miraculous. For the sigil taught me that it rests within the power of each of us to awaken at will from a dragging nightmare of life made up of unimportant tasks and tedious useless little habits, to see life as it really is, and to rejoice in its exquisite wonderfulness. If the sigil were proved to be the top of a tomato-can, it would not alter that big fact, nor my fixed faith. No Harrowby, the common names we call things by do not matter — except to show how very dull we are ...
-James Branch Cabell
January 15, 2014 - 11:25 a.m.
I don't know how to go about this. LORi once said that she likes the way that I just say that something's bothering me then move on. I'll try that. I'm unhappy. I could say depressed, I could say existential angst, but unhappy is best. This isn't about the chemicals in my head it's about what's going on in my life. Unhappiness is the appropriate response. I'm a cheerful hobbit so I try and battle it but I can't win every battle. Right now I'm a bit tired of spoon bending games. I just want some good things to happen.
So I spent yesterday not wanting to get out of bed but did to get to John Platt's On Your Radar. The guests were Matt Sucich, Warren Bernhardt & Marc Black, and Sara Syms. It was the first show in the series in Rockwood 3. I got there early and found that I had a table reserved so didn't have to stake out a one for me but I did for Lori not LORi, Rona, and Bob. Erika came with Richard and Viki and she sat with me. I needed to be sitting with friends. Who else was there? Dan, Kat, Ina May, Karyn & Claude, and the people who are every show, the ones I'm forgetting.
If it can hold enough people for the show Stage 3 is better suited than Stage 2 for On Your Radar. it's all seated and far more comfortable. The stage itself has issues, it's smaller and the lighting is terrible. It is even less suitable for photography than stage 2. The performers never change instruments or configuration so I didn't need that many photos. Sarah's band was sitting and standing in the inky darkness so I didn't attempt to photograph them.
I was really tempted to run over to Rockwood 1 between Marc and Matt's sets to catch a song or two of Jean Rohe who was playing at Rockwood 1. She has new songs!
After the show I hung out a bit with my friends, but not Lori, Rona, and Bob, because Lori hates me and ran away. Then Barbara and I went across the street to Georgia BBQ for dinner. I always tell you how big the portions are so this time I took a picture to show you.
After dinner I headed home. I have pretty much not been out of bed since. I have nothing on today's agenda. I will make myself get out of the house. It looks like a nice day. I have no idea what I'll do but I don't want to spend another day feeling sorry for myself. I'm running a Red Queens Race, running very hard to stay in the same place.
I was going to say I'm uninspired but I'm not. I have things to write but I'm not getting my usual kick out of writing today so I'm going to see if I can get my usual kick out of eating and save it for tomorrow.
Brother Brothers in Arms - October 01, 2017
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